Daniel Jackson quotes from Stargate SG-1

Vala

Look, I never killed anyone, I never tortured them, I was a wonderful god. Just ask them!

Dr. Jackson

I think we will.

Vala

Why? You don't believe me?

Dr. Jackson

That, and I'm not totally convinced they are ultimately going to follow your command, nor should that be the only reason they don't follow the Priors.

Vala

I am still supposed to be their god, I can't very well go out there and ask them if they are going to listen to me.

Dr. Jackson

I wasn't expecting you to.

Vala

What makes you think they're going to tell you the truth; you're supposed to be my faithful servant.

Dr. Jackson

Then I'll sort of explain that we're not as faithful as you might like to believe, and if necessary I'll also tell them we're plotting to kill you.

Vala

I have heard better plans!

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

I kinda like it.

Vala

Shut up!

Vala

Thank you! I apologize for ever questioning your masterful skills at negotiation!

Dr. Jackson

He's doing the best he can.

Vala

That's what terrifies me!

Dr. Jackson

Okay. We have a very limited window of opportunity here. If you expose yourself as a false god, if you tell these people how you fooled them and why, we might be able to make them skeptical about the Prior.

Vala

Or, it could push them towards believing in the Ori as true gods even more.

Dr. Jackson

No, the only chance these people have, the only chance any of us have against the Priors is to show them that we will not accept the Ori as gods. No matter what happens, we must reject them. True enlightenment must begin with the truth.

Dr. Jackson

Most of the System Lords were killed by the Replicators. Then, we defeated the Replicators.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Wow, we look cool.

General Landry

Don't let it go to your head.

Dr. Jackson

[pulling Vala's scarf off her neck] Vala, this is a military vessel.

Vala

I know, darling. I've stolen it before.

Dr. Jackson

Well, just try to be, uh…

Vala

My charming self?

Dr. Jackson

Just a little less talk; a little more shut the hell up.

Dr. Jackson

The next idea we come up with has to be outside the box.

Lt. Colonel Carter

Okay, the gate is composed of individual units. The—There must be some sort of energy linkage between them, like a—like a chain.

Vala

Exactly, so we—

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

So we need a big ol' set of bolt cutters.

Dr. Jackson

Oooh. Too far outside the box. Get closer to the box.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Witnesses?

Dr. Jackson

One. Some guy who was working overtime, spent most of the firefight under his desk, but was able to provide the descriptions of three individuals: big, tattooed, chain mail pants.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

So it's either our Jaffa, or KISS is back on tour.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[imitating Teal'c] "The Warriors of the Sodan exist, Colonel Mitchell. I am certain of it."

Dr. Jackson

Needs more bass.

Sgt. Harriman

Receiving an IDC, sir. It's Colonel Mitchell.

Dr. Jackson

You're kidding.

Sgt. Harriman

I would never do that, sir.

Lt. Colonel Carter

Huh. Maybe it wasn't our fault.

Dr. Jackson

I thought it was always our fault.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[approaching weird technology] There is someone home.

Dr. Jackson

Wa-wait!

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[touches button] What? I was looking for the light switch.

Dr. Jackson

[shining his flashlight at Mitchell] New guy!

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[indicating a computer] Hey, you touched that!

Dr. Jackson

Ah, I know how to read that!

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

So how does it work, assuming it actually does work?

Dr. Lee

You know, I keep telling myself that one of these days I'm going to do something that gets me a little respect.

Dr. Jackson

We're all waiting for that day, Bill.

It makes no difference what you do to me. But know this: The Ori are all-seeing! They are already aware of this... affront to their eminence and shall strike down those who defy them.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[shrugs] Nothing yet, you?

Dr. Jackson

Drawing a blank. [pause] A little thirsty.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

That doesn't count.

Dr. Jackson

No, it doesn't.

Their movements are not so easily divined. Their ways are unseen and veiled in mystery.

Dr. Jackson

Right, right, they have a "plan". (Mitchell makes the "air quotes" sign.) Don't suppose you want to tell us what that plan is? For example, why did they send you to this galaxy in the first place?

We are beacons on the road to enlightenment.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

No, you are dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen, but unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Dr. Jackson

Nice work on the metaphor.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Thank You.

Dr. Jackson

For starters: Did you know, the Ori need people to worship them to gain their power?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

He didn't know...

Dr. Jackson

No, he didn't know that. [to Prior] No, it's true.

Dr. Jackson

Okay, say for example we accept the possibility that this is an alternate SG-1 from a… parallel universe. How did they get here?

Lt. Colonel Carter

I got nothing.

Lt. Colonel Carter

...yet.

Lt. Colonel Carter

As we discussed the situation, we realized we could pinpoint the source of the phenomenon to a precise window, specifically, the interim journey between the two gates.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Did she just say "we?"

Lt. Colonel Carter

Pardon me?

Dr. Jackson

She said "we." You said "we?"

Lt. Colonel Carter

Ah. Uh, me and...myself, I suppose. The other Samantha Carter.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Right. Finally someone who can keep up with you, huh?

Lt. Colonel Carter

[Happily] Yup.