Daniel Jackson quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

I'm telling you, I am absolutely fine. There is nothing cruvus with me!

Col. O'Neill

What?

Dr. Jackson

You just said there's nothing "cruvus" with you.

Col. O'Neill

What? No I didn't.

Dr. Jackson

Yes, you did.

Col. O'Neill

I did not.

Dr. Jackson

Yes, you did.

Col. O'Neill

Didn't.

Dr. Jackson

Did.

Col. O'Neill

Didn't.

Dr. Jackson

Did.

Col. O'Neill

[annoyed] Cruvus?! What is that?!

Col. O'Neill

I'm back.

Dr. Jackson

What happened?

Teal'c

Do you still possess the knowledge of the Ancients?

Col. O'Neill

Nope. Don't remember a thing. [To Daniel] But ya know that meaning-of-life stuff?

Col. O'Neill

I think we're gonna be alright...

Col. O'Neill

Which is he?

Dr. Jackson

I don't know, but his portion of Tuat, or the otherworld, was filled with lakes of fire, where the wicked were thrown into as punishment after torture and mutilation.

Col. O'Neill

Hell.

Dr. Jackson

Yeah, basically, he was the original Satan.

Col. O'Neill

Well, isn't that special?

Col. O'Neill

Describe for me... the dress your sister wore last week when I took her out.

Dr. Jackson

[In Ma'chello's body] I don't have a sister, Jack. And if I did, I wouldn't let you near her.

Dr. Jackson

Déjà vu.

Teal'c

I am unfamiliar with that term.

Dr. Jackson

It means, "I feel like I've been here before."

Teal'c

That is correct, Daniel Jackson. Yesterday, when we first arrived on this planet.

Dr. Jackson

[Pause] Right. What was I thinking?

Dr. Jackson

Well, I have to admit this is one of the stranger cultures I've ever seen. As far as I can tell, they're communal, but there's very little sign of actual social communication. I haven't seen any tools or signs of a functional civilization.

Col. O'Neill

So they're a little less evolved than we are.

Dr. Jackson

Well, we don't wanna jump to any conclusions. Remember the Nox.

Capt. Carter

And they did build these...homes.

Col. O'Neill

That's a kind appraisal. What about the UAV?

Dr. Jackson

Well, I've tried everything I know about rudimentary communication, and to be honest, I've had more successful conversations with dogs.

Col. O'Neill

So...

Dr. Jackson

So they're probably a little less evolved than we are.

Dr. Jackson

Can you do me a favor? Could you keep an eye on this plant thing for me?

Teal'c

I will keep both of my eyes on it, Daniel Jackson.

Col. O'Neill

Well, we're not gonna stand around doing nothing.

Dr. Jackson

We're not doing nothing.

Col. O'Neill

You're videotaping a plant.

Dr. Jackson

Well, I think this might be important.

Col. O'Neill

Well, I think you might be losing what's left of your mind.

Dr. Jackson

[Pause] ... What's that supposed to mean?

Col. O'Neill

It means that on a good day, you can be a little flaky.

Dr. Jackson

And on a good day you can be a little ignorant and condescending.

Col. O'Neill

Not condescending. You're obviously misreading a basic philosophical difference in opinion on how to handle a crisis.

Dr. Jackson

Oh, please! We have a-a difference of opinion on just about everything.

Col. O'Neill

Gimme an example.

Dr. Jackson

I dunno, pick something! How about -- how about mythology?

Col. O'Neill

Rumors, lies, fairytales.

Dr. Jackson

[Finally losing it, jumping around in a frustrated circle] Y'see?! See? See? See? See?? See?? Mythology is one of the primary motivations for cultural development!

Col. O'Neill

Maybe it is; what's that got to do with filming a plant?!

Dr. Jackson

Exactly!

Col. O'Neill

What does that mean?!

Dr. Jackson

I don't know!

Dr. Jackson

Y'know I thought the alien on the video looked fairly docile, more curious than harmful.

Col. O'Neill

I thought it looked... bald, white and naked.

[in Russian] Вы советские шпионы? [Are you Soviet spies?]

Dr. Jackson

[in Russian] Нет. [No.]

Col. O'Neill

Daniel?

Dr. Jackson

He just asked if we were Soviet spies… oh.

Col. O'Neill

Nyet?!

Col. O'Neill

Or…

Capt. Carter

I can't think of an 'or' at the moment, sir.

Dr. Jackson

No 'or'?

Col. O'Neill

There is an 'or'.

Dr. Jackson

There's an 'or'?

Capt. Carter

Sir, you can't just will something to happen because you want it to be a certain way.

Col. O'Neill

Captain, where there's a will, there's an 'or'... way.

Dr. Jackson

So what's the plan?

Col. O'Neill

Find the Stargate.

Dr. Jackson

Find the Stargate? That's the plan?

Col. O'Neill

Elegant in its simplicity, don't you think?

Dr. Jackson

We'll go in disguise; pretend to be foreigners.

Col. O'Neill

How are you going to do that?

Dr. Jackson

Well, I speak twenty-three different languages. Pick one.

Col. O'Neill

It's true, Michael. We came to Earth to hide among your people a long, long time ago.

Dr. Jackson

From a galaxy far, far away.

Can you walk on that?

Dr. Jackson

It's just a deep bleeding gash, but it'll be fine.