Pork chops? I thought we agreed to stick to a budget! Pork chops aren't cheap!
Well, you know, on the way to the market, I tried to run over a cat. But they are just so darn speedy!
S1 E24Hyde Moves In
Hyde's mom is gone, and he is going downhill. I mean, he's sitting over there in the dark eating ketchup off crackers.
I ate gum off a parking meter once. But it was on a dare. I made a dollar. Man, there's some suckers out there!
Crackers and ketchup are "K" words. Which makes them naturally funny.
[laughing] Oh, my God! I can feel, like, all the molecules in my body! I'm gonna count them! One, two, three...
[playing with View-Master] You guys disgust me. Doesn't anyone care about Hyde? ...Oh my God, run Scooby! Now, run!
You know what's freaking me out? I saw Jackie sick, without makeup. And it was, like, the freakiest thing I've ever seen in my entire, entire life. Including the class trip to the sausage factory.
Ai, if I never see the inside of another cow, it will be too soon! Jerky?
Eighteen, nineteen... I have the biggest hands in the world! Dammit! One, two...
So his mom's gone, and I know he doesn't want any help. But the Donner party didn't get any help, and then they ate each other so... [to Fez] Hey, don't bogart that jerky.
Yeah, no parents would be cool! Like The Lord of the Flies!
Kelso, did you ever finish Lord of the Flies?
No. So?
Nothing. Look, what are we gonna do about Hyde? We should tell someone.
What am I gonna do about Jackie? I can't even look at her!
She's unpleasant when she's healthy, so I can only imagine how she looks like!
Hey, Kelso... Jackie's my friend. [points finger at him] And you're shallow... [looks at finger] and pathetic. And you know what else? [shows hands] My hands are huge! They're like boxing gloves. [impersonating Muhammad Ali] I am the Greatest!
Okay, champ. Whatever you—[Donna punches Eric]
S1 E25The Good Son
So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I can't, because they're both idiots.
Excuse me, Jackie, when exactly did you lose your soul?
Um, cheerleading camp.
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