Sam Rutherford quotes from Star Trek: Lower Decks

Sam Rutherford

Well, if you see an unaligned EPS conduit; don’t call me… mine are aligned as hell.

Sam Rutherford

Ooh, nice font.

Sam Rutherford

I would kill to work on the deflector dish. Most of my day is spent repairing food replicators.

They really break that often?

Sam Rutherford

Only when you get food in ‘em.

Sam Rutherford

There’s a maintenance hatch on the other side of the saucer that should give us access to Deck Eight. What kind of music are you into?

We have just enough oxygen to get there, but we’re cutting it close. I really like this classical band called, The Monkees. Ever heard of ‘em?

Sam Rutherford

Let’s just say, “I’m a believer.”

Jack Ransom

Ok, that was a rough start. FYI, in situations like that try employing the Janeway protocol.

Sam Rutherford

Got it. And what’s that?

Jack Ransom

[laughs] Good one.

Captain, we're directly in the path of a small asteroid. Should we move to avoid?

Sam Rutherford

Uh, do the Janeway Protocol.

Uh, are you sure, sir?

Sam Rutherford

...Yes?

Collision alert, sir! The kindergarten on Deck 8, it's gone!

Sam Rutherford

Uh, uh... [another collision]

No. No no no, now the pre-K is gone! All the ship's children have been ejected into space!

Sam Rutherford

[mortified] All those kids...

Jack Ransom

Freeze program! In thousands of simulations, that's literally never happened before. [excitedly] Let's try another one, on a ship with even MORE children!

Sam Rutherford

Take your mind off this! Uh, think about work. Think about the warp core.

I got burned in the warp core!

Sam Rutherford

Those are dilithium burns?! How are you still alive, man? You should be dead!

Sam Rutherford

You never admit the actual amount of time it takes to finish a job. If you did, your days would be packed.

D’Vana Tendi

Isn't that lying?

Sam Rutherford

No. It's creative estimating. When you get an assignment, you exaggerate how long its gonna take, then you're a hero when it's done early.

Sam Rutherford

You know, Kula told me the Vancouver has fluidic processors that self-replicate their own silicas."

D’Vana Tendi

Nuh-uh!

Sam Rutherford

And he said they had tritanium hull brackets, and get this: T88s!

D’Vana Tendi

That can't be right. T88s aren't even out yet.

Sam Rutherford

I know.

D’Vana Tendi

It's a starship, not heaven!

Sam Rutherford

Listen, I've been working on this new holodeck training program. I think it can help you. You want to try it out?

D’Vana Tendi

Oh my gosh, yes! Thank you, thank you so much, Rutherford! The holodeck, gah! Why didn't I think of that sooner?

Sam Rutherford

Yeah, you know it's not just for hanging with Sherlock Holmes, and Robin Hood, and Sigmund Freud, and Cyrano de Bergerac, and Einstein, and da Vinci, and Stephen Hawking, and Socrates…

Beckett Mariner

Rutherford, we need your transporter thing up and running! Now!

Sam Rutherford

It made Boimler weird!

Beckett Mariner

BOIM US OUT OF HERE!

Clar

You will speak only into the Horn of Candor! With this horn, one of our most sacred horns, you must only speak the truth!

Sam Rutherford

Happy to be here.

Shaxs

Great work nerve-pinching those Vulcans, baby bear. Who knew you'd be better at it than they are?

Sam Rutherford

I did? But I don't know how to nerve-pinch.

Shaxs

Ha! Tell that to Spock and Spock.

Brad Boimler

They'll respond exactly the way they would in real life.

Sam Rutherford

Ah. Hey buddy, how's it going?

Don't talk to me, I'm pissed off!

Sam Rutherford

Whoa! Amazing! We had that exact same conversation an hour ago.

Sam Rutherford

Sir, are you okay?

I'll live, but the crew–

Sam Rutherford

Will be fine. I initiated a rapid repeating emergency transport sequence and beamed the entire crew before we crashed.

What? But that's not possible!

Sam Rutherford

No, it's a movie. You can beam whatever you want. You can do all sorts of beaming stuff in a movie.