[South Park Elementary; Stan is called over to Principal Victoria's office and as he enters, he is stunned to see Principal Victoria, Mr. Mackey, his parents, Kyle's parents, Sgt. Yates, Officer Barbrady, and the Mayor with her aides, all there together, and are incredibly displeased with him]
You just had to push it, didn't you Stan? You just had to make fun of Tom Cruise again.
Did you call him a fudge packer?
Aww, he was packing fudge!
Little boy, you don't understand how serious this is. Tom Cruise has put together a class-action lawsuit along with 200 other celebrities!
They're going to sue the bajeezus out of this entire town, m'kay?
It wasn't just me. Other kids called him a fudge packer. Even Mr. Garrison.
But you started it. Mr. Broflovski, tell him what you told us.
Stan, a class-action lawsuit means the end of this town. We can't possibly go up against their lawyers.
Dammit, Marsh, why couldn't you've just kept your stupid ugly kid in line?
Hey, don't start blaming me for his looks!
[Back at the fudge factory, Stan and Randy talk with Tom Cruise]
Mr. Cruise, my son is so, so sorry. And he would do anything to take back his hurtful comment.
That's nice. I'm still suing you all! Nobody calls me a fudge packer!
Yes, it was a terrible mistake. But, maybe you could see how -- since you do, take fudge and, pack it into a box...
What?
I'm just saying, you are employed currently, as a person who, packages...
I'm an actor. I do not pack fudge!
Right, my son just got confused. Because you have a little uniform, and a hat that says "Fred's Fudge & Candies." And you are... look it doesn't matter just... please withdraw the class-action lawsuit. Nobody in our town will ever call you a fudge packer again.
[takes a short break and sighs] There is... one thing that your town could do to... maybe make me forget about this lawsuit.
Anything! Anything you want, Mr. Cruise.
It's just that there's somebody I've always wanted to meet. Face to face. If you could get him to show up in your town...
Sure, who is it? We can get anybody for you.
Muhammad. The prophet of the Muslim faith.
Ooooo...
That's tricky.
Well then you can just get sued!
Mr. Cruise, if there's anybody else we could try to bring to town, we could-
NO! Just him! You get Muhammad to appear in South Park, or your little town is done!
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