Tim Bisley quotes from Spaced

Tim

You can't dangle the bogus carrot of possible reconciliation in front of my face whilst riding some other... donkey.

Tim

[being dumped] I don't understand, just... eergh... give me a reason! You think I'm unemotional, don't you? I can be emotional! Jesus I cried like child at the end of Terminator 2... You know, with the thumb, and the molten...

Tim

What is this? This is rubbish! We should be listening to firm young melodies, kicking tunes, thumping bass! God I sound so stupid!

Tim

You know when you said it went well? Well, when you said well, did you mean shite?

Tim

LOOK! Daisy... Daisy, Daisy, Daisy... It's gonna be okay... Now have a big toke on this South-African drugs reefer style splif doobie.

Tim

Now come on! There's no reason to stay here any longer than necessary! Let's split up, look for survivors and get out of here!

Tim

Mike, I'll see you back here at twenty-two hundred hours. Everyone else, I'll see you back here at ten.

Tim

[on Twist] I haven't actually figured her out just yet. She's either sweet and stupid or an evil genius.

Tim

You are so blind! You so do not understand! You weren't there at the beginning. You don't know how good it was! How important! This is it for you! This jumped-up firework display of a toy advert! People like you make me sick! What's wrong with you?! Now, I don't care if you've saved up all your 50ps, take your pocket money, and GET OUT!

Tim

What a prick.

Tim

Okay, listen. When we get there, let me do the talking, okay? I am the only one here capable of serious communication. [Instantly regretful] Sorry, sorry! That sounded bad. I didn't mean to suggest that you're not good communicators, okay Mike?

Tim

Brian?

Tim

Marsha, they say the family of the twenty-first century is made up of friends, not relatives. If that's true, then you're the best auntie I've ever had.

Tim

You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese.

Daisy

I never said that.

Tim

Yeah, but it'd be good though, wouldn't it?

Daisy

[shrugs] I dunno.

Daisy

Do you want another cup of tea?

Tim

Ooh, no thanks, twelve's my limit.

Daisy

What do you do, Brian?

Brian

I'm an artist.

Tim

[Looking up from what he was doing] I'm an artist.

Daisy

Oh, what kind of thing do you do?

Brian

Anger.

Brian

Pain.

Brian

Fear.

Brian

Aggression.

Daisy

Watercolours?

Brian

It's a bit more complex than that.

Daisy

Tim does cartoons.

Tim

It's a bit more complex than that.

Daisy

Do you rent downstairs?

Brian

D'you mean am I gay?

Daisy

What?

Brian

D'you mean am I gay?

Daisy

No, I meant "are you renting the downstairs flat?"

Brian

Oh, right. Yep, sort of.

Tim

Are you?

Brian

What?

Tim

Are you gay?

Brian

[Thoughtfully] No?