Samantha Carter quotes from Stargate SG-1

(in a female voice) [torturing Sam with a hand device] Once more: Where is Dr. Jackson?

Maj. Carter

He's dead.

(in a female voice) You're lying.

Maj. Carter

Go to hell.

Dr. McKay

Still sexy as ever I see.

Maj. Carter

What are you doing here?

Dr. McKay

Well, there is no point of building naquadah reactors for Russia if there isn't going to be a Russia, is there? The Pentagon thought you... might need some help.

Maj. Carter

Not from you.

Maj. Carter

Navigation?

Col. O'Neill

Check.

Maj. Carter

Oxygen pressure, temperature control?

Col. O'Neill

All Check.

Maj. Carter

Inertial dampeners?

Col. O'Neill

Cool! ...and check.

Maj. Carter

Engines?

Col. O'Neill

All check. Phasers?

Maj. Carter

(smiling) Sorry, sir.

Maj. Carter

Sir, the simulations we ran anticipated every conceivable scenario.

Col. O'Neill

You know, Carter, it's the inconceivable ones I'm concerned about.

Col. O'Neill

I thought you'd be down stairs working this thing out with all the other egg-heads.

Col. O'Neill

Not that you're an egg-head. [Pauses] OK, you are, actually, but in a good way.

Maj. Carter

I couldn't think down there. They all kept looking at me for the answer.

Col. O'Neill

Well, you do have a penchant for pulling brilliant ideas out of your butt.

Col. O'Neill

Head! Out of your head.

Maj. Carter

You have a habit of seeing things... [Hesitates]...in their simplest form.

Col. O'Neill

I'm gonna go eat some cake.

Maj. Carter

I think I'll join you.

Anubis

I am Anubis.

Maj. Carter

[to O'Neill] It looks like a hologram projection, sir.

Anubis

Humans of the Tau'ri. Your end of days finally approaches. There will be no mercy.

Col. O'Neill

[to Maj. Carter] Oh, come on. Who talks like that?

Maj. Carter

Sir, this is Asgard technology. He must have downloaded it from Thor.

Anubis

You will bow to my awesome power. There is nothing that can stop the destruction I bring upon you. Prepare to meet your doom.

Col. O'Neill

Oh, please.

Maj. Carter

They're still analyzing the flight data recorder, but it looks like a 605-3 error.

Forgive me?

Col. O'Neill

It's the one after 605-2, sir.

Dr. McKay

[about Anubis] Has a real flair for the dramatic, doesn't he? Very theatrical.

Maj. Carter

Yeah, pretty much all the Goa'uld are like that.

Dr. McKay

But, why wait? Why does this guy show up a day and a half after this all starts to do his whole "prepare to meet your doom" thing?

Maj. Carter

I don't know, maybe he wanted to make sure it was gonna work.

Dr. McKay

Yeah, that would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? [pretending to be Anubis] "Nothing can stop the destruction that I bring upon you!" And then the Gate shuts down. [again pretending to be Anubis] "Oops, sorry, never mind."

Maj. Carter

Yeah, well, that didn't happen, and we only have fifty-four hours left.

Maj. Carter

So, what? We call Anubis up and ask him to stop?

Dr. McKay

Yeah, "Hey, Anubis, this is your agent, you're playing it way over the top, can you get serious, please?"

Maj. Carter

For the record, I hate you.

Dr. McKay

Well, it can't get any worse, then, can it?

Maj. Carter

Oh, no I'm rapidly working up to despise.

Dr. McKay

Hi.

Maj. Carter

Oh, man, and I was just starting to feel better.

Dr. McKay

[takes a deep breath, appearing to be relaxing] I always wanted to be a pianist.

Maj. Carter

[Thinking McKay said "penis"] Excuse me?

Dr. McKay

A concert pianist --- you know, a guy who plays the piano [he mimes playing the piano] in front of lots of people?

Maj. Carter

[Sam smiles] Right.

Dr. McKay

What did you think I said?

Maj. Carter

Never mind.

Dr. McKay

I had a not-so-comfortable childhood. My parents hated each other. Blamed me. Music was my salvation. It had this ... perfect order for me.

Maj. Carter

[smiles, patronizing] That's nice, really.

Dr. McKay

When I was 12, my teacher told me to quit. A fine clinical player, he said, but no sense of the art whatsoever.

Maj. Carter

Why are you telling me this?

Dr. McKay

I'm just ... trying to bond.

Maj. Carter

Why?

Dr. McKay

Hospital gowns turn me on. [He smiles] I turned to science because I thought it would be different than music, but it isn't. It's just the same, it's just as much of an art as anything else.

Maj. Carter

Look, it's not your fault that the EM pulse didn't work.

Dr. McKay

You're an artist, Major. Maybe the best I've ever seen. I'm just critical because I'm jealous.

Maj. Carter

I'm touched, really. I wish I had a brilliant plan to draw up for you.

Dr. McKay

And you're funny, too. Even electrocuted. I mean, I've ... I've got nothing.

Maj. Carter

You're creeping me out, McKay.

Dr. McKay

What do you think the little alien guy's doing down there?

Maj. Carter

Bet you regret coming here now.

Jonas Quinn

Can't really look at it that way, can we?

Maj. Carter

So... what are you doing?

Jonas Quinn

You know, it's the stupidest thing, but it's been bugging me since I got here.

Maj. Carter

What's that?

Jonas Quinn

We're inside a mountain. The gate obviously can't fit through any of these doors...

Maj. Carter

So how did it get in here? The ceiling retracts. [She points] Above it is a shaft that leads to the surface, and inside is a crane mechanism that hoisted the gate down.

Jonas Quinn

Interesting. Does it go up?

Maj. Carter

They're working on lightening the 302, but that's why you're going alone. Believe it or not, every pound counts.

Col. O'Neill

I shouldn't have had that cake.

Maj. Carter

I wish I could go with you Sir.

Col. O'Neill

Yes, I'm sure you do. [Stepping in the elevator] And I find that quite bizarre.

Dr. McKay

[thrilled] That means you don't hate me.

Major Carter

Maybe. Too bad for you.

Dr. McKay

Why?

Major Carter

I was more attracted to you when I did.