Carl quotes from The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

Carl

[waking up] Oh, wow, I had the craziest dream.

[panting] I know, I was there. You almost got me killed by a legume! [sees the Lima Bean Monster creeping up behind Sheen] Sheen, don't move. We have an evil giant man-eating Lima bean monster right behind you.

Sheen

Ha! You guys. I haven't believed in that since I was, like, 7.

Uh, hey, Carl, you won't tell anyone about that awful, desperate thing I had to do to wake you up, will ya?

Carl

Of course not, Jimmy.

Cindy

[shows up angrily and walks to Jimmy] Not even in his dreams, Neutron! [hardly slaps him in the face, causing him to spin and fall on his back, and she leaves, disgusted]

Sheen

Hey, Jimmy, we need a name! How about: "The Mighty Disciples of Ultra Lord"?

Oh, ho! What about, what about this: "The Science Kings"?

Carl

Oh, I got a name. And it's great.

Sheen

Does it have the word "llama" in it?

Carl

NO! Yes.

Okay, well um...maybe we can mix 'em together? I know: "The Llama Lords of Science"!

Uh, I'm thinking about uh...changing our name. What about: "The Jimmy Neutron Experience"?

Carl

Yeah, I kinda like "The Carl Wheezer Project".

Sheen

I have to vote for "Sheen and the Sheenettes". You guys can be the Sheenettes! Um, or we can get some Sheenettes, and you guys can stand behind the curtain and carry my stuff around and stuff.

You can’t just have anything you want!

Carl

I want a drum solo!

Sheen

I want a behind the scenes documentary tracing my amazing ride to fame! While revealing several humiliating skeletons in my closet!

Augh I can’t believe I even let you two in my band!

Carl

Your band?!

Yes, my band! If it wasn’t for my instruments, you'd be blowing nose bubbles and spitting water!

Sheen

Oh, yeah?!

Yeah!

Sheen

Well, here's what I think about your stupid instruments! [he and Carl throw the instruments out the window]

Hey! You just destroyed my instruments!

Sheen

Who needs your stupid instruments when you've got my musical genius?

Carl

Oh, you're both a couple of ruddy twits!

That's it!

Hugh

[repeated line] You kids, good luck tonight! And remember, have fun with it!

Wait a minute. Sheen, Carl! What are we doing?

Sheen

Well, I was about to strangle Carl.

Carl

Yeah, and I was about to slap Sheen on the back of the head.

Look at us, we’re best friends. And ever since we started this band, we’ve been arguing and fighting. We’re so obsessed with becoming rock stars that we’ve forgotten the real reason we did this. To beat Cindy and Libby!

Yeah!!!

Miss Fowl

Llama Lords of Science wrrraaa-aa you’re on!

Sheen

We can’t go on without our instruments! They’ll laugh at us!

Carl

They’ll write unkind things about us in our yearbooks.

Can't just keep running around and around forever. Wait a minute, "running around!" That's it! If I could spin around fast enough, my mass will become less dense, and in theory, I could slip right out of my shoes! Or...I could end up a gelatinous mess splattered all over the ground. [gulps worriedly] I really hope it's the first one. [approaches the school playground and spots the roundabout] Ah, perfect! [spins the roundabout and grips his feet tightly around the center; screaming] Let's see if it's working. I'm lifting out of my shoes. IT IS WORKING! [flings himself into the air while screaming, and his shoes land on the ground, shaking]

Cindy

[sulking in disappointment] I have never been so embarrassed in all my life, and in front of Nick.

Libby

Oh, cheer up, girl. With your grades, you can transfer to any school in town.

Cindy

[threateningly] I just know Neutron's behind this. When I see him...

Sheen

We just saw a ghost!

Carl

Yeah! And it has Jimmy!

Cindy

Good, it can keep him.

Sheen

Boy, you really have some anger issues, don't you?

[coughs] Hi, guys. I'm back. And by the way, that wasn't a ghost. It was me! But once again, I've solved everything.

[disgusted] Ew...!

Cindy

I thought Nerdtron was hard to look at before, but this is disgusting!

Sheen

Yeah, Jimmy, you're totally gross...yet somehow cool. But completely nasty! Yet strangely awesome.

What are you guys talking about? [looks down at himself, seeing his molecules haven't re-assimilated yet] Oh, my molecules haven't re-assimilated.

Carl

Hey, look. [pokes him; chuckling] He's fun to poke.

Stop it, Carl!

[To Sheen who wants to put their Bodies/personalities back together} "You can't even put mashed potatoes together!"

Carl

Look! There's Jimmy's entire memory of the 3rd grade.

Sheen

And we drag that to the Jimmy side. "Supreme dislike of show-offy boys."

Libby

That's Cindy. Oh, yeah.

Carl

[tiredly] "Ability to whistle." Can Cindy whistle?

Libby

I don't know.

Sheen

We gave Jimmy rapturous enjoyment of mustard. Let's give Cindy whistling.

