TV show quotes
How many times have you been married, anyway?
Legally? Hmmm, well, it’s hard to keep track. Let’s see. The first one was a part of a band of traveling entertainers. He was a good cook, too. Couldn’t make pie though.
You know, forget it. Forget I asked.
We're stuck.
No we're not!
[Everyone looks at Vala]
Well, when we fail to make the scheduled check-in, General Landry will dial in, at which point we'll ask him to send a naquadah generator and a laptop with a dialing program and that's that!
We knew that! I-I-I thought that when I said that we're stuck, that you would know that I meant "until then."
Well, then you should say what you mean.
I don't think you want me to start doing that.
I don't think you want to start thinking what I think.
[checking his watch] So, therefore, next check-in is in just under six hours.
Good. Muscles, that means that we have time to go to the party.
[She starts to walk away until Mitchell's voice stops her.]
No, it does not! It means we stay here out of sight and remain as inconspicuous as possible. With a bit of luck, the people on this planet will never even know we were here.
[The couple who had left the party before arrive in the gate room and are now just a few feet away from the team. They begin kissing intensely.]
[pushing him away for a moment] Don't. tell Hesellven, she is like a sister to me.
Never.
[They resume kissing. They stop and begin to walk toward the gate, where they finally see the team. Mitchell waves casually.]
Hi. There's nothing to be alarmed about. We um—
[The woman begins screaming then turns and runs out of the room, the man following her. She is still screaming. Teal'c and Mitchell head out after them, and Vala tries to follow, but Daniel holds her back.]
How come they get to go?
[Hesellven and Sylvana are catfighting]
What the hell are you doing? Stop it!!
She started it!
Hah! I think you started it when you kissed Heron.
[exasperated] Shut up! Shut up! You’re hostages! This is like a life and death situation here! Start acting like it.
Oh, please! You’re not rebels! We’re not deaf, you know. Everyone in this room knows it.
That doesn’t matter! You’re hostages! We’re your…we’re your captors! We’re heavily armed! There’s rules! There’s a whole school of etiquette to this!
[Sylvana stares at Dr. Jackson]
[sternly] Don't eyeball me.
Excuse me. Did you really come through the Ring?
Yes, we did.
It's a portal, isn't it, to other worlds?
Yeah, I'd be happy to show you how it works, once we get it up up and running.
You want them to free your friends.
I'm sorry. What?
Your demands. If you want to pose as the rebels, the first thing they usually do in situations like this is ask for the freeing of their imprisoned compatriots.
Don't talk to them.
No, it's okay.
[Walks toward Cicero] What's your name?
Cicero. I'm a researcher here at the museum, and I believe you.
You want to get on the radio and explain that to the folks outside?
Oh, I've tried. I've suspected as much for years, I've published dozens of papers, written a book. No one listens. My colleagues think I'm a bit of a joke.
Oh, Daniel, you've found a kindred spirit.
Is that what I think it is?
No, it's a Goa'uld naquadah bomb.
For the record, that's what I thought it was.
Yes, I'm sure you did. Well, it seems in pretty good shape. If it's real, and if the naquadah core is intact. I assume these cases are connected to the security system?
Yes.
So, you can't get into the case.
You won't be able to access it without a security-card.
And you have one of those, no?
Not for these exhibits, no.
Well, not to worry. You happen to be standing next to one of the best thieves in two galaxies.
[Turns to Mitchell] Ah!
No, not him.
Murderous rebels, come in please.
Speaking.
[Jayem, a night guard of the museum, points a gun at Mitchell and Vala, and demands the freeing of the hostages]
Jackson.
Mitchell, what's going on?
Well, we've got ourselves a bit of a John McClane here.
Wha-what are you talking about?
[walking past Daniel] Die Hard.
You're crazy!
Did you ever meet a sane rebel?
(Vala is attempting to power the stargate with a Goa'uld bomb.)
There's a 70% chance that if we dial manually we'll be able to establish a connection, and a 50% chance the bomb will just go off.
That a 120%.
Well there's some crossover where we establish a wormhole and it blows up.
[on the radio] Jackson, did you catch any of that?
Yeah, 100% chance we should have brought someone who knows what they're doing.
In that case, there are some things you should know. The Ori do not ascend their followers. Arkad is a coward who will die by my hand. Also, I have planted an explosive device in your symbiote pouch. It is set to go off within a matter of moments. It is the same type that you used to kill twelve warriors, eighteen innocent bystanders, and two children who had gathered for a peaceful summit.
They were sinners all, who chose the path of evil.
[walking away] Ten seconds.
Where are you going?
I am leaving. You are about to explode.
Well, what would be the harm in us just…whoops! failing to stop Teal'c from killing Arkad? It wouldn't be entirely on purpose and not out of…accidental incompetence either, if you catch my drift.
Yes, nudge nudge, wink wink.
How do we get Arkad to tell us all the pieces of the puzzle?
Oh, that's the easy part. See, we capture him, lock him in a room, and threaten to let Teal'c kill him.
[SG-1 has set a trap for Teal'c]
Hey Teal'c? I know you're out there. I don't know what you're thinking, but we're here to help. [Mitchell barely dodges two zat blasts] Okay, that was a lie! And, uh, I hate myself, I feel terrible about that.
You are the son I never had, I could not be more proud.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
