How could you misread your own readings?
Yeah, Neutron. I'll bet there are more rocks in your big head than there are in this stupid asteroid. What are we supposed to do now?
I don't know. We could spend years searching the rest of the belt. We'd just be wasting our time.
SheenHey, look on the bright side, guys. At least we still have our health. [bites his burrito hard; painfully] Ow! Carl, what did you put in this burrito?!
Nothing. Just some rice from the galley and some beans I found growing in the ground.
[Sheen reaches inside his mouth and pulls out a tooth]
I'll give you three seconds to get away from my ruby stash!
Sheen
What are you talking about? I was just going to the little miner's rooms.
Like you had no idea these were here.
Sheen
Hey, sweet hiding place. My rubies are over there by that strange rock formation. You made me tell! You want my rubies you jewel thief?!
Ruby madness! Ruby madness!
Will you stop shouting that?!
He tried to raid my ruby stash!
[scoffs] You told me your stash was by the rocket. You lied!
So what?! I happened to know you lied about your hiding place!
LSLibby, Sheen, and Cindy
BE QUIET!
What's wrong with you guys?! You've been fighting ever since we got rid of those stupid bandits. Are we gonna let a few priceless gems turns us into savages?
What a relief. All the changes we made don't seem to have altered the timeline. [enters the house] Mom, Dad, I'm back! [sees Hugh being put in a cage by Judy as punishment] Oh, no! We did alter the timeline! We created a world where human males are slaves to a race of female warriors!
Sheen
Oh, no! [he and Carl run out of the house to Cindy and Libby]
Have mercy, mighty overlords.
Sheen
Spare us and we shall serve you well!
[Cindy and Libby look at each other, baffled]
Sweetie, relax. I just put your father in there to keep him from annoying the townspeople. [to Hugh; sternly] Now, you were saying, Hugh?
[remorsefully] I'm sorry, honey. [Judy rewinds him with the Quantum Replay] I'm sorry, honey. [Judy rewinds him again] I'm sorry, honey.
[The device lands in Leppy's hands, and he points it at the viewers, rewinding the entire episode back to the beginning]
[Episode starts in Jimmy's lab; Jimmy is trying out his new invention, the Electro-Life to resurrect Carl's deceased, beloved goldfish, Swimmy]
Live. Live. Live! Oh, sorry, Carl. I couldn't bring your goldfish back to life.
[sniffles sadly; grieving] Goodbye, Swimmy. I'll miss you, boy.
Sheen
Why must the good die young?!
Now I thought re-stimulating his brain waves with my new Electro-Life device would bring him back. But I guess not.
Sheen
Jimmy, we might have a pop quiz today. Can I stimulate my brain?
[At Lindbergh Elementary School… Miss Fowl is holding a VHS tape box of Ken Burns' History of Mummies documentary which Carl screams in terror at the picture of a mummy]
Today, we will watch part one of Ken Burns' 97-hour documentary on the history of mummies.
Yawn. I'd rather chew off my own foot.
[whispering] No, I wanna check this out. My family tree goes back to Egypt. Mummies are cool.
[inserts the tape in the VCR] Butch, would you get the lights?
Sure thing, teach. [pulls out a slingshot and shatters the lights off]
[annoyed with hand in face] Thank you.
I don't wanna see videos of mummies. I wanna see real mummies!
Oh, I don't. They might rise from the dead and attack us!
[Miss Fowl presses a button on the remote, turning on the TV; As the documentary starts, she and all the other students (minus Jimmy and Cindy) immediately fall asleep]
NNarrator
"Dear Ahmadiyya, today I moved a one-ton boulder across the broiling desert sands. Then I had lunch. Then they cut my tongue out."
[gazes at a drawing of Egypt] What am I doing sitting here? I'm a science genius. [turns around to his friends] Who's up for a quick trip to Egypt?
What could be more boring than going with you to Egypt?
NNarrator
"Tonight, it is my turn to tell stories around the fire. This will be difficult without my tongue."
[makes up her mind] Let's roll.
[The kids all tip-toe quietly out of the classroom and into the hallway]
[quietly] I'll go home and get my hover car and meet you guys in back of the school. [runs off]
But, what if we get caught?
Sheen
We're not gonna get caught.
Guys, we can't leave school! It's ditching, and it'll go on our permanent record!
Sheen
Carl, how many times do I have to tell you? Your permanent record is just a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster or North Dakota.
[Jimmy then arrives in his hover car]
[as his friends climb in] All aboard for Egypt!
Did you guys know I'm related to Cleopatra?
No. Why don't you tell us a fact for the ten-millionth time?
Sheen
I'm related to the guy that invented baseball.
Sheen
Oh, wait, did I say baseball? I meant spray-on-eyebrows.
