Jack O'Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

The combined IQ of Earth might go up a few points having two Carters around.

Col. O'Neill

Ladies! Sams... We're all in this... reality together.

Col. O'Neill

Ah, trees, trees, and more trees. What a wonderfully green universe we live in, eh?

Col. O'Neill

Carter, the next time I feel the urge to help someone, feel free to give me a swift kick.

Col. O'Neill

Major, next time Daniel gets the urge to help someone, shoot him.

Col. O'Neill

So.. how long you gonna keep this up? The demon bit? Don't get me wrong, looks like a great gig. You got the padre in your back pocket, the hours are good, probably get all the chicks...ahh! [Unas grabs his neck]

Col. O'Neill

Oh my apple!

Col. O'Neill

See, now, I miss that. I have no idea what he's saying, but I buy it.

Col. O'Neill

[to Jackson] Listen, I'm not saying the first woman you've fallen for since Sha're isn't a peach… but if she remembers who she is, you'll be the first to go.

Col. O'Neill

Oh my. There is a distinct lack of optimism in this room.

Col. O'Neill

(On seeing the inside of Ne'tu) Certainly not Emerald City.

Col. O'Neill

How is a needle in my butt going to get water out of my ears?

Col. O'Neill

[to the nurse] Listen, really jam it in this time, okay? [makes stabbing motion]

Col. O'Neill

I was not singing. I'd know if I was singing. I don't even know the words to 'Row, row, row…'

Col. O'Neill

[on video, singing]...life is but a dream. And row, row, row your boat gently down the stream...

Col. O'Neill

[watching the video] Okay. If you call that "singing".

Col. O'Neill

Well, look who's here. Come to retrieve your vastly superior stuff?

Col. O'Neill

Hey, Rigar, you know that "we come in peace" business? Bite me.