Mom, Dad, you can't honestly believe the Yolkians aren't evil anymore just 'cause they brought us presents.
But such lovely presents, dear. Hugh, look at my new diamond earrings again.
HughStill beautiful. You see, Jim-Jim, evil spaceniks are people just like you and me, and like people, they deserve a second chance, especially the ones with huge bags of gifts.
Well, the sooner they go back to Yolkus, the better, if you ask me.
[flushes the toilet as he exits the bathroom] Hello, Neutrons. How are my three humanoid life forms doing?
Mom! What's he doing here?!
Didn't you tell him, Hugh?
Hugh
[realizes] Nope. Must've slipped my mind. Jimbo, say hello to our new houseguest—- King Goobot!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! Time out, here! We're letting an evil alien live in our house?!
Hugh
Now, Jimbo, don't be rude. The Yokians are friendly now. They've even offered to fill in for all of us at our humdrum jobs for as long as we want.
How do you like your steak cooked, Mr. Goobot?
Cooked?! Oh, uh, I mean, however you like it, my good woman.
I'm worried about Jimmy, Hugh. He's alienated everyone in town with all this talk of evil Yolkians.
Hugh
D'oh, you know boys. It's probably just a phase, like…collecting bugs or eating soup with your hands. I hear Jimbo's over this whole "evil" Yolkian thing by now.
[runs into the kitchen] Mom, Dad, the Yolkians are planning on feeding the entire town to Poultra at today's picnic!
Hugh
[spits out his drink] I stand corrected.
What are you talking about Jimmy?
They're transporting Poultra's water dish down from deep space. That means Poultra's not far behind! Whatever you do, don't go to the picnic today.
Hugh
We're still going, right?
Okay, that concludes the boring and annoying portion of the program. Our next act…
[runs up on the stage and takes the microphone out of Libby's hand] Wait! I think Jimmy's telling the truth!
JLJimmy and Libby
You do?
Yes! While I have no idea how the Yolkians could possibly have gotten into Jimmy's lab… Well, the point is, we owe Jimmy! Who saved us when hostile pants were on the loose in the whole city? Who repelled the giant flaming meteor headed straight for town? Who risked his life to shrink Miss Fowl down to size when she was 50 feet tall? Okay, I know. All of those things were Neutron's fault in the first place, but he still risked his life to save us! The least we owe him is our trust!
You know, the annoying blonde girl has a point.
MMan
Eh, she usually hates Jimmy.
Well, Jimmy did save me from being a giant freak woman.
Give it up for Jimmy! [the crowd cheers for him] We believe in you, Jimmy!
Now, wait just a minute. I'm not believing a word Jimmy says until I have some decent credible evidence. [Poultra roars in distance] Works for me.
[The townspeople start to run but a Yolkian pushes a button, closing the gates, trapping them]
Sweet muffins, we're trapped!
[Poultra's water dish is released from under the stage]
Hugh
[as the Yolkians release Poultra's water dish] Hey, look! Jimmy's wrong again. The nice Yolkians built us a swimming pool.
Hugh, that's Poultra's water dish!
Hugh
Now, remember, son - there's no "I" in "team," you know what I mean?
You mean we should sublimate our differences for the good of our combined effort?
Hugh
What? No, no, I mean there's no letter "i" in the word "team." There's never a wrong time for a spelling lesson, son!
[Carl and Sheen show up at the Neutron house with their sleeping bags for Jimmy's sleepover]
Hugh
I remember my first sleepover. The games, the practical jokes, the crying for my mommy.
Hugh, that was our honeymoon.
Hugh
Yeah, I know.
[Carl and Sheen enter the living room where Jimmy is expecting them]
Gentlemen, welcome to what I expect to be the greatest sleepover in history.
Yeah! I baked galactic marshmallow balls from the Ultra Lord recipe book.
And I brought a video of Larry the Lovesick Llama.
You know, I think I have something you guys'll enjoy even more. Behold, the Slumbertron 9000, designed to throw the ultimate sleepover party. It provides the world's greatest made-to-order pizza, tells super scary stories, and supplies the perfect pillows for ultimate pillow fights!
Turn it on! Turn it on! Pizza, pillows, scary stories!
Hey, hey, hey. Easy, Sheen. One thing at a time. This is the Slumbertron's maiden voyage. I suggest we begin with…the pillow fight.
Hey, I made a giant pizza. Let's eat. [screams terrifyingly when the pizza pops up from the box and hovers]
The Slumbertron must've combined the pizza and scary story programs to create…
I can't delete the pizza! The screen's frozen!
PMPizza Monster
Time for my dinner!
[The boys run away, screaming]
HELP! WE'RE BEING CHASED BY A MONSTER!
Tell those boys to go to sleep now!
Hugh
Oh, Booger Sugar. They're just playing Help; I'm Being Chased by a Monster.
PMPizza Monster
Well, my tasty morsels, the tables are turned. Now it looks like I get to eat YOU!
Let's split up. Whoever the Pizza Monster isn't chasing can go for help. 1, 2, 3. [Carl and Sheen accidentally bump into both sides of him] GO!
[The three boys run away, splitting up into different directions and the Pizza Monster splits into three, laughing evilly and chase after them]
If only it used its anchovies for good instead of evil.
PMPizza Monster
Fools! Haven't you ever heard of sequels?
