T'Ana quotes from Star Trek: Lower Decks

T'Ana

Do you realize how hard it is to get cheese out of fur in a sonic shower?!

T'Ana

You think your mom would be okay with me and Shaxs making a little love connection? I'd love to snag that Bajoran beefsteak with my coital hooks.

T'Ana

REOWR! Uh, sorry. I mean get the captain to the biobed, quick, quick!

T'Ana

The anesthetic is useless. We have to work through the pain. Your hands clean?

D’Vana Tendi

Uhhh…

T'Ana

Pump this. Don't pass out. Nobody's authorized to pass out!

T'Ana

We need to get this man to sickbay immediately! He is very important!

Captain Carol Freeman

What makes him so special?

T'Ana

Nothing. He's worthless. It's the slime, captain. He's covered in slime that could save us all!

Captain Carol Freeman

Everyone, protect this slime!

T'Ana

You'll be fine. Want me to clean up those disgusting scars?

Beckett Mariner

Uh, no way. No. These are my trophies.

T'Ana

Congratulations, you look like a f---ing scratching post.

T'Ana

Hmmmm...

Beckett Mariner

SHE FOLDS! You all fold! Every time, you all fold! You fold!

T'Ana

Don't tell me what to do! … I'm gonna fold.

Brad Boimler

How long is this gonna last?

T'Ana

How am I supposed to know?! You look like a goddamn science project!

Brad Boimler

Nobody wants a sparkly captain!

T'Ana

Oh, alright, alright, calm down. I already alerted Division 14.

Brad Boimler

The time travel police?!

T'Ana

No! D-14 handles unsolvable space illnesses and science mysteries.

Brad Boimler

And they can make me a real boy again?

Brad Boimler

I Think we should do what you want to do, Captain. Captain's choice.

Captain Carol Freeman

I'm not asking you to kiss my ass. Come on. No wrong answers.

Brad Boimler

Well, okay. We could do uh evasive maneuver eighty… eight?

T'Ana

Is he *bleep* serious?

T'Ana

Captain! Captain, Someone is replacing everyone on the ship with imposters who claim not to know me! We might be in a parallel dimension!

And you are?

T'Ana

Uh, wait, is this… is this not the Cerritos?

This is the Alhambra. Did you get on the wrong ship?

T'Ana

… F---! They all look the same!

Captain Carol Freeman

Humanity has a complicated relationship with organized religion.

T’Ana

Well, strange energies doesn't. Ever hear of Gary Mitchell? It got real weird, real fast.

Captain Carol Freeman

Doc, how did they deal with Gary Mitchell?

T'Ana

Kirk smooshed him with a boulder.

Captain Carol Freeman

What is he doing now?

It's easy to become a god. The trick is staying a god.

T'Ana

He seems to be focussing on his bis and tris.

T'Ana

When I picked you for this job, I was counting on you to give up.

D'Vana Tendi

Well, maybe the old Tendi was a pushover, but a lot's changed since slightly earlier today.