This better not be like the time you took us to the center of the earth and all we found was a bunch of hot dirt.
Oh, come on, guys. This is going to be a great adventure. We're going to find the lost tomb of Queen Hazabataslapya.
[The gang arrives in Egypt and Jimmy searches everywhere for Queen Hazabataslapya's lost tomb, but it's nowhere to be found]
Jimmy, I've been saying, "Toot Van Halen" for 3 hours. Can I stop now?
Way to go, Neutron. You haven't found anything. I'd rather be in school.
[disappointed] I don't understand it. I can't seem to find the lost tomb.
Duh! That's why the call it the "lost tomb," not the, here-it-is tomb: "come inside and have a milkshake."
Oh, Swimmy loved milkshakes.
Let's go home. I need to apply some emergency skincare products.
And so ends another chapter of the boring and stupid adventures of Jimmy Neutron.
But, guys, we're here in an exotic, distant, foreign land. We might as well have some fun.
Fun? Yeah, right. Let's have a party in this beautiful spot.
Sheen
Uh, Jimmy? Where's the bathroom? All I see is sand, and I'm not a cat.
What's the matter with Jimmy?
Sheen
He's got desert fever! Curse you, cruel desert! You've taken another victim in your sandy clutches! We must put him out of his misery.
Sheen
There's only one way.
Let's have an Egyptian Beach Party!
Sheen
I'm in.
Always be prepared for any eventuality.
All my life I wanted to go an authentic Egyptian Beach Party!
[After surviving a sandstorm, Jimmy gasps in surprise at something as Cindy scolds him]
[annoyed] Okay, Neutron, once again, you blew it, big time… [knocks Jimmy's head] Hey, Jumblehead, I'm yelling at you. [snaps her fingers in front of his face] Pay attention. What are you looking at?
[turns her head] The entrance to the lost tomb of the Queen Hazabataslapya.
Sheen
You think there's a bathroom in there?
[pushing the doors open] We shall now enter the lost tomb and see what has been unseen for 3,000 years.
Shouldn't we like, call National Geographic or Harvard?
Spice jars! If we can gather up enough kaffir lime leaves and dry mustard powder, I can ignite them and blow the door open!
Sheen
Where do you learn all this stuff, Jimmy?
That I learned at the library.
Sheen
Ohh. And the library is a…?
[On the other side of the wall, the snakes corner Carl, surrounding him]
[trying to make them go away; fearfully] Okay, nice snakes. Pretty snakes. Um, go away, please. Y-You don't want to bite me with your long, sharp fangs and inject poison into my blood stream. [Jimmy ignites the spice jars with his torch, blowing the wall open, making the snakes flee; Carl is relieved] Thanks, guys. I thought I was gonna be snake food.
[having enough] Okay, this field trip is over. How are you gonna get us out of here, Mr. Tour Guide?
[spookily] We don't want to get outta here.
Sheen
Okay, Jimmy's lost it. I elect myself leader. Everybody start crying and yelling.
[just before they do that] No, guys. Look. The queen's burial chamber. Get ready to see a real, live mummy.
Sheen
Hey, Jimmy. Was the queen gonna have a garage sale?
The Egyptians believed in an afterlife, so they preserve their bodies and buried them with their furniture, jewelry, pets…
Sheen
[laughing] Man. Those Egyptians were a bunch of whack jobs. But just in case they're right, I'd like to be buried with my Ultra Lord collection.
Well, guys, this was fun. [laughs nervously while taking a few steps back] Okay, let's all leave in a quiet and orderly fashion, before we see something really scary, like… [bumps into a mummified body and turns around; terrified] MUMMIES!!! [runs and crashes into Jimmy, making him drop the torch, and the flame light goes out]
[The gang's eyes are shown in the dark as they start to panic]
Everybody, shh! Stand still, I'll find my torch. [accidentally touches Cindy]
Ow! That's not your torch.
Hey, Jimmy, I still got your Electro-Life thingy that makes a light. [activates the Electro-Life, lighting up the chamber so Jimmy can find his torch… and unknowingly accidentally resurrects the three mummies nearby]
Found it! [picks up the torch and lights it up] Now let's a take a look at those mummies.
[The mummies growl and look down at them]
[frightfully] J-Jimmy, the mummies are looking at us.
[as the mummies start moving their bodies] They're moving.
I did it! My Electro-Life works! I can bring the dead back to life!
Sheen
All right! You trampled all over the laws of nature! Way to go!
Yeah, terrific. Now a bunch of dead guys wrapped in toilet paper are gonna kill us.
Um, guys, I suggest we… RUN!!!
[The kids start running as the mummies chase after them]
Sheen
Jimmy, next time you invite me anywhere, remind me to say no.
Let's hope there is a next time!
[to the mummies] Hey, guys. I'm related to your queen.
