Chameleon quotes from T.U.F.F. Puppy

Snaptrap

As we were saying, before we were so rudely interrupted, you can't stop us because…

Chief

Yeah, yeah. We already know your stupid plan is legal.

Chameleon

We're also going to throw a book at the baby.

Bird Brain

We're not doing that.

Snaptrap

Bad guys out!

Chameleon

[putting money in a safe vault in the wall of a motel room] This is my best plan yet! Soon, I'll have more money than I currently have! Plus, the old-lady sheep seem to really enjoy the Latin charms of Ricardo Muttonban. [disguises himself as Ricardo] Right until I take all of their money, that is! With this disguise, it's so easy to pull the wool over their eyes. Oh-ho, wow! That was clever, and it rhymed. Clever wordplay is the hallmark of comedy!

Wolf Spitzer

This is Wolf Spitzer with rich-people news. New super-easy-to-take-advantage-of socialite Lady Saggy Moneybags Wrinklesmith III is throwing a cotillion.

Dudley

[speaking in a falsetto accent] Which is a dance, and not the number that comes after a billion, like you would think.

Wolf Spitzer

This is Wolf Spitzer saying, "No one thought that." Anyway, every rich, old sheep in town is invited to Lady Wrinklesmith's yacht tonight.

Chameleon

That Wrinklesmith's face could stop a clock. [shudders in disgust] But I wonder how much she's worth?

Wolf Spitzer

In case you're wondering how much Lady Saggy Moneybags Wrinklesmith III is worth, it's--

Dudley

A cotillion dollars!

Wolf Spitzer

We've been over this. That's not a number.

Grilled panini with warm gravy, boss?

Snaptrap

Thanks, Ollie. It smells delightful. Do me a favor. Go toss Larry in the wood chipper we stole from the lumberjack wedding.

Chameleon

Looks like we're back in the wedding fashion business.

Don't be a dope, Chameleon. We've already stolen more stuff than we have room for. Right, Snaptrap?

Snaptrap

We'll have more room once you're in the bark bucket.

With the so-called power vested in me as assistant manager of the Petropolis Arcade, I, Toby Finkle, have declared Dudley and Denise the winners. [the key slips out of their hands and hits the Chameleon in the head] You might wanna wipe the key off. [holds up a sweaty palm] I have a sweating problem.

Chameleon

Oh, yes! In your face, Finkle! That's what you get when you mess with me… The Chameleon! [rips off his wig]

You? But I used my so-called authority to ban you from these primacies.

Chameleon

I flagrantly disregard your ban! And now, for my revenge!

Dudley

Revenge? I thought we were here to dance!

Chameleon

That was your thing, we're doing my thing now! [shapeshifts into a shoe and kicks Dudley into a closet; then takes out a bomb, making everyone scream and run away] Not so fast, Finkle! [grabs Toby with his tongue as he tries to escape, reels him back to the dance machine, and attaches the bomb; laughing manically] With this key, I will set the game on an endless loop, and you, Toby Finkle, will have to dance perfectly, because if you miss a step, KA-BLOOEY! Good luck keeping your job if this place blows up on your watch! [starts the game]

Dance Dance Blast the Ants!

[as the machine shows two players needed and the bomb starts to overheat] Okay, two things: One, this is a partner's game, and two, if this place blows, we're both goners!

Chameleon

Oh, right, I didn't think this through. [joins in] This is just like Denise to make bad choices! I've got to stop trying to get through life on my looks!

Bird Brain

Thank you all for coming to this diabolical debriefing.

Snaptrap

Whoa. No one said anything about taking our underpants off.

Bird Brain

I'm trying to explain the plan. We're not taking off our briefs.

Snaptrap

Oh, good. Cause that's where I'm keeping all the silverware I stole from Bird Brain.

Chameleon

Oh, remind me to never go to a dinner party at your house.

Bird Brain

Quiet, you two! Behold, my de-good-i-fier! It sucks the good right out of people. If we use it on the T.U.F.F. agents, they'll turn evil, and they'll no longer stop us from committing crimes!

Chameleon

Oh, Bird Brain, that plan is genius.

Snaptrap

I wish I could say the same about stuffing kitchen utensils under my briefs. There's a crab cracker in a very tendered spot.