So. Neutron, I bet you think you're a great big hero.
Well, Cindy, you know, it's just all...
It was your stupid fault all this happened! I'm watching you, Big Brain. But I was in my underwear.
Well, I'm left speechless. Ultra Lord, would you care to retort. [imitating Ultra Lord] My new pants are, like, so cool! I could just about die. [normally] That's just what I was thinking.
CarlI missed you, pants. It's so good to be back inside.
Can we go to the movies now, Jimmy?
Okay. Last one there buys the candy!
[sternly] James Isaac Neutron, you made this mess, and you guys are not going anywhere until you 3…pick up these pants.
CSCarl and Sheen
Mrs. Neutron!
[after Jimmy attempts to use the Brain Drain helmet on himself] Wow, look at him. He looks so...so similar.
Carl
Aw, that's okay, Jim. There's always next time.
[notices the shine on his inventions, speaking in a derpy-like voice] Shiny? Shiny! I like shiny!
CSCarl and Sheen
It worked!
Hey, have you guys seen my loopy dance? [singing] I'm loopy, I'm loopy, I'm loopy, loopy, loopy...
Carl
You know, this new Jimmy seems kinda stupid.
Yeah, he's really messed up. [beat] I like him!
Carl
Me too!
[Jimmy is outside school, along with Carl, Sheen, Libby & Cindy.]
Ladies and gentlemen...and Cindy, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld!
Carl
A llama?
Carl
A baby llama?
Carl
A baby llama with a little hat on?
An invention of yours that actually works? [She and Libby laugh.]
NO!...I mean...yes! I present to you...my latest neutronic invention... [presents three pieces of miniature books] Book Gum. Why read a book when you can just chew the book instead?
Wow, Jimmy, chewing a book.
Sheen, you don't actually chew a book. See, I reduced the contents of different books to gum form. You chew it, and you know it. [gives some gum to Sheen, who chews it.]
[chews a piece] Yuck! Tastes...fishy. [starts quoting from Moby-Dick] "Call me Ishmael. Starbuck, it's the great white whale! I'll get you, Moby Dick!"
Give me a piece of that. [takes a piece and chews] Hmm...It tastes like fried chicken. [starts quoting from Gone with the Wind] "Oh, Ashley, Oh, Rhett. I don't know nothin' about birthin' no babies."
[Carl is about to taste a handful of gum pieces]
Careful, Carl. It would be very dangerous to eat more than one at a time.
Carl
[selects a piece] Mmm...William Shakespeare.
That might just be a little strong for you, Carl.
Carl
[quotes Romeo's monologue from Romeo and Juliet, during which Cindy rolls her eyes in amazement] "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the sun. See how she leans her cheek upon her hand. Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek."
It's the good life, gentlemen. While the W.L. 3000 does all the work, we're here enjoying a tall cold one.
And plan our VIP trip to Retroland.
Carl
HUZZAH!
Carl
"Huzzah" some goofy way to say "COOL!"!
[Willy rings the doorbell]
MMan
[opens the door] What?!?!
WWilly
Goo-ood afternoon, sir. May I say you look absolutely f-f-fabulous? Ha-ha-ha, yes, I agree it is beautiful out, heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh...
MMan
I don't want to buy nothin'.
WWilly
Buy? Who said buy? I-I-I'd like to give you a piece of c-candy, absolutely free with no strings attached.
WWilly
You can never have enough ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-andy, sir.
MMan
I can! And I DO! Good-bye! [almost closes the door]
WWilly
[blocks the door] Y-Yes, y-y-y-yes, this is a "g-good buy".
MMan
[struggling to close the door] What part of "NO!" do you not understand?!
WWilly
[looks at Goddard and holds him up] How about if I throw in this free-ee-ee-ee dog if you buy a box?
MMan
Hmm...what kind of dog is he?
WWilly
He's your kind of dog. C-Congratulations. [gives Goddard to the man, takes his money and slams the door]
MMan
[from inside the house] Hey, what does he ea-? Wha-? Wha-? Oh! OH! Not on the carpet, yo-! Ooh...Are those lug nuts?
You gave away Goddard? But you can’t just...
WWilly
How much do I hear for this strapping young lad? Large of head, brawny of brain.
Wh-what are you... what...? 25 cents? I’m worth at least...
Sorry, Jimmy, I always wanted to buy you ever since I was five years old!
WWilly
And the bid is 50 cents... 50 cents... 50-50-50 cents. Four bits, four bits...
Oh, Hugh, you've got to do something.
Don’t worry, sweet cheeks. I’ve got it covered. I'll give you one dollar!
WLThe Willy Loman 3000
Two dollars! Going once, going twice....
Eh, too rich for my blood. See ya, Jimmy.
Hugh Neutron, you buy our son this instant!
But I only have a dollar!
Come on! Come on! We need more money!
Oh, no, no. Think, think, think, think...
MJMemory Jimmy
It would be very dangerous to eat more than one at a time.
Brain blast. Might I interest you in some free gum?
WWilly
Did you say free? Once upon a time... It was the best of times it was the worst of times... Elementary, my dear Watson! Hop on Pop... You're a sorcerer-sorc-sorcerer, Harry! I'm telling you stay away from that! Huck-Finn. Danger! I followed the White-White Rabbit down the hole. Men are from M-M-Mars! Danger, Jimmy Neutron... That's Boo Radley! Danger! Literature overload! Lit-Lit-Literature overload... One for all and all for one! Danger! Jimmy Neutron! Danger! Goodnight, Moon. Danger! Danger! Danger, Danger! Danger! Danger! (Slowly) Danger...
Well, I'd love to stay and help you narrowly avoid even more consequences of your stupid actions, but it looks like Libby and I have a date with some enchilada burritos. [leaves]
It's nice to have you back, Granny.
So nice to be back, Jimmy. [chuckles]
Carl
Hey, Jim, I'm really thirsty. Does your mom have any lemonade?
[gives Carl the antidote baby bottle] Drink this!
NO! [Carl drinks the antidote, turning himself into an old man] Carl? You okay?
Old Carl
Well, my eyes hurt, my hair is gone, and I have a powerful urge to dance badly.
I'll take a piece of that.
[about Sheen & Carl] And what are they doing here? The big one is odd and the thin one is a weirdo.
Carl
Hey, you can't insult us like that!
[tosses Carl and Sheen a gold brick] Here you go, get yourself something nice.
Sure they can! [turns to Carl] Let's go, odd guy!
Carl
[snorts] You got it, weirdo!
[observing Carl's genius state in his dream] When Carl's asleep, he dreams he's a genius like me.
Like you? Please, you can't even spell your own name!
[Jimmy looks down at his school desk, seeing apparently botched attempts at spelling "Jimmy"]
Carl
Now I need a dummy who will volunteer.
[Everyone points at Jimmy]
But I'm not dumb. I'm a genius!
[Everyone laughs]
[giggling] If you're so smart, what's the square root of a flexnart?
That doesn't make any sense!
Carl
The square root of a flexnart is a cupful of boogers.
[dreamily] He did that all in his head!
Carl, you're asleep. This is a dream.
Carl
Don't be silly. If this was a dream, could I do... [pulls a brain out from his head] this?
That's the only time you can do it! Carl, you're asleep, there are llamas in the classroom! Libby rowed to school with a plastic leg!
Carl
Her paddle broke.
We must get to the bottom of this! [slaps Carl's shoulder]
[The students gasp]
He-He touched his astounded Carl-ness!
Throw him in the Ultra Principal!
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius · 473 quotes
