Jack O'Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

Well, this was an intergalactic waste of time!

Col. O'Neill

[annoyed] Daniel, how long do you figure we oughta hang out here and scratch our cosmic heads?

Col. O'Neill

Well, apparently I've lost the falatus to speak properly! [pause] That wasn't a joke. I didn't do that on purpose.

Col. O'Neill

Holy...buckets.

Col. O'Neill

Witness if you will: Squat.

Col. O'Neill

This looks suspiciously like the butt end of a Titan missile

Col. O'Neill

(pretending to be impressed) Ooh. All right. I'll be honest with you, Bob. My name's not Kirk. (pausing for effect) It's Skywalker. Luke Skywalker.

Col. O'Neill

[To Hathor] You know…you really should do something about the breath.

Col. O'Neill

So help me. If I wake up, and I'm singing soprano…

Col. O'Neill

Daniel typed up a formal letter—in Goa'uld—and I signed it. That boy can really grovel if he has to.

Col. O'Neill

I'd like to apologize in advance for anything I may say, or do, that could be construed as offensive, as I slowly go NUTS!

Col. O'Neill

[Young girl paints a picture of Jack] I look fat.

Col. O'Neill

You’re right. What was I thinking? [scribbles his original drawing out further] You ever seen a dog? Dogs are my favourite people. Some have tails, some don’t...Not a lot of purple dogs...

Col. O'Neill

All right, so it's possible there's an alternate version of myself out there that actually understands what the hell you're talking about?

Col. O'Neill

[to the alternate Carter] Well exactly, you don't know any of us. And we don't know you, for all we know you could be her evil twin. But then we'd be dealing with cliches and you know how I feel about those. Well, actually, you [pointing to Maj. Carter] know how I feel about those.