Samantha Carter quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

That's it, colonel.

Capt. Carter

It can't be...

Col. O'Neill

Sir, with all due respect-

Dr. Jackson

So with all due respect, the good senator is an ass.

Capt. Carter

I like what they've done with the place.

Col. O'Neill

I'm not so sure I like what the place has done to them.

Dr. Jackson

We're out.

Col. O'Neill

[leaping out of the device] Whoa! Whew.

Capt. Carter

Wait. Didn't that seem just a little too easy?

Col. O'Neill

Yes, it did. Let's go home.

General Hammond

What are you doing, Colonel?

Col. O'Neill

Ah, I'm looking for the edges of a mask.

General Hammond

What?

Col. O'Neill

You're obviously not the real General Hammond.

General Hammond

Sit down, Colonel.

Col. O'Neill

I don't think so, bucko. The jig's up, we're on to ya.

General Hammond

What are you talking about?

Capt. Carter

We're still on P7J-989.

Col. O'Neill

Oh, you betcha. This is just a new game brought to you by our good friend [Pats Hammond on the head] the Keeper.

Capt. Carter

Lately, I get this weird feeling when I'm near Teal'c.

Col. O'Neill

Hey, who doesn't?

Teal'c

The destruction of the hammer device in order to save my life may have caused this. If so, I am responsible.

Col. O'Neill

General, I gave the order.

Dr. Jackson

I fired the staff at the machine.

Capt. Carter

And I... was there.

Capt. Carter

Like some sort of booby trap?

Teal'c

[confused] Booby?

Daniel Jackson

You know, I don't think it's the artifact- he gets nervous like that every time he's around you. Maybe a crush.

Um, we're recording now.

Capt. Carter

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Daniel Jackson

Oops, hey, the artifact...

Well, believe it or not, we need your help, Dad.

Jacob

What? The Pentagon wants me to deliver a message to God when I get up there?

Not exactly.

Jacob

Well, I don't plan to see the other guy.

They were holding you prisoner, Colonel. Still are holding SG-3 and the rest of your team.

Capt. Carter

Only temporarily Sir. And they thought it was to protect us as much as them.

Col. O'Neill

...Yeah, I didn't buy that one myself, Sir.

(in a Normal Voice) Apparently, I'm the oldest and wisest among us.

Oh, geez.

Capt. Carter

Now, if we can't track the Touchstone, there may still be a way to track the second Gate on Earth.

Col. O'Neill

Oh, sure! Let's just put out an APB for a huge honkin' two-story metal ring with 39 little pictures all nicely engraved on it.

Col. O'Neill

Look, I know I should know this by now. I swear it'll be the last time I ask. These wormholes we go through, they're not always there, right?

Capt. Carter

No, sir. They can only form between two open gates.

Col. O'Neill

What's with the worm part? The worm thing. I-I don't get that.

Capt. Carter

That's just a metaphor.

Col. O'Neill

Right. I knew that.

Capt. Carter

Do you know anything about quantum gravity?

Teal'c

No.

Capt. Carter

Apparently, neither do I.

General Hammond

There's nothing we can do to save them?

Col. O'Neill

They've had it, sir.

General Hammond

You know that for a fact, Colonel?

Col. O'Neill

No, sir, I don't. But have a look at Major Boyd's face. What does that tell you?

General Hammond

Very well. Disengage the Stargate.

Capt. Carter

Sir, by some fluke of Stargate technology, we are witnessing something that the laws of physics say we can't possibly witness.

Col. O'Neill

(angrily) We are witnessing good men dying in slow motion, Captain.

Capt. Carter

(embarrassed) You're right, sir.

General Hammond

Shut it down.