Toad quotes from The Animals of Farthing Wood

Mr Vole

Owl thinks all the animals and plants are poisoned.

Adder

Except you of course!

Fox

Adder!

Adder

Jussst teasing.

Owl

Hunger's stronger than any oath.

Toad

Owl's right. Instinct will out. I should know.

Mole! It's all your fault!

Toad

Well, at least it isn't mine for a change, eh mateys?

Adder

(after eating one of the ebible frogs) Delicious!

Toad

You're supposed to be making friends with the local inhabitants! Not eating them!

Owl

What is all the commotion?

Toad

Adder's eaten a frog!

Owl

Oh, is that all?

What do you mean "all"?!?

Owl

The oath cannot extend to non-Farthing Wood creatures.

Why not?

Owl

What on earth would we eat if it did?

The White Deer Park animals just won't share!

Toad

I'm not surprised matey. Some of us have been eating them!

Kestrel

The White Deer Park predators eat sometimes as well you know.

Owl

You would say that! After all, some of us have been eating some of us too, haven't we right Kestrel?

Kestrel

Oh how very embarassing! I don't know how it happened Fox!

Toad

Here... I don't live here... do I? Hmm... well mateys... got to get home... got to get home...

Adder

Toady!

Toad

Got to get back to the pond where I was born... got to get back...

Adder

Toady... your old pond doesn't exist any more!

Toad

Got to get back to the pond where I was born...

Adder

Toadsss.

Whistler

I could take him high up in the sky and drop him, like I did the other one.

Fox

No. There's only one animal who can open a jar like this. A human animal.

Toad

Oh no, not again!

Toad

Adder me old matey, long time no see! Ha har! How are y... ooh... (see's Adder's tail has been bitten off) You're not half the snake you used to be matey.

Adder

Ssscarface thinks snake tastes nice!

Toad

He did that to you?

Adder

I'm going to give him a taste of what adders are really made of! (sniggers) Nice...

Toad

You know matey, I don't see you for months and suddenly I bump into twice in one day! To what do I owe the honour?

Adder

It's safer to be out and about than it used to be.

Toad

Eh?

Adder

The park residents number one less...

Toad

(counting with his fingers) One, two, three, four...

Adder

Ssstupid!

Toad

Alright, so what are you getting at? You're worse than Owl! No use talking in riddles to me matey!

Adder

I jussst killed Scarface! Scarface is dead! I bit him!

Toad

You said I was mad didn't you fox, because I'd said I'd seen rats.

Fox

I'm very sorry, Toad. Obviously your not mad.

Toad

I'm not mad! [laughs hysterically]

Vixen

But he's a rat.

Spike

[to Toad] Long-Tailed personage.

Toad

He don't like to be called a...er...

Spike

Long-Tailed personage.

Toad

One of those.

Fox

I know, what if us foxes were to stand guard around the pond? There's not enough of us to save all the frogs but it might make a difference.

Toad

Yes, yes, ah, ha. Thank you Fox.

Fox

[yet another frog is easily taken] They don't do much to help themselves do they.

Toad

I can hear him!

Spike

So can I! Ah!

Charmer

Shall I ask them?

Ranger

Well if you don't I'll spend all day wondering what all this was all about.

Charmer

Toad? We don't mean to interrupt, but what are you and your ratty friend doing?

Spike

It's a game, a very serious game.

Toad

That's right matey! Demanding great intelligence, we have to guess where Mossy Mole will come up!

Spike

He'll come up here!

Toad

Here, This is it! He'll come up here! Any moment!

Spike

[laughs] Here! He'll come up here!

Mossy

Ready or not, here I am! [next to Ranger]

Ranger

Does this mean I win the game?

Mossy

You Win! Ranger's Champion, he wins!

Ranger

I want to hear Toad say it.

Toad

[sighs] You win.

Ranger

[chuckles] That's quite made my day! Ha ha, ha, ha.