All right, Jimbo, now listen. We're going to be staying at the Wild Animal Land in Dead Zebra Carcass suite. Don't tell your mother. It's gonna be a big surprise.
Oh, and Jimmy, Granny Neutron's coming over while we're gone.
Aw, Mom. Don't you remember my theorem proving mathematically, I don't need anyone to watch me?
No, Jim-jam, she's not watching you, you're watching her.
Besides, you can keep each other company. Now, remember, we're counting on you to watch out for her.
Oh, and don't conduct anymore experiments on her, Jimbo.
At her age, the last thing you want is excitement.
[A taxi screeches to a stop in front of the Neutron residence with Granny driving]
GrannyTold you I could get here from the airport in under fifty cents. [laughs]
Granny
Jimmy, you tote my clothes. Hugh, you carry my pills, syrups, salves serums, girdles, ointments, medical devices, and miscellaneous supports.
[Jimmy's lab; Jimmy and Goddard watch Granny on the monitor screen, talking to a Jimmy standee]
Age is a cruel, cruel thing, Goddard. In a short 65 years, you completely lose your ability to tell when people want you to stop talking.
Granny
[on screen] And forget Preparation H. I've made it all the way to Preparation X. [laughs]
[thought of something] Wait a second. If I made her young again, I'd bet she'd stop complaining. But I promised Mom and Dad I wouldn't experiment on Granny…especially after that time I made her magnetic. [chuckles]
[Granny sits across from the Jimmy standee, trying to open a lid of a small bottle, as the real Jimmy enters the living room with the Tonic behind his back]
Granny
Good morning. [points to the standee] I was just telling you over there about my deviated spatchum. On cold mornings it rattles like the Tin Man throwing up a hoagie full of wood screws.
Granny
Tongue De-Furrer. Your tongue gets furry when you're old. Sometimes I wake up it has chewing on it.
Let me open that for you. [takes the bottle as he turns away from Granny, pours the tonic in it, and turns back to her] I think you'll feel much better and quieter after you drink this.
Granny
[drinks the bottle and smacks her lips distastefully] Tastes funny. Of course, what do I know - after 60, your sense of taste completely disapp- [It transforms her into a baby]
[surprised in shock] Granny?!
BBaby
I feel great! Did I just take my morphine?
Uh...No, Granny. Well, you're...You're sort of, uh...baby.
BBaby
[as Goddard holds up a mirror, looking at her reflection] Holy fiber caps, I'm topless!
Oh, man, this isn't good! Where'd you get the diaper?
BBaby
I was already wearing it. [farts in her diaper] Ooh...I need my diapey changed!
Problem. Goddard, change diaper.
[Goddard hacks in disgust]
BBaby
Change me, NOW! [starts to cry and breaks wind in her diaper again]
Who can change a diaper? [Goddard displays "A NURSE" on his screen] I don't know any nurses. [Goddard's screen then displays "YOUR MOTHER"] No way. I love and respect Mom far too much to let her know I...disobeyed her. [Goddard's screen displays "CINDY"; shockingly looks out the window, seeing Cindy across the street running a garage sale in the driveway with Libby] Uh-uh, no way! I will never ever ask Cindy for a favor!
BBaby
[breaks wind in her diaper again] Clean my poopy!
Okay, let's go ask Cindy for a favor. Shall we?
Well, I'd love to stay and help you narrowly avoid even more consequences of your stupid actions, but it looks like Libby and I have a date with some enchilada burritos. [leaves]
It's nice to have you back, Granny.
Granny
So nice to be back, Jimmy. [chuckles]
Hey, Jim, I'm really thirsty. Does your mom have any lemonade?
Granny
[gives Carl the antidote baby bottle] Drink this!
NO! [Carl drinks the antidote, turning himself into an old man] Carl? You okay?
Well, my eyes hurt, my hair is gone, and I have a powerful urge to dance badly.
Granny
I'll take a piece of that.
[All clones watch Jimmy blast off outside]
EJEvil Jimmy
Hey, you heard the man: do your chores, boys.
But I've never mailed a letter! What if I get my hand stuck in the box?!
Hey, turn that frown upside down, Mr. Gloomy Gus! Everything's gonna be terrific!
[chuckles] Mais oui! Love is all around us.
[Granny Neutron is sitting on a bench at the park, surrounded by birds as Happy Jimmy shows up]
Hello, grandmother, dear.
Granny
Where have you been? This bench is too hard. These birds are getting too close. The sun hurts my eyes.
Isn't it a beautiful day? Aren't these birds absolutely amazing? Isn't it great to be alive?!
[Cut to Gloomy Jimmy at a mailbox getting his hand stuck]
Oh, hi, Jimmy. I have to do a report on snails or Napoleon. Can you help me?
What's the point of doing homework? We do it and then what? Poof, We're gone. Nothingness, emptiness. We're all just dust in the wind.
Okay, I..I don't want to be dust in the wind.
[Cut to Cool Jimmy walking downtown with Disco music playing]
He shoots, he scores. Neutron is definitely on. Lookin' good. You the man, you the man. 'Ey, it's the Nicksta.
Neutron? What are you doing?!
I'm walkin' here! You got a problem wit' dat, Skateboard Boy!?!
Uh, "Skateboard Boy"? [Macho Jimmy skates on Nick's skate board] Whoa, check it out! Neutron has the moves! [crunching, skateboard breaks in two]
Well, how 'bout next time you get a board that can handle the Neutron style? Later, Nick-O-Rama.
[Nick looks angrily in Cool Jimmy's direction]
[The citizens clamor angrily at Hugh for what the Jimmy clones did]
Calm down, folks. Now, just tell me, what did the Jimster do?
He busted my skateboard, dude!
He said I was gonna be "dust in the wind."
Granny
He made me smile and my dentures fell out! [pulls out her dentures]
He mocked Ultra Lord's family!
He made my heart sing and… [snaps out of it] I mean, he said things to me so vile and despicable I cannot repeat them in mixed company.
PFPie-face Man
And, he threw a pie in my face!
[Chuckles] You can't beat the classics. [Pie-face Man growls] I'm sure Jimmy had a good reason for doing all these admittedly strange, bizarre things, so…who wants pie?
[All growling]
PFPie-face Man
[Spits] I'm good.
Oh, no! It was the clones! I gotta find them. Goddard, activate clone locator!
[Goddard's chest show a map with Jimmy's head representing the clones, pinging]
Let's teach him a lesson!
Wait, everyone! I can explain. [explaining the truth; 4 hours later…] And that's how it all happened.
PFPie-face Man
[speechless] Huh, genetic replicants manifesting mutant side effects, eh?
As long as you got rid of all the clones. One Jimmy Neutron in the world is bad enough, but six is blech!
Uh, dude, you did catch all of them, didn't you?
Uh… who would like some pie at my house?
EJEvil Jimmy
Here's Jimmy! [laughs evilly]
EEverybody
[to Jimmy; annoyed with anger] Neutron!
[nervously] So, uh, I take it that means no pie? [screams while he and Goddard run for their lives as they start chasing after him]
Granny
Rip off his head!
[Evil Jimmy faces the viewers and throws a cherry pie at the camera, ending the episode]
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius · 473 quotes
