[Squidward sits down at a table to read a newspaper and accidentally rips it after hearing a honking noise.]
[crumples and tosses away his newspaper] Dad, can you keep your honking down?! [looks out his side window and gets shocked while discovering SpongeBob and Patrick laughing] Oh, no.
[Jeffy squeezing a rubber chicken in front of SpongeBob and Patrick, who started laughing and clapping]
If you like rubber chickens, you'll love this bicycle horn! [honks a bicycle horn, blowing on SpongeBob and Patrick's face and they laugh again] That's right, boys. I've got horns aplenty. Foghorns! [uses a foghorn in front of SpongeBob and Patrick, blowing fog at them] French horns! [blows a French horn, which makes a French man noise and shoots a baguette into SpongeBob's face] Bull horns! [blows a horn to inflate an inflatable bull] Just $9.99 each. [the bull falls onto SpongeBob and Patrick] I take all major credit cards, but I promise [nudges SpongeBob with his elbow] I'd give them all back. [he, SpongeBob and Patrick laugh and Squidward walked angrily]
Please do not arm my annoying neighbors with even more annoying props! I'm begging you, father.
[he and Patrick gasp in shock] Squidward, this is your dad?!
I thought Mr. Krabs was your dad!
No, Patrick, and I would appreciate it if you left my father and I alone. [tries bringing Jeffy along with him to leave]
Oh, come on, Squidward. Join in. It's just harmless fun.
[now with a joy buzzer] Yeah, harmless fun. Put her there, Patrick.
[Patrick puts his hand out for SpongeBob and gets electrocuted, then puts out his hand again with a joy buzzer. SpongeBob puts out his hand and gets electrocuted. Lastly, they high-five and both get electrocuted and they laugh.]
No. [walks away]
[puts both of his tentacles out with joy buzzers] Here, let me help you two up. [SpongeBob and Patrick get electrocuted, then they all laugh]
[closes the bedroom curtains] Well, today was a wash. Guess I'll try again tomorrow. I just need to sleep for... [winds his alarm clock] 23 1/2 hours. [tries to go to sleep, but a fart sound comes out from a whoopee cushion below his bed]
More SpongeBob SquarePants quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.