Stargate SG-1 · Season 10
[after meeting with Woolsey]
How's it going sir?
Longing for the days when I actually carried a weapon. What do you got?
A crazy idea.
I'm down with crazy. I like crazy. Crazy and I are like... that.
Cam likes crazy too.
Listen, if what Jackson is saying is true, there is an Ori ship out there with a near-complete weapon on it that could prove useful against the Ori. I think we should go after it.
You're right. That's crazy!
[Woolsey walks into the room Daniel is being hold in aboard the Odyssey]
No gun. Hm. Did you bring lethal injection, high voltage, or you're just gonna have them beam me out into space?
[O'Neill and Landry are walking through the conference room in the SGC, chatting. Suddenly, a startled Woolsey is beamed into the SGC briefing room. O'Neill and Landry consider him briefly, then O'Neill turns to Landry]
I thought we fixed it so that wouldn't happen again. [he is beamed out]
[Daniel beams O'Neill onto Odyssey's bridge]
... Daniel?
Jack.
What's up?
Oh, I'm taking the ship.
[looking around] Oh I see that.
Yeah I, I beamed the crew safely to the surface.
Nice for them.
But as you probably figured out by now, I'm going to need you.
You know, I was just thinking how much I missed being needed.
[SG-1 is under fire from Ori soldiers]
All right fellas, here's the deal! We are commandeering this ship! We'd like for you to throw down your weapons and surrender, please! [Mitchell barely dodges a staff blast] That's a no.
[sighing] Yep, just like old times. Except I'm here against my will, and you look like Marcel Marceau.
Yeah, you know, some things change, but others stay the same.
Very good. Why'd you bother giving me the intel if you were going to bust out anyway?
Well, obviously I'm improvising at this point. I had no idea when or even if I was going to be able to overcome the effects of the anti-Prior device. Time was running out. Adria's gonna notice my absence and become suspicious. So sending the rest of SG-1 to get the device was my only choice at the time.
Then why do this now?
Because I'm afraid the rest of the team won't be able to complete the mission without me.
Gen. O'Neill [snidely]: Oh, aren't we full of ourselves?
That, and I wasn't about to let Woolsey freeze me.
That I understand.
Yeah.
[assembling the weapon] Okay, I think that's about it.
Hang on. What's this?
[dismissively] Oh, I'm not sure about that one.
See! There is always a widget left over.
I thought you were always one short?
Well you'd think both was impossible, but it's not.
Right... Actually, I'm pretty sure that's the timing crystal that sets the detonation of the weapon five minutes after it's inserted.
Right. Hold on that. [into radio] Carter, status?
[into radio] Vala, Cam, we're moments from exiting hyperspace.
Roger that. We're almost done here...Check that, uh, Vala's almost done. I still have my doubts.
[Daniel is back to normal]
No, it’s me. Merlin’s gone. He sacrificed himself for this to work.
Yeah? Prove it.
[Daniel makes a motion like a Jedi Mind Trick]
What the hell was that?
If I was Merlin, you would know.
[into intercom] Carter, Sunshine [Daniel] is awake.
That's good, is he okay?
Well, he's grumpy.
Can you ask him how he managed to cloak this ship?
[Mitchell looks at Daniel, and Daniel shrugs]
He says magicians don't reveal their secrets.
Intel looks good, we've got ourselves a space train full of evil Orville Reddenbacher.
[Vala is explaining her "relationship" with Mitchell to Mitchell's parents]
Well, I mean at first it was just sex, sex, sex, in all rooms of the house at all times of the day! But uh, well, once we got a chance to get to know each other, we formed a deeper connection. A spiritual bond, you might say.
Now, I can’t remember, did you go to GW?
Oh, I didn’t attend school. As much as I was sold as a domestic servant to a weapons smuggler named Firenze. After I killed him and won my freedom, I considered my education more or less complete.
And you might have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for us meddling kids.
How many times have you been married, anyway?
Legally? Hmmm, well, it’s hard to keep track. Let’s see. The first one was a part of a band of traveling entertainers. He was a good cook, too. Couldn’t make pie though.
You know, forget it. Forget I asked.
We're stuck.
No we're not!
[Everyone looks at Vala]
Well, when we fail to make the scheduled check-in, General Landry will dial in, at which point we'll ask him to send a naquadah generator and a laptop with a dialing program and that's that!
We knew that! I-I-I thought that when I said that we're stuck, that you would know that I meant "until then."
Well, then you should say what you mean.
I don't think you want me to start doing that.
I don't think you want to start thinking what I think.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
