Lo? Lo? LO! [Lo moans] It's amazing, I leave for one day, and you manage to trash the place. [Ty opens the blinds]
It's too bright! [Ty looks out the window, shocked] It was just a little party. It will all be cleaned by the time they get home.
I think you better see this.
See what? [Ty turns on the television]
MNMale Newscaster
Last night a luxury hotel was turned upside down, as what has been described as an end of the school year party gone awry.
Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no! [Lo's phone rings; she picks it up]
GGuy
That party last night was—
Hey. Can't talk right now. Is there any way Dad won't find out about this?
So where are you guys working anyway? I'm working in the dining room!
DR, nice decent tip potential!
[describing his job title] You are lookin' at the head of Water Sports and Surf Instruction.
Then it's not your job, [pulls out a letter] I got this in the mail last week!
[looking at the letter] Okay, there has to be some kind of mistake— [hands the letter to Johnny] they said it was practically guaranteed!
[looking at the letter] Looks legit! They do this all the time, move staff around. You'll get used to it.
That's so unfair! So what am I supposed to do?
Let me check! [pulls out his radio] Hey boss, just checking the employee posting for Fin McCloud?
Yeah, hold on! [reading the posting] Fin McCloud! Uh, that's housekeeping!
A maid? No! Oh no! Okay, I don't even clean my own room!
Your new roommate, Lo! Other room smells like skunk!
[notices Lo's luggage] That's a lot of stuff! You lugged it all here with you?
I only had to come from the penthouse!
Oh, wait. You're the Lo whose huge party we spent all day cleaning up after? We didn't get to surf because of you!
Well, that's kind of your job, isn't it?
How long did you say you'd be staying here?
Not very long! My dad went Outer Limits about my party and is like, trying to teach me a lesson or something. I'm totally cut off! He's actually making me work in the dining room.
I know, right? So it's cool if I crash here?
Yeah, sure! Knowing you're being tortured for trashing the place kinda makes me feel better about having to clean it. [Emma sees her door and cries] Hey, what's wrong?
Oh, my room has been declared an environmental hazard.
Come on; you're officially staying with us.
Really? [sees Lo] Who are you?
[seeing Emma in her uniform] Oh my gosh, that is so bad!
[about her uniform] I really have to wear this?
[carrying Fin's uniform] It's an authentic wench costume dating back to the 1800s.
[seeing her uniform] Okay, this is so lame! I'd rather wear the wench thing.
[pulls back the curtain] Consider yourself lucky.
[to Fin] Well, research shows that guests prefer their housekeepers to look neat and respectable. It makes them feel like you won't actually steal their possessions. [Fin gasps]
[coming from the boy's side] This is really itchy!
[spotting Emma] Arr, little wench, fetch me some cola or I'll make ye walk the plank!
[about Reef's uniform] At least I don't look like a preppy little momma's boy.
[Bummer, Broseph and Emma laugh]
She's right, dude; you do.
[seeing Fin in her uniform] Yikes! Now that is bad!
[about Reef's phone] Do it and you lose it! This is so humiliating!
[sarcastic] Yeah yeah yeah, life's unfair, Daddy doesn't love me, blah blah blah. '[throws the name tags over his shoulder] Here are your name tags; you are required to wear them at all times.
ZZack
[to Broseph] Hey, aren't you the dude who drove the Jeep into the pool last night? That was awesome!
[to Bummer] I have no idea what that guy is talking about, bro.
LLance
Did you see me get barreled?
I definitely saw you get worked!
LLance
They don't call it the Office for nothing, dude! (All the seniors laugh)
KKelly
Come on, guys; it's almost seven. Time to haze some grom butts!
Right, the grand tradition of grom initiation. So how many we gonna let through this year?
To surf the Office, I vote none!
LLance
You said it, dude!
You know, we were groms once, and our seniors let us through.
More groms equals less waves for me, equals an unhappy Ripper.
KKelly
I don't even surf; I just want to give them a hard time! [smacks her fist into the palm of her hand in anticipation]
LLance
[about the new employees] We still get to torture them, right?
Oh, definitely—humiliate away.
Your board is being freshly waxed as we speak. Where's young Broseph?
Yeah, he's not gonna wanna continue living after today for real.
Nice, one less grommet on my waves!
