Beckett Mariner quotes from Star Trek: Lower Decks

D’Vana Tendi

I thought you said it was tradition, I thought you said nobody cared.

Beckett Mariner

They didn't. There was no way the captain noticed we were padding stuff out. Somebody ratted! I bet it was delta shift.

D’Vana Tendi

Ugh! Delta shift is the worst. They think they're so much better than us, just because they're so much better than us!

Beckett Mariner

Permission to speak freely?

Jack Ransom

You always speak freely. Nobody can stop you from speaking freely!

T'Ana

You'll be fine. Want me to clean up those disgusting scars?

Beckett Mariner

Uh, no way. No. These are my trophies.

T'Ana

Congratulations, you look like a f---ing scratching post.

Jack Ransom

[to two Starfleet security officers] Take her away, boys.

Beckett Mariner

What? Why?

Jack Ransom

Because you ignored me when I ordered you to roll down your sleeves. They're against code.

Beckett Mariner

The sleeve thing?! You're an idiot! [she kicks a tray of medical equipment at him]

Jack Ransom

You just earned an extra day in the brig!

Beckett Mariner

Joke's on you, man! I love the brig! I'm going to my favourite place! [she breaks free of the security officers and throws a bedpan at Ransom] Next time, I'm gonna let somebody kill you! I'm gonna dance in your blood! [the security officers drag her out]

Jack Ransom

[perturbed] Ok. That was kind of hot.

Captain Carol Freeman

If you ever disrespect me like that again, I'll skip the court martial and blow you out the airlock!

Beckett Mariner

Cool. Well, live long and prosper.

Captain Carol Freeman

Don't you give me that sarcastic Vulcan salute! BECKETT!

T'Ana

Hmmmm...

Beckett Mariner

SHE FOLDS! You all fold! Every time, you all fold! You fold!

T'Ana

Don't tell me what to do! … I'm gonna fold.

Beckett Mariner

You know, I get what you're trying to do here, and it is sick.

Captain Carol Freeman

I'm doing exactly what I need to. It's called being a captain.

Beckett Mariner

No, it's called being a dick.

Brad Boimler

Where's your pip?

Beckett Mariner

I'm pretty good at getting demoted.

Brad Boimler

In the last hour?!

Beckett Mariner

You know, I'm sorry, but I'm starting to think that Barb might not actually exist.

Brad Boimler

Oh, she's real. She's as real as a hopped-up Q on Captain Picard Day.

I swore I'd never do long distance, but then I met this goofball on Vendu last month. He radiates a primal confidence. I'm sure you've felt it.

Beckett Mariner

No, I try not to feel anything around Brad.

Beckett Mariner

I've got a bad feeling about Barb.

Brad Boimler

I know. I can't believe she used to date Jet! That guy's like a Kirk sundae with Trip Tucker sprinkles.

Beckett Mariner

Brad, when a Starfleet relationship seems too good to be true, then– red alert, man! It probably is.

Brad Boimler

You think she's cheating on me?!

Beckett Mariner

No! I think she's a secret alien who's gonna eat you, or a Romulan spy, or a salt succubus, or an android, or a Changeling, or one of those sexy people in rompers that murders you just for going on the grass!

Beckett Mariner

Requesting emergency transport to Platform Gamma! Authorization, uh– Mariner Eight!

Request denied. Is that a made-up code? Who is this? Clear this channel!

First, I thought you were a rogue holodeck character, then, because of the way you were lurking around all day, I thought you were a Breen infiltrator.

Beckett Mariner

What? That wasn't lurking, that was protecting!

Finally I realized you're probably a parasite!

Beckett Mariner

Bitch, you're the parasite!

Exactly what a parasite would say, parasite!

Brad Boimler

I can't believe I actually made eye contact with one of the Zebulon sisters! Oh God! I forgot how to breathe.

Beckett Mariner

Oh my God, and then when they added the third Chu and they were doing the Chu Chu Chu dance? They're geniuses!