Gadget Gal, no one wants to buy your old junk.
What she's trying to say is your garage sale sign is missing a "B."
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
SSSpokesmen Spokesman
It's the Awesomes, America's favorite unemployed superhero team.
We're not unemployed. We're independent contractors.
SSSpokesmen Spokesman
What does that even mean?
On a tax level, it's far more beneficial. We can deduct, like, everything.
I'm going to show you an inkblot, and you tell me what you see.
Umm, an inkblot.
A butterfly.
The cat after Muscleman juggled it to death.
Break-dancing skeleton.
Alan Moore's The Watchmen.
The pubic hair of Lillian Gish.
Muscleman, what is wrong with your hearing?
You know, I think I got water in my ear when we fought Seaman.
That was two weeks ago.
To Mexico? Sign me up.
SStanderson
What made you decide to risk everything and run for President?
Standerson, it's simple. Freedom is not just a word, freedom is a thing, a thing that is also a word, a word thing. That's what I'm fighting for.
SStanderson
Well said, Mr. Awesome.
Guys, I solved the pee smell. Turns out the toilet I've been using is the book return slot.
Look, if you ever need anything, like money, I can teach you how to squeeze coal into diamonds.
It doesn't work when I do it.
Right, I forgot you're weak.
You've aged well, Gadget Gal.
My secret is Pilates and a rejuvenation ray.
So, an archaeologist. What's it like working with dinosaur bones?
That's a paleontologist. I'm an archaeologist.
Ooh, I love archaeology. What's your favorite mineral?
That's a geologist.
Oh, you fix people's gums and then you buy them fancy clothes?
That's a periodontist and a personal shopper, respectively; what I do...
He's a grave robber.
Close enough.
Okay, guys, looks like we're going to the Amazon.
Oh, I love their two-day shipping.
Perfect Man, got a sec? I have a rally tomorrow. Which tie do you think looks more Presidential? Blue with red stripes or napalm with eagles?
SMrs. Sullivan
Oh, no, do not tell me you are going skiing. You're going to wreck both your damn legs.
We're not skiing, Mama. We're just crossing a lava flow in a booby-trapped dungeon temple.
SMrs. Sullivan
All right, just so long as it's not skiing. You know that's how we lost Sonny Bono.
Thank God we got a dinosaur expert with us.
I'm an archaeologist!
Oh, right, you're the rock guy. Hey, what's the deal with sand?
I hope you learned your lesson. You're all getting six months detention.
VVasquez
Seriously, detention? They murdered me, yeah, let's just give them detention. That sounds fair; that's how much my life is worth.
MHMackenzie Hitler
Uh, complain much? You're alive now, stop yapping.
JGJoseph Goebbels
Seriously, I think people really like Nazis. Everyone's always comparing stuff to us on Twitter.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Awesomes pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.