[throws his voice making coughing sounds, alerting Broseph about Ripper] Just Mr. Smith, one of the guests always in the bathroom. Do not recommend going in there right now. So uh what else you have plan for Broseph?
We just came up with the perfect idea for Broseph, the suit. [lifts up a smelly orca costume]
Ugh, that costume reeks! You know last week someone puked in there. I don't think anyone's ever cleaned it out.
Exactly! This is where we separate the men from the groms. I better go check on Reef! [exits]
[walks to the front desk] That's my suit from last week! [exits crying]
Nah nah, I'm not wearing that, bro!
I don't have a choice, man; I have to make you wear it!
That's cool; maybe I'll tell Emma about your mad crush on her.
Oops, can't find the suit.
'[bumping fists with Johnny] My man!
As your first surf coach, I feel like I should tell you this is not cool, bro.
The Office is our secret surf spot!
Yeah, it's not for kooks, tourists or cute guys who could probably surf way better than me! (Everyone stares at him) Uh, strike that last comment from the record!
Guys, he's not a kook! Anyway he's just one guy!
SShep
Killer beach, dudes! Um, everything okay?
Surf instructor reporting for duty! Any sweet macking honeys ready to get hot for teacher?
JJohhny
Reef, this is your surf student, Mr. Chester Grizzle!
CChester
Let's do this thing!
Him! But that dude's a dude, and he's old, and a dude!
CChester
[hits Reef on the head with his cane] Kids these days—no respect!
Indeed, sir, no respect at all!
[laughs] Yeah I get it, prankin' the new guy; good one, dudes, but seriously, where the honeys at?
You will show Mr. Grizzle the finest surf instruction available. [hands Chester a staff e-val] Here's a staff evaluation form sir. Now don't you hold back!
CChester
Heh, I'm going to enjoy this!
Man, this is total ca-ca!
CChester
Attitude, zero out of ten!
Okay, okay grandpa, let's catch some white wash.
Guess what movie the Kahuna is screening?! Break Point!
You asked him to show it?
More like bribed: I promised I'd clean his bus.
Wow, you're kind of obsessed with this whole Reef stealing lines thing.
What do you care what he does?
It's for the good of womankind.
[teasing] Whatever, you totally looove him; you want to marry him and have, like, a hundred of his surfer baaabies!
What, are you serious? No! He is such a tool: he's like the whole tool shed.
[gasps] You do like him, and you're jealous of that girl Blair!
You wanted to kiss him; admit it!
I'd rather kiss a dead fish!
Um, you're cleaning a bus for him?
No, I'm doing this because girls shouldn't have put up with cheesiness from guys, especially stolen cheesiness. It's time us girls said no to the cheese. No to the cheese guys!
Wow, that was almost convincing!
Yeah, you definitely like him!
[behind Reef at the movie] Oh! Reef, look! It's Bell's Beach! Hey, didn't you surf there? How did you stay on your board, even when Boardizafa couldn't?
[curtly, sounding unimpressed as Fin grins at him] You're getting some kind of sick enjoyment out of this, aren't you?
[whispering] You have no idea! [smirks at Reef]
Wait! You knew Break Point was playing tonight, didn't you? [gasps] You got the Kahuna to run it! I am so getting you back for this!
[mocking] I'm so scaaared! [giggles]
Oh, it has been an honour, sir! Oh, ho! Now, don't forget your giftbag.
SSeymour
Ah! Oh, well, thank you. Well, this hotel is fantastic and your staff is absolutely top-drawer.
I'll be sure to tell them... ♪ On my way to upper management! ♪
SStanley
Not soon enough! I have been ignored and abused by your staff all weekend! This is the worst hotel I've stayed at, and I've been to Siberia!
OK, um... how will you be paying?
SStanley
You expect me to PAY?! Fine! Just charge it to my company card!
OK, Mr... [reads the name on the card] "Stanley Stevens of Luxury Vacations Magazine"?! Will you... excuse me for one moment?
[Seymour and Bummer laugh]
Oh, that's a good one, Mr. S! [chuckles]
Uh, Andrew? [whispering] Andrew!
Not now, Johnny. And your stay is on us, of course.
SSeymour
Oh! Well, that seals it, OK? This truly is the greatest hotel in the universe!
Sir, you are too kind, oh! I cannot wiat to read your review.
