[It is pouring with rain]
Where's Owl?
If she's got any sense at all she'll be tucked up nice and snug underground.
OWL?
Well, under a bush then. Whatever!
[Mrs. Pheasant takes one of Owl's shedded feathers and puts it in her sleeping husband's tail]
[wakes up] DAAAAAH!!!
There. That's better now.
What have you done?!
I've just added a stray feather to your tail, dear, to hide the burnt bits. Oooh, it do look lovely!
[suspicious] What kind of feather?
Well, I think it's one of Owl's actually--
THAT DOWDY FEMALE?!
Beggars can't be choosers, Pheasant.
You should be grateful.
Grateful?! What?! [To his wife, Mrs. Pheasant] To have her feathers in my beautiful tail?! Stupid bird! Take it out at once!
[Mrs. Pheasant sighs and does so]
As if any other creature had feathers anywhere near as handsome as mine!
[sadly] I was only doing my best.
Peace... Perfect peace.
[to the Pheasants] Stop squabbling! Can't you see Fox is tired? And look at all the others. Welcome, Badger.
Thank you, Kestrel. Not much like home, is it?
Any boat hole in a storm.
You never said a truer word, Owl. Personally, I'm just glad to get out of the wet.
[to his dog Bruno] Right, Bruno, now's your chance to save your skin. Guard that door. And guard it well. Because if that fox escapes, you'll be as dead as this bird. [he holds up a dead Mrs. Pheasant]
[wails] My wife!
[to Fox] You wait 'till I'm reloading my gun, Fox. I'll get my own back on you, you see if I don't.
Check the windows.
They're shut.
[Tom Briggs takes a dead Mrs. Pheasant]
I'm afraid your wife's going to be the farmer's dinner, Pheasant.
[cries] Where? Where is she?
Poor Pheasant, no wonder you were so scared all the time.
Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you! Ahahaha!
[hears Bruno growling] It must be some way out. [hears Bruno panting] Owl?
This is going to take some thinking about. [closes her eyes]
Mum, she's fallen asleep.
Shhh... [Bruno growls at the barn door and whines]
Gaah! [goes back to the house and closes the door] That fox is done for this time!
BGBetsy Griggs
He'll keep. Your dinner won't. [puts down the plate of chicken drumstick and boiled vegetables]
Oh! [closes his shotgun] Women!
If I could get my teeth into you...
[snarls] Watccch it! My bite'sss worse than my bark.
My master wants you dead.
So? He wants every fox dead.
You killed his chickens!
Oh, no I didn't.
Liar!
I'm not the only fox around.
You're here.
Ah, I see. Any fox will do. Is that it? Your master must be very stupid.
[growls] How dare you!
To kill one fox because another hurt him. That's the same as kicking you because his wife's burnt his dinner!
[realising] Uh? - He does, too!
I mean, does that make any sense to you?
Er, no. But you still haven't told me why you were lurking round the chicken coop!
Not for the taste of chicken. I don't even like them. Too many feathers. Achoo!
You're a right one, aren't you? Joking at a time like this! Alright, if it wasn't for the chickens, what was it for?
Didn't you see the others?
What others?
My friends. Not foxes. But rabbits. Mice. Hedgehogs. Toads, birds, all kinds!
Your friends?
We've taken an Oath of Mutual Protection.
What's that when it's at home?
Well, we've sworn to look after each other on this journey we're doing to a nature reserve. Even humans can't hurt you there.
[growls] pull the other one [growls].
True as I'm standing here.
You're true to your name, I must say, very cunning. But you can't fool me, oh, no. I'm taking you back. I'll get a nice fat reward when my master sees you're dead.
Oh, no you won't.
Oh, yes I will!
You won't. He doesn't want you to kill his fox. He wants to do it for himself. All you'll do is rob him of the satisfaction.
[snarls] All right, suits me! I'll take you back alive! [growls]
Sorry. Can't oblige, old son. If you want me, you'll have to kill me first.
Oh, I don't know. First my master blames me for not catching his fox, then when I've caught him he still blames me.
That's about it.
You've got me tied in knots, you clever dink!
You should have caught the right fox. That's all there is to it.
Wild animals, huh. They'll be telling me the cat's made a friend of a mouse next! [Fox sweats] But no, that can't be right. [Fox leaves the entrance and pushes his tail back] Or that I should make a friend of the cat?
[Fox looks back and runs away]
That can't be right, either. [Fox runs up to the hill] Now what am I to do? Go home I suppose.
[sobs] My poor wife...
Yes... [to Mr. Hare] we must be nice to him, dear. Do try.
It's only now she's gone, I realise how much she did for me. [sobs] Who's going to dig for my grubs now?
Oh! I draw the line at that!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Animals of Farthing Wood pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.