Jack O'Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

Okay, next time, I'm the hologram.

Col. O'Neill

[while driving the X-302 onto the tarmac] Too bad we can't drive all the way to Abydos, this thing handles like a Cadillac on the ground.

Col. O'Neill

Next mothership we keep, okay?

Col. O'Neill

What's the matter with you guys? Time machines are nothing but trouble -- even we know that!

Col. Jack O'Neill

Someone duplicated the duplicators?

Col. O'Neill

Maybourne, have you completely lost your mind? Because if you're suffering, I'll gladly put you out of your misery.

Col. O'Neill

You know, Harry, it's not that I can't believe you lied to me again, it's that you lied to me again!

Col. O'Neill

Hey folks, how you doing? Jack O’Neill, Earth. Listen. originally we came here to rescue you. But as you can see we’ve run into a bit of a snag. So if any of you can bend steel with your bare hands or happen to be more powerful than a locomotive, just raise your hand. Identify yourselves. Let us know where you are...

Col. O'Neill

Every time I wake up in a Goa'uld cell I can't help but have the thought that something bad is going to happen.

Col. O'Neill

Well, spank me rosy!

Col. O'Neill

I thought we were going with Red Leader on this one.

Col. O'Neill

Haven't you guys heard the story about the dog and the dancing monkeys? It's about getting along and... dancing.

Col. O'Neill

Come on Teal'c, don't gimme the eyebrow!

Col. O'Neill

How many times have I told you? Don't get caught by the bad guys!

Col. O'Neill

Felger's virus? I told you not to trust that brown nosin' little weasal!