[after a nightmare] Oh, it was only a nightmare. An anchovy, clam and peanut butter induced nightmare. [sees his parents running down the stairs until Hugh wakes up screaming]
Hugh
Whew! That was a doozy.
[After Carl wakes up from a nightmare screaming from mutant pizza]
Bad dream! Bad dream! [sees Sheen getting attacked by Pizza Monster]
[screams] Phew. I guess it was all just a dream. Hey Carl, I- [But Carl is nowhere to be seen. He picks up Pizza Monster in two hands, making the Pizza Monster terrified.]
[After the Pizza Monster wakes up from a nightmare screaming.]
PMPizza Monster's Wife
Honey, what is it?
PMPizza Monster
Oh, I had the most horrible dream. There were 3 terrible children, a tubby one, a maniac one and one with a giant head!
PMPizza Monster's Wife
I told you, dear. There's no such thing as children, now go back to sleep.
[Both go back to sleep in their pizza box beds.]
Notice how it only affects the objects you point at, thus preserving the integrity of the space-time continuum.
Hugh
[rewinding and fast-forwarding the girls] Ooh! It makes everything all time-loopy.
Might I suggest the frame-by-frame function? [presses a button, fast-forwarding the girls in slow-motion]
Hugh
Oh, I could do this for hours!
Mr. Neutron, please! You're giving us massive brain freeze!
Hugh
[low growling, slurping] Oh, Sam. I could eat your ice cream all day long. So I think I will. [rewinding]
EEveryone
[grossed out] Ew! That's disgusting! Horrible! Gross!
You've been re-eating the same ice cream for hours! It's disgusting- you're out of here!
Hugh
[gasps] You're right Sam. Mustn't overdo a good thing. Well, I'll just be going. Just let me finish my Purple Flurp. [belches and repeats, still making everyone grossed out]
[Hugh belches and repeats]
[The angry townspeople show up at the Neutron house, carrying Hugh home as Judy opens the door, and they all complain to her about what he has done by using the Quantum Reply to annoy them]
Hugh
Hi, Sugarbooger! [as the angry townspeople set him down] Remember how I promised I'd never be brought home by an angry mob again?
He disgusted all my customers, yeah!
GGirl
He made me experience the miracle of birth again and again and again! [breaks down, sobbing]
Alright, everyone. I'll handle things from here. [closes the door]
Somebody give me a ride home now.
Hugh
Now, Sugarbooger, I know it looks like I may have misused the power to control time and space for my own advantage, but on the positive side…
Mm-hmm. [grabs Hugh by the ear]
Hugh
Ow! Honey, that's my ear. I use it to listen with. Ow!
What a relief. All the changes we made don't seem to have altered the timeline. [enters the house] Mom, Dad, I'm back! [sees Hugh being put in a cage by Judy as punishment] Oh, no! We did alter the timeline! We created a world where human males are slaves to a race of female warriors!
Oh, no! [he and Carl run out of the house to Cindy and Libby]
Have mercy, mighty overlords.
Spare us and we shall serve you well!
[Cindy and Libby look at each other, baffled]
Sweetie, relax. I just put your father in there to keep him from annoying the townspeople. [to Hugh; sternly] Now, you were saying, Hugh?
Hugh
[remorsefully] I'm sorry, honey. [Judy rewinds him with the Quantum Replay] I'm sorry, honey. [Judy rewinds him again] I'm sorry, honey.
[The device lands in Leppy's hands, and he points it at the viewers, rewinding the entire episode back to the beginning]
Hugh
Well, son, my old baseball coach used to say to me, "Hey, kid, you stink on ice! Go home and play with your dolls!" [laughs] Oh, yes, those were the days. We all had crazy nicknames, back then. They used to call me, "Get-lost", or "We-hate-you". Hey, Jimbo, here, see if you can't catch this.
[Throws ball Jimmy fails to catch and shatters the window of a taxi]
Hey, Oldilocks, what's the big idea, you and your bingo buddy takin' all the rice pudding from the buffet?
It says "Seniors Eat Dessert Free"!
You're supposed to buy an entree first!
We did. I had a hamburger in here yesterday. [he and Sheen laugh] Oh, my spleen.
[Meanwhile, at the titanium and gift cards store…]
Now, what was it I wanted? Something starting with a "T." Tostadas, turpentine?
Hugh
Well, hey, old-timer. I like the way you're wearing your pants. I've been thinking of wearing mine more like that, maybe growing out my nose hair a little bit. You look familiar.
Oh, no, I'm just a strange old man, not your son after screwing up an experiment.
Hugh
[chuckles] I know. You remind me of my father, except you're not always saying, "Huey, I told you, toothpaste isn't food."
Not possible. I don't have any family.
Hugh
What? Oh, well, that's terrible. Come on. Come with me, I'll get you a nice home-cooked meal.
B-but I can't. I have to buy something with a "T."
Hugh
I'll get you a nice cup of tea.
Hugh
Come on.
Here's your dinner. I put it in the blender first so the chewing doesn't tire you out.
Hugh
So what did you do before you retired, old-timer?
I can't even remember what I'm supposed to be doing now, but I think it's real important.
Hugh
Well, you know, maybe if we guess, it'll jog your memory. Let's see. Did it involve swinging heavy things?
Hugh
Well, that eliminates lumberjack and executioner.
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius · 473 quotes