SSeymour
Review? What review?
[nudges Seymour's left arm with his shoulder] Oh, Stanley Stevens, you lovable joke-meister, you, heh-heh. Your review? In Luxury Vacations Magazine?
SSeymour
Um, there must be a mistake. I'm SEYMOUR Stevens, stamp collector.
[his left eye twitches before he wheezes] Huh? What?
[whispering] We got the wrong Mr. Stevens!
[grabs Johnny's shirt and yanks his close] Where's the REAL Mr. Stevens?
He went home early. He was kinda... unhappy with the service.
[releases Johnny and collaspes to his knees; Johnny covers his ears] NO-O-O-O-O!
SSeymour
Uh, do I still get to keep the bag?
[via megaphone] Attention staff! People, we've got a code red! I've just received word that a very, very, very, very, very important person will staying at the hotel this weekend: none other than the one and only Mr. Stevens! [groms remain silent] Stanley Stevens! Editor of Luxury Vacations Magazine! a.k.a. the world's toughest travel critic! [the groms still have no idea] His review will make or break this! If we get a ten out of ten, it will put this hotel on the map and put me in line for a major promotion! [dances] I got the moves, got the moves yeah! Therefore I order all of you to give Mr. Stevens the absolute best this establishment has to offer—the finest food, the silkiest sheets, the most pristine pool, and a room in the royal suite!
[whispering] That's the best room in the hotel—after Daddy's penthouse!
For the next 48 hours, we are in V-V-V-V-VIP mode! There will be no slacking off! If you're not on duty, you're helping someone who is! Anyone who messes this up for me is looking at a big fat strike! Any questions?
Can me and Broseph get the weekend off to catch a seriously sick wave?
[using a megaphone] Not a chance, punk! Now people, let's get prepped!
So, how's the ship treating you?
If this were a real ship, I'd drown myself by now.
Yeah, I wouldn't want to work here either. [he hits the table, knocking over everything]
Reef, I just set that table!
No, not my bird napkins! Those took me a half hour to fold!
I can fold these for you, [folds the napkin into a ball] see?
She said a bird, not a turd! [exits]
Reef, do you mind if we hang out after our shifts? I want to finish resetting so I can get a surf in.
Yeah, no worries. I should go check on Fin anyway. She's probably dying out there without my expertise!
Lo, are you in there? Kelly's looking for you. [sees Fin putting up her uniform] Oh no! Did you get fired?
Nope, I'm the new surf instructor!
That's great! [notices Fin's worried expression] Isn't it?
I can't teach! I taught my little my brother how to ride a bike—he's the only one in grade six with a limp!
Come on. You taught me how to nose ride this morning!
That's different; you're no pressure! What if I drown a guest?
This is the job you came here for! You're a natural! [Fin looks sad] Or maybe Reef's just a much better surfer than you are!
Yeah, in his dreams! Okay, there's nothing that guy can do that I can't!
Okay, okay, I can teach surfing too! Thanks, Emma; your lessons are always on the house.
You're wearing your bikini?
Yeah, I ran out of undies.
Didn't anyone show you the staff laundry hut?
Yes, but I hate doing laundry. I decided to live my whole life in my bikini!
Eww, that's kind of gross!
What? It gets clean in the ocean.
Nice hair, want some scissors?
[after Reef Splashes water on her] Thanks!
Oh, they've come up with this great new invention; it's called a towel.
Where were you?! Obviously not catching up on your beauty sleep!
[notices a magazine in Fin's hands] Is that the new Stoked Magazine?
[holding up the magazine] Yes! Blaine Dixie scored the cover.
[takes the magazine] So, what's the big deal?
It's a big deal because girls almost never score the cover of surf magazines.
That's because they suck compared to guys!
[the girls gasp]
[shows the centerfold page he is looking at] Now, that I would put on the cover!
Please tell me you'll never procreate! [motions for Lo and Emma] Come on, girls! [they walk off, noses in the air. Johnny runs to catch up with the girls]
Hey, for the record, I think girls are pretty much better at everything.
Aww! See, that's why you'll have a girlfriend!
So you think I'm boyfriend material?
Definitely! [gasps] You should ask Samantha from the golf course out.
[disappointed] Yeah, yeah, I'll do that!
[laughs] So deep in the friend zone!
