A character in Spaced
Played by Simon Pegg
Spaced · 96 quotes
Most-quoted character in Spaced: in 71 of its 96 quotes
Most scenes with: Daisy Steiner (26), Mike Watt (21), Brian Topp (12)
Wanna go back into your party?
TimBut they were playing 'The Time Warp'! I hate 'The Time Warp'!
Daisy likes it.
TimI don't care! I hate it! It's boil-in-the-bag perversion for sexually repressed accountants and first-year drama students with too many posters of Betty Blue, The Blues Brothers, Big Blue and Blue Velvet on their blue bloody walls!
I'm busy Tim, painting a triptych.
TimOh yeah what's it called?
Bad sandwich.
TimReally?
Yes.
TimMmm.
It's a piece about violence in its immediacy, the instancy of the event. A synchronic rendering of three explosive, aggressive, expressions...
TimThere'll be girls at the party.
Really?
TimYes.
Mmmmm...
You're up early.
TimOh, I haven't been to bed. Me and Mike met up with these two Scottish guys in the pub and they gave us all this cheap speed.
Oh Tim, that's so tacky.
TimYeah I know, but y'know they were so nice... I think if we'd said no they'd have got offended and beaten us to death with a pool cue.
Where's Mike?
[cuts briefly to shot of Mike running around a tree, revving an imaginary motorbike and making engine noises]
Tim[shrugs and mumbles] Dunno.
Right, I'm going to the shops. D'you want anything?
TimPorn.
Tim, I'm not going to buy you porn. You can get it from railway sidings like everybody else.
TimI can't, I'm an adult. I'm supposed to leave it there.
Tim[On Resident Evil] It's a subtle blend of lateral thinking and extreme violence.
What, like "It's A Knock Out"?
[After Brian has received his party invite]
TimSo are you going to go?
I don't know. I haven't seen her for ages.
TimNo. I mean, are you going to go, now?
Oh, yeah. [He leaves]
TimBrian's coming up.
Why'd he phone?
TimI dunno, why'd he paint his arse blue last week?
You don't like him, do you?
TimNo, I do. I just think he's a bit pretentious.
[Brian enters, wearing a very loud waistcoat]
How do you think I look?
TimBit pretentious?
Do you think I should lose the waistcoat?
TimI think you should burn it. Because if you lose it, you might find it again.
TimSo what happened last night then?
Well we went to see an interesting piece of contemporary theatre, drank an enormous amount of free wine, ate our body-weight in Twiglets and you punched an artist in the face.
TimShit, I'm not supposed to eat Twiglets.
Why not?
TimThey make me violent.
TimWhere are you?
Uh, Sheffield.
TimWhat are you doing in Sheffield?
I fell asleep on the tube.
TimThe tube doesn't go to Sheffield, Mike.
Yeah, I know, I, uh, must have changed at Kings Cross.
TimAlright, well don't fall asleep on the way back, ok?
[Mike falls asleep on the phone]
TimMike?
You're so damaged; just because Sarah hurt you, you feel justified in wreaking your petty vengeance on womankind.
TimYes... yes... and I'd do it again, I tell you, I'd do it again in an instant! [Laughs manically then jumps out of the window]
Can I borrow a tea-bag?
Tim[sarcastically] Only if you bring it back. [pauses] You can HAVE a tea-bag, Brian, you can't borrow one.
What are you playing?
TimTomb Raider 3.
She's drowning.
TimYeah.
Is that the point of the game?
TimDepends what mood you're in really.
What sort of mood are you in then?
TimWell, I got a letter from my ex-girlfriend this morning, 3 months too late, explaining why she dumped me. It was full of 'you'll always be special' and 'I'll always love you' platitudes designed to make me feel better whilst simultaneously appeasing her deep seated sense of guilt for dumping me, running off with a slimy little city boy called Duane and destroying my faith in everything which is good and pure.
So it didn't really work then.
TimNo, it made me wanna drown things! [turns around, sees Brian dressed as a painting] You've got paint on you.
It's a literal tribute to the self reflexivity of Rembrandt.
TimDid he like it?
He's dead.
TimBloody hell, that really backfired.
Gosh, this is so exciting!
This your first time, kid?
I'm thirty-six.
This your first time, old man?
Yeah. I've always fancied myself as a bit of a soldier.
TimYeah, I've always fancied myself.
I've always fancied you...
Tim[quickly] Not here!
You've done this before, then?
You could say that.
What do you mean?
Well, let's just say the last time I was in this situation, I wasn't using a paintball gun.
[in awe] You've seen combat?
Yes, yes I have.
Where?
Umm, on the television!
But you just said the last time you were in this situation you didn't use a paintball gun!
TimHe didn't.
Well, what did you use?
Erm, it was a big stick...?
[About Duane]
TimHe's made this personal.
I thought he made it personal when he slept with your girlfriend.
TimWell, he's made it more personal.
I don't think it gets much more personal than sleeping with your girlfriend, Tim.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Spaced pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