So, this is how it ends. Playing hide and get killed in a tomb in Egypt.
Sheen
Why must the good die young?!
They're coming this way. [whispering] Everybody stay quiet!
Uh, Jimmy, now would be a real good time for one of your brain blasts.
Think, think… [pictures Libby and Queen Hazabataslapya looking alike; gets an idea] Brain blast! Libby, quick, I need you.
Why, Jimmy, this is so sudden!
Sheen
It's the desert love curse. Working its evil ways on Jimmy's heart.
Libby, you look like the queen. If you pretend to be her, maybe the mummies will obey your command.
[to the mummies; portraying as the queen]' I order you mummies to start sleeping for 5--
15 trillion more years! [the mummies fall asleep] Sleep tight, and don't let the scarab bugs bite.
Carl, give me the Electro-Life.
Some things should not see the light of day, for who am I, a mere mortal to alter the very laws of mortality.
Good thing we're in a tomb, 'cause you're boring us to death.
[Jimmy flings the Electro-Life aside]
Sheen
[off-screen] Hey, guys! I did it! I finally found the bathroom! [gets his head thumped; painfully] OW! Why must the good get hit on their heads again? [Later outside… the gang are all in Jimmy's hover car, ready to return to Retroville] Sayonara, cruel desert!
You know, I think I'm down with this new look. I'm gonna keep it.
[sarcastically] So, do we have to address you as "Superqueen Libby" as of right now?
[giggles] No, [jokingly] but "Your Mighty Fine Royal Marvelousness" WILL do.
Light speed back to Retroville!
[The gang returns to school and tiptoe quietly while entering Miss Fowl's classroom]
[loudly] Miss Fowl, we're back!
OOthers
[all annoyed] Carl!
[waking up along with Principal Willoughby] Where have you children been?! I want the truth, pronto!
And I'll have none of this whole "school tanning salon" mumbo-jumbo!
Sheen
Uh, did I say we were going to the tanning salon? I meant, uh… the bathroom!
Oh. Well, all right, then.
In Egypt. And Libby got to be a queen, and mummies chased us, and we discovered a lost tomb!
Sheen
If you love me, you'll finish it right now!
People, we can't quit now! It's only the 1st inning!
And Butch's team is beating us 29 to 0!
Cut with the chitty-chatty and play ball! [Sheen catches a ball Jimmy threw] Ball 8!
Sheen
Ball?! That was right down the middle. I've seen better calls at a square dance!
Jimmy's throwing lollipops. The day he throws down Broadway is the day I dance on the moon!
[Jimmy throws it and Butch hits it, sending it flying]
Oh, I wish I was a llama in a great big llama world...
AAH! THE BALL! IT'S COMING RIGHT AT ME! [hits Carl's back] Ow, my scapula.
[Ball bounces to Libby who is listening to music, and then to Cindy]
Way to pitch a really easy home run, Nerd-tron!
Sheen
PAY ATTENTION, LIBBY!
I was listening to a great song. I have priorities!
And I have back pain! Primarily around my scapula.
Can we stop, Miss Fowl? My team's tired from running around the bases so much.
Oh, I thought you'd never ask. Butch's team is the winner!
Sheen
All in favor of never playing baseball for the rest of their lives, say "Aye".
You guys are such losers!
Sheen
All those who agree with Butch?
Hey, no one calls my team losers! We want a rematch!
Sheen
NO! WHYYYY?!
Nerd-tron, are you out of your oversized mind?!
I'll show you guys that we're not losers!
Sheen
We're scary good.
Look, guys, my cousin lent me his official, major-league bat signed by Tremendous Jackson himself.
No, you can't use that. This stuff's been lucky for us. Changing now might jinx us.
Sheen
Jimmy's right, that's why I've been wearing the same underwear for the past six weeks.
That was embarrassing. I got this long sleeve shirt and my underwear too. And socks too.
If we want to keep winning, we keep using our old equipment.
Listen up everyone. I have an announcement to make today: Jimmy Neutron and his team will be going to Nagoya, Japan, for the Junior Baseball World Championships! Which just goes to show that even the worst, most untalented athletes can be great if they put their minds to it. So... sayonara.
Um... guys, I think there's something I should tell you...
Me, too. I-I hate to admit it, Neutron, but, um, we wouldn't have gotten this far without you.
Yeah, for once and probably the only time in my life I'm a wiener-- I mean, winner. See how new it is?
Sheen
My life-long dream has been to go to Japan. I can finally meet Bonzilla!
So, Jimmy, what was it that you were going to say?
AAnnouncer
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the championship game between the Retroville 9 and, from Japan, the Super Dedicated Work Team!
Oh, I can't believe we're here. I don't know how we did it.
Boy, I love this sushi stuff, whatever it is.
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius · 473 quotes
