[SpongeBob and Patrick, with Space alien hats, start to Celebrate.]
[Squidward enters with a Space alien mask and a nightshirt]
SquidwardGreetings, Earthlings.
[Stammering] A r-r-r-real space alien! Greetings, sir.
Squidward
[Laughs and takes off the mask] It's me, you tin - foiled twins! It Was all me! Space aliens don't exist! Get it?!
Thank you, Squidward. [He and Patrick take off their hats] We can see know how silly we really were.
[Squidward sits down at a table to read a newspaper and accidentally rips it after hearing a honking noise.]
Squidward
[crumples and tosses away his newspaper] Dad, can you keep your honking down?! [looks out his side window and gets shocked while discovering SpongeBob and Patrick laughing] Oh, no.
[Jeffy squeezing a rubber chicken in front of SpongeBob and Patrick, who started laughing and clapping]
JJeffy
If you like rubber chickens, you'll love this bicycle horn! [honks a bicycle horn, blowing on SpongeBob and Patrick's face and they laugh again] That's right, boys. I've got horns aplenty. Foghorns! [uses a foghorn in front of SpongeBob and Patrick, blowing fog at them] French horns! [blows a French horn, which makes a French man noise and shoots a baguette into SpongeBob's face] Bull horns! [blows a horn to inflate an inflatable bull] Just $9.99 each. [the bull falls onto SpongeBob and Patrick] I take all major credit cards, but I promise [nudges SpongeBob with his elbow] I'd give them all back. [he, SpongeBob and Patrick laugh and Squidward walked angrily]
Squidward
Please do not arm my annoying neighbors with even more annoying props! I'm begging you, father.
[he and Patrick gasp in shock] Squidward, this is your dad?!
I thought Mr. Krabs was your dad!
Squidward
No, Patrick, and I would appreciate it if you left my father and I alone. [tries bringing Jeffy along with him to leave]
JJeffy
Oh, come on, Squidward. Join in. It's just harmless fun.
[now with a joy buzzer] Yeah, harmless fun. Put her there, Patrick.
[Patrick puts his hand out for SpongeBob and gets electrocuted, then puts out his hand again with a joy buzzer. SpongeBob puts out his hand and gets electrocuted. Lastly, they high-five and both get electrocuted and they laugh.]
Squidward
No. [walks away]
JJeffy
[puts both of his tentacles out with joy buzzers] Here, let me help you two up. [SpongeBob and Patrick get electrocuted, then they all laugh]
Squidward
[closes the bedroom curtains] Well, today was a wash. Guess I'll try again tomorrow. I just need to sleep for... [winds his alarm clock] 23 1/2 hours. [tries to go to sleep, but a fart sound comes out from a whoopee cushion below his bed]
Squidward
Harvesting my crops, ya-ta-ta-ta. [briefly takes off his hat; harvests peppers from a bush] Peppers look delish, ya-ta-ta-ta. [sees SpongeBob's nose in a bush, mistaken for a banana pepper] Banana pepper, too. Ya-ta-ta--ta! [pulls SpongeBob out from a bush and screams, squirting ink all over himself, leaving a stain on his shirt]
[jumps out of the bush] Good morning, Squidward! Ya-ta-ta-ta!
Squidward
[hits SpongeBob's hat off] Ya-ta-ta-ta my foot! You made me ink on my last clean shirt! [pulls on his shirt] Now I have to go to the laundromat. [walks away]
[slowly gasps] The laundromat? [imagining dirty people in a thought bubble] Why, that's a magical place where all filth and grime is washed away, [lots of water splashes onto the people, cleaning them] making clothes spring fresh.
Squidward
[growls as his body gathers back together on the kitchen floor] What did I tell you about locking the freezer when I'm inside?!
[freaks out and covers his eyes] I didn't know it was casual Friday! I'm so sorry, Squidward. I can't believe I locked my best friend in the freezer!
Squidward
I've told you before: we're not best friends!
D'oh! That joke gets funnier every time. [takes the patty and exits the kitchen]
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
