Daniel Jackson quotes from Stargate SG-1

Dr. Jackson

If you immediately know the candlelight is fire…

Vala

Huh?

Dr. Jackson

Nothing.

Vala

Hmmm…

Dr. Jackson

This pot says 'The universe is infinite.'

Vala

That seems infinitely useless; what does this one say?

Dr. Jackson

'The treasure is in this pot.'

Vala

Really? I was hoping for something a little more substantial, but okay.

Dr. Jackson

Wait, wait, wait!

Vala

Too obvious?

Vala

You ever heard of the Go'auld Nut?

Dr. Jackson

As in... cashew? Pea-...? [off Vala's look] Oh, you mean the Egyptian sky goddess.

Vala

Yes.

Dr. Jackson

No, never heard of her.

Vala

These were her ceremonial marriage bracelets. She would affix them to herself and her husband of the moment.

Dr. Jackson

"Of the moment".

Vala

Yes, she had many. One of the few admirable traits about her.

Dr. Jackson

[to Landry] I mean, isn't that why we're doing this, all of this? The Stargate program, the budget? Isn't it so we can go out and meet new races? Gather advanced technology? Possibly learn about ourselves in the process?

Vala

Oh, come on. You do it to meet women.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[also to Landry] She has a point, sir.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

So any one of us can take the pony ride?

Dr. Jackson

Yeah, and I figured that was going to be me. I mean, I did miss the Daedalus for this, so...

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

You're going to dine out on that for a while?

Dr. Jackson

Yeah, yeah, like you wouldn't believe.

Dr. Jackson

It says here the Alterans named their new home Avalon and built many Astria Porta.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Stargates?

Dr. Jackson

Yes.

Vala

I thought the Ancients built the Stargates.

Dr. Jackson

Well, it stands to reason that they didn't always call themselves the Ancients.

Dr. Jackson

What the hell did you say?!

Vala

I think at first it's what I didn't say. You see, apparently there's a blessing you're supposed to recite over the leaves before you drink, which nobody warned me about. Then I think it's what I did say. I was trying to politely explain what was going on and then his wife started screaming and accusing me of being overcome. At which point I believe I suggested she might want to think about procreation... with herself.

Vala

If the Ori are so powerful, why do they need people to spy for them?

The Ori need nothing from us.

Dr. Jackson

[quoting] "It is we who must seek the truth of the universe in order to achieve enlightenment."

Dr. Jackson

[shrugs] Been down this road before.

We are Ori.

Dr. Jackson

[visibly horrified] And you instruct these people to worship you?

We are their creators. All who follow the path will join us in enlightenment.

Dr. Jackson

Do you know who the Alterans are?

Those who abandoned the path are evil!

Dr. Jackson

Evil? Why?

They shielded you.

Dr. Jackson

Really. I didn't really think they did much of anything for us, but I guess I was wrong.

General O'Neill

Sorry you missed the Daedalus.

Dr. Jackson

No, you're not.

General O'Neill

You're right, I'm not.

Vala

Came to see me off? That's sweet.

Dr. Jackson

Well, we've been through a lot together. I just wanted to come here myself and make sure you were… thoroughly searched.

Dr. Jackson

He's the guy you stole the bracelets from, right?

Vala

How dare you assume that I acquired those bracelets through anything but honest means! I may have a less than perfect reputation—

Dr. Jackson

You told me you stole them!

Vala

I did?

Dr. Jackson

Yes!

Dr. Jackson

Are you messing with me?

Vala

Is it working?

Vala

Anyhow, since I'm here shall we make the best of it?

Dr. Jackson

No we shalln't.

Dr. Jackson

I can do it. Just uh, do me a favor. I need some help.

Vala

Okay, what?

Dr. Jackson

Go to the panel by the rear exit.

Vala

Okay, now what?

Dr. Jackson

Stay there, shut up, and let me finish.