Dudley Puppy quotes from T.U.F.F. Puppy

Kitty

[looking down at Keswick's feet; whispering] Whoa, he's got webbed feet.

Dudley

[whispering] What is he? [iris closes on him and opens back up] He just laid an egg!

Kitty

[confused] Wait a minute. Why is our real estate agent giving us ammunition?

Dudley

And isn't it a little coincidental that she rented us both the same office?

Kitty

[blocking Bunny's way from tiptoeing to the door; suspicious] Something tells me that she's not really a real real estate agent at all!

Dudley

For real?

[nervously clinging to the ceiling] I don't know what you're talking about. [in the Chameleon's voice] Ooh, silverfish!

Dudley

Wait a minute! I'd recognize that tongue anywhere!

It's the Chameleon!

Chameleon

Yes! [drops down on the ground, transforming back into his own self; laughing maniacally] It is I, The Chameleon! I only disguised myself as Bunny, your real estate agent, just like I disguised myself as your new field agents, Weaselman and Rodentski!

Dudley

That's easy. PETER POPPER PIPED A POT OF PURPLE PEEPERS!

Kitty

No, let me! Peter Paper peeled a pouch of plastic pappies!

Chief

Pa pa pa pa pa pee pee pa pa pee pee pa pa! [groans] Thought I nailed that. Kitty, Dudley, focus!

[in unison] Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!

[recorded] Code phrase, accepted.

Dudley

Tuff the T.O.O.T.H. mobile!

Kitty

You mean, to the T.U.F.F. mobile!

Dudley

Thought I nailed that.

Security alert. There's an elderly woman outside the building. She could be a… [stutters] criminal. Activating security blasters!

Dudley

[recognizes her] That's not a criminal. That's my mom!

Peg

[on screen from outside] Dudley, I know you're in there.

Dudley

[shrieks] We can't let her find out I'm a secret agent! If she knows I have dangerous job, she'll make me quit!

Peg

Dudley, what's really going on? [firmly] And don't lie to your mother.

Dudley

[looks at everyone, then gives in] All right, Mom, the truth is, I'm a… [tears up] secret agent.

Peg

[gasps in shock as the interior of T.U.F.F. Headquarters is changed back to its original state] WHAT?! Absolutely not, young man! That is a dangerous job and I won't allow it! [grabs him by the ear] You're coming home with me right this instant.

Peg

[as her son handcuffs Bird Brain while Kitty holds him] That'll teach you to mess with my son, he's a big time secret agent. And this is his lazy secretary, Mitzi.

Bird Brain

Oh, really, then I shall take a latte and a blitz.

Dudley

Make that two, Mitz.

Peg

Don't hold your breath.

Kitty

Dudley, I know you're trying to catch a giant robot, but you have to be more careful.

Dudley

There's a giant robot? I was just chasing down that ice cream truck. [looks up] Hey, what do you know? There is a giant robot. I bet that thing gets, like, no mileage. [rips off steering wheel] Kitty, take the wheel!

Dudley

Oh, no! Someone's stealing circles of ice! Why?

Chief

Yeah, uhh, I'm gonna talk to Agent Katswell now. [to Kitty] Someone's stealing the world's great figure skaters! I need you two to go undercover as skaters and find out who's responsible.

Dudley

On it, Chief! Kitty and I will figure out who's stealing those ice circles.

Kitty

Uh, I'll explain to him in the car.

Dudley

[comes out of the ladies' room, disguised as Tiffany Rose Amber Heather] How do I look, Kitty? I used your razor to shave my legs, and my back, and that guy. [points to a shaved, shivering ape] I may have gotten a little carried away. Here.

Kitty

[disguised as Vince] You can keep it.

Tiffany Rose Amber Heather, that was amazing! [Kitty throws up] And you threw up. If you're half that good in the finals, you'll take first place.

Dudley

Oh, thanks, Dorothy! I've dreamed of this day ever since I shaved my legs and that guy with Vince's razor.

Dudley

Kitty, my plan worked! The bad guys came after us!

Kitty

Okay, now what do we do?

Dudley

That was all I had. You know, you can contribute sometimes.

Kitty

Wait. Snowflake and Slush? You're the bad guys?!

Dudley

The old lady must've put them up to it!

No, Tiffany. [walks over to a trophy case as her and Slush's true colors are revealed] You see, Slush and I haven't won a skating competition. Mostly because Slush is dumber than a box hair. And I know. 'Cause I skated with a box of hair. AND IT WAS SMARTER THAN HIM! But then the hair went solo and left me hanging. The only way we could win is to eliminate everyone who's better than us. And with all y'all skaters out of the way, we're the best team left. That means the trophy is ours!

Dudley

Someone's gonna find us eventually. And when they do, you two and your old lady mastermind are going down!

I know it's gonna find the end of y'all. [takes out a 5-minute timer radish-shaped bomb, cackles evilly and crazily, then coughs; sets the bomb down on the ground and activates it] This bomb is set to go off in five minutes, just enough time for us to win the trophy, and get out of here. Come on, Slush! We got some skating to do.

Kitty

It's all over, Snowflake! In the name of the Turbo Undercover Fighting Force, you are under arrest!

Dudley

[drops in, dragging in the innocent old lady turtle] We got the whole team now!

Kitty

Ma'am, your free to go. I'll explain it to him in the car.

Dudley

I learned a lot in the car. [makes a goofy, dumb face] I like the car!

Dudley

Guys, Snaptrap gave me this Doomy award for stealing shrimp! [hears a ticking sound, revealing the award is a bomb] Ooh, it's ticking!

Kitty

[alarmed] RUN!!!

Chief

Agent Katswell, what's the status on Agent Puppy's trip to the vet?

Kitty

Dudley has a rash, and the doctor put a cone around his neck to keep him from scratching. He's really embarrassed about it, so don't mention it.

We're T.U.F.F. agents. "Discretion" is our… [stutters] middle name. [Dudley appears, wearing a large pink cone around his neck; shocked] HOLY COW! He looks like a snack bowl with paws!

Kitty

[offended] Keswick!

Dudley

It's fine, Kitty. I'm okay with the cone. It's kinda awesome. [looks at his reflection, then whimpers and fills up the cone with his tears] WHO AM I KIDDING?! I HATE THIS CONE! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE SCRATCH MY RASH?!

[all horrified at Dudley's butt rash; in unison] NO!

Chief

My eyes!

Dudley

Okay, just stand there, and I'll rub my butt up against you.

Chief

Keswick, activate the rash shield!

Dudley

Is someone making a raspberry chocolate bundt cake… [sniffs] With farm fresh eggs from the north shore of New Zealand?

Chief

Incredible! That's the exact recipe I got of off Snaptrap's blog! Hey, he may be the leader of D.O.O.M., but he's a wizard with desserts. Check out this recipe for evil fruitcake.

Kitty

Whoa! According to his blog, Snaptrap has an invisibility helmet.

Chief

Even worse, he took down the recipe. Oh, I hope he left his joke of the day.

Dudley

[rubbing his rashy butt up against a light switch, flickering the lights on and off] If Snaptrap could turn himself invisible, there's no telling what diabolically evil crimes he could commit.