Beckett Mariner quotes from Star Trek: Lower Decks

Beckett Mariner

How are you excited for giant, nightmarish centipedes?

Ensign Beckett Mariner

(overjoyed at seeing USS Voyager) OH MY GOD, WE GET TO DO SOMETHING ON VOYAGER?! (she notices the rest of the bridge crew staring at her] Uh, you know, 'cause I mean, Boimler's gonna flip.

Ensign Beckett Mariner

[talking to Boimler] Dude, this is nothing compared to, you know, that Pike thing we aren't supposed to talk about.

Beckett Mariner

Tendi's made it clear Starfleet made those pheromones up. I mean, they had to explain why a captain got taken out by some Orion showgirls.

Beckett Mariner

Starfleet is supposed to be about puzzling together the mysteries of life, not fighting wars! I don't want to be a general! I don't-I don't want to send my friends off to die! I just want to be an ensign. If it was good enough for Sito, then it's good enough for me.

Beckett Mariner

[to her alternate universe self] Don't you give me that sarcastic Vulcan salute! BECKETT! [to herself] So that's how that feels.

Beckett Mariner

You know why Boimler's weird death-faking clone sent that cosmic wave at us? Because he knew we kick ass. And I'm not just talking about the five of us. The whole Cerritos crew is stacked with amazing officers. Yeah, there's a lot of ships in the fleet which are bigger, fancier, they have engineering sections that are attached to the main part of the ship. And honestly, those crews are way more professional. Hey, I should know, I've been kicked out of half of 'em. But this thing we do doesn't require perfection. We're explorers. We live for the unknown. You can't prepare for that. Nobody on the Cerritos is even close to perfect. We're a mishmash of people and various creatures that don't fit in anywhere else. But we're a family. That's why I love it here. We believe in the mission and in each other. My mom might be gone, but she handpicked this crew. Which is why I know we're gonna be okay. This isn't the end of the story, it's the beginning. We're gonna make her proud.

Brad Boimler

Captain’s Log, Stardate 57436.2. The Cerritos is docked at Douglas Station for routine maintenance and resupply. We will soon set course for the capital planet on the Galar system, where we’re scheduled to make second contact with the Galardonian high council. First Contact is a delicate, high-stakes operation of diplomacy. Once must be ready for anything when humanity is interacting with an alien race for the first time. But we don’t do that. Our specialty is second contact. Still pretty important. We get all the paperwork signed, make sure we’re spelling the name of the planet right, get to know all the good places to eat...

Beckett Mariner

Oh, my God. What are you doing?

Brad Boimler

Uh, nothing, nothing, nothing. I’m just…

Beckett Mariner

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Are you pretending to do a, “Captains Log?”

Brad Boimler

We’re all supposed to keep logs!

Beckett Mariner

Ok, Let me listen to it.

Brad Boimler

[annoyed] No, go away!

D’Vana Tendi

I can’t believe we are going to serve side by side. Scientists and commanders, an elite team.

Beckett Mariner

Yeah, no, we’re not really elite. We’re more like the cool, scrappy underdogs of the ship. You know, we don’t wash our hands, we’re doing kick flips all the time.

Brad Boimler

But with focus and dedication, you could be chief medical officer someday.

Beckett Mariner

Ugh, Senior Officers are overrated. They’re always like stressed out and just yelling about directives. It is better down here where the real action is.

Beckett Mariner

I have served on five ships, man. I have seen stuff. One time I got trapped in a sentient cave for weeks. You ever been trapped in a sentient cave? That's a dark place that knows things. I almost got my head taken off a singing crystal. I have been in a Klingon prison where I had to fight a yeti for my own shoes for no reason! He was just being a dick! You've been on what, four planets?

Brad Boimler

Five, if you include Vulcan."

Beckett Mariner

Of course I don't include stupid Vulcan! You may as well count Earth.

Brad Boimler

[softly] I was counting Earth.

Beckett Mariner

Still uh, happy to be here?

D’Vana Tendi

Are you kidding? I got to hold a heart!

Beckett Mariner

After we dump this in storage lets hit the bar and see if we can get a cute lieutenant to argue with me.

D’Vana Tendi

Interesting, why would you want that?

Beckett Mariner

I don’t know getting some uptight hunk all wound up gets me all…

Brad Boimler

I've never even heard of an Anabaj. How did you know?

Beckett Mariner

Affinity for red, drawn to the weak minded, plus I kinda dated one once, but only to make my mom mad.

Brad Boimler

Weak minded?

Brad Boimler

I'm your copilot?! You're taking on more work just to bug me?

Beckett Mariner

Calm down, man. We can't have you co-flying angry. I need you co-calm.

Brad Boimler

I guess I'm just not cut out for Starfleet.

Beckett Mariner

Oh, please, you're Mr. Starfleet.

Brad Boimler

No, I'm not! Not like you are! I should just turn in my uniform and go- work on a research asteroid!

Beckett Mariner

No, absolutely not. Do not even joke about that. That is the lamest thing you could do.

Brad Boimler

I should just study bugs on a far-off planet, and then eventually get eaten, and no one will even know until they stumble upon my distress call, but it'll be way too late, and then they'll have to spend a bunch of time deciphering how things went wrong based on my final shaky video logs!

Beckett Mariner

…I'm sure you wouldn't get eaten.