Carl

Let's see... "Extreme dislike of girls who dislike boys who dislike girls who dislike show-offy boys who dislike pedantic show-offy girls who dislike..."

Sheen

SO CONFUSING! TOO MANY WORDS! Just throw that one away already! [the memory with the words "Extreme dislike of girls who dislike boys who dislike girls who dislike show-offy boys who dislike pedantic show-offy girls who dislike..." is deleted; memory allocation is complete] And download. [pulls the lever]

Libby

Jimmy? Cindy? Are you finally back in your own bods again?

No! 'Cause it's all Neutron's fault!

My fault? What are you talking about?

If it weren't for Folfax, Wheezer, and Estevez, none of this would have happened, and our pants and ankles are stil different!

Well, it's also all your fault we're still each other in this jam!

Carl

[walks up to the front door of Jimmy's house; reading his letter to him] "Dear, Jimmy. I can't come with you tonight, as I have decided to join the French Foreign Legion. This is a decision I do not make likely, as I…" [notices Jimmy looking at him as he opens the front door] Hi, Jimmy. I thought you said 11:30.

Well, you'd have surely been on a plane to Algeria by then, Carl.

Carl

Sheen, the Phantom of Retroland is gonna tear us limb from limb and eat us! Say something!

Sheen

You ever notice how Jimmy's hair is like one of those gum massager things? It's all swirly and… What?!

Sheen

I wonder what order he'll eat us in.

He's kidding, Carl. No one's going to eat us. [checks the time on his wrist watch] Three, two one, midnight! Hah! We did it! We took a hypothesis, constructed a scientific protocol, and conclusively proved it false. Take that, Nick and all your ilk!

Carl

You know what I smell, Jimmy?

Victorious truth rising above the ashes of superstition?

Carl

No. [turns around, pointing to something] Salami. [Zoom out to reveal the Phantom's salami leg; screams]

Stand your ground! It's obviously a trick.

Sheen

Could you sign this, "To Sheen. With admiration and affection," please?

[as the Phantom chases them to pendulum ride] He's not real! He's a mythical construct!

Carl

Hey, better safe than swallowed, Jimmy. Oh, he'll just climb in.

Not if we're moving.

Carl

Jimmy, what about science?!

Science, science, zoopity zcience! He's outta control!

[to Carl] You've exceeded the number of llama stickers on your lunchbox!

Carl

[nervously] I know...but I... I have a special permit.

Up against the wall! Spread 'em!

Cindy

[to Jimmy] Okay, Neutron, you're outta control! I'm making a citizen's arrest!

Sheen

I want a public defender!

Libby

I... I want my music!

Carl

[cries] I want my mommy! [whimpers and then smiles] And some fudge!

[to Goddard] Red alert, Goddard! This is not a drill! This floor is on lockdown!

Sheen

[rolls dice] 7! [chuckles] Your llama is sucked into a volcanic sinkhole, where flesh-eating bats will nip at his screaming face. [eats popcorn]

Carl

Sheen, there aren't any volcanic sinkholes in Llama's Day Out!

Sheen

Maybe that explains why I'm not having fun. [eats popcorn]

[Enters] Hi, Carl. I ran out of chemicals mid-experiment and I know you got a chemistry set for your birthday?

Sheen

[rolls dice] 11!

Carl

Hey, you can use my chemistry set, Jim. [He gets his Mama's Boy chemestry set down from a shelf.] Oh, the potato's not included.

Uh, that's okay. I assume it comes with a few cc's of ethyl mercaptin?

Carl

Uh... no.

Well, I can work around that. How about some, uh... dimercural sulfonative?

Carl

Uh... yeah...? No.

Tritium nitrate?

Carl

I've got salt.

Oh, Pukin' Pluto! How's a guy supposed to make a four-dimensional Hypercube molecule without access to the complete spectrum of inorganic chemicals?!

Sheen

Welcome to my nightmare. [eats popcorn]

Carl

[Walks over carrying a leaflet] Here you go, Jimmy. Check out this leaflet from inside the box.

[reading leaflet] "Also try our Ultra-Deluxe model. Contains every element from aluminum to zirconium." Now, that's what I'm talkin' about! [suddenly blue, sighs] Aw, who am I kidding? I don't have any money, and my birthday's three months away.

Sheen

[eats popcorn] Ah, quit procrastinating, Carl, for I'm not - forget it! I'm rolling for you right now! [rolls one die and piece of popcorn] 1! [chuckles] And Carl's llama falls down. Down into the sulfurous mud pit! How the snake god will be pleased!

Carl

Hey, how could you roll the one if there are two dice?

Sheen

Huh? Oh. Yeah... [Picks up the die and popcorn; suddenly grabs throat and chokes.] Someone get me the jaws of life!

Miss Fowl

Is that you, Ernest Abercrombie?! Where is your homework?! It was 28 years overdue!

Sheen

Listen to her roar of terror!

Carl

No, that was my belly. I never ate breakfast or lunch, remember?