Guys I have a confession to make. I asked for a cup of water but I filled it up with soda. (sees that it's not Nico, Grady and Tawni) And you're not Nico, Grady or Tawni. (laughs nervously) I was-I was kidding about the soda. (goes to another table when she thinks she sees the real Grady) Guys the weirdest thing just happened to me and it's happening again! (sees more Nico, Grady and Tawni lookalikes) Oh no. It's that dream where I end up on t.v. wearing nothing but a hat. (checks if she's in a dream)
(walks in the cafeteria with Nico) (referring to someone that looks like Nico) What is up Nico? My man, my man! You were great in that Gassie sketch. Just funny.
NicoI'm standing right next you.
No you're not. You're right there standing next to me. (sees two people that look like them then gasps) Dude, this means our time machine has worked!
Nico
That wasn't a time machine! It was a clock! And that ain't you! And those aren't Sonnies! And those aren't-
(gasps) Then who the heck are you people?
Nico
Now that's definitely Tawni.
Nico
What is going on in here? (sees the real Sonny) Uh Sonny are we in your stupid hat dream?
I have no idea what's going on.
[Nico and Grady walk into the prophouse and find their lookalikes are gone.]
Nico
Hey, where'd we go? (Tawni walks in)
Wha-[Tawni slaps him and walks out]
Nico
Oh, you're gonna need some ice for that.
Maple syrup? Really? Maple syrup?
Chad, I'm sorry after you did something nice just to be nice..
I know! Syruped and feathered my friend, but don't worry. I'm planning on returning the favor.
With a prank? And whatever I'm doing now is gonna be a hundred times worse than I planned to do before.
Nico
What did you plan to do before?
Well whatever it was, it was hundred times less worse than what I'm gonna do to you now!
Stop scaring us with math!
Nico
E-e-e-easy G.
You know what would make this easier? If you would stop saying "E-e-e-e-e-e-easy G."
Hey. You guys made a house of cards.
No you're saying it wrong. It's (says it dully) "Wow you guys made a house of cards."
Nico
It's not a house, it's a fortress.
Everybody! Into the fortress! (jumps on the fortress of cards)
Nico
(falls on Grady's back)
(hides under a table) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
It's my first Los Angeles earthquake! Which is exciting and TERRIFYING! This is me screaming in terror! (screams) And this is me getting under the table which is what you're suppose to do! EARTHQUAKE!!!!!
Calm down. Calm down everyone. It wasn't a quake. The studio is just doing some construction.
AHHH! CONSTRUCTION!!! just kidding just kidding
Finally! They're making some improvements around here. I guess somebody read the note I put in the demand box.
You mean the suggestion box?
Nico
Yes! They're building a weight room!
Even better! They're building a bait and tackle shop! Now I don't have to go downtown for my worms!
Not even close. Anybody else wanna guess?
Okay if a guillotine is closer then I don't want to guess anymore.
Okay okay! I'll tell ya! They're kicking you out of the prophouse!
You see, I took a horrible situation and turned it into a fun little game!
No! You didn't! You took something horrible and took forever to tell it!
You're right. Look I'll make this next part quick and I won't sing it to you like I planed,You have 24 hours to pack up your things and leave
Oh. It's a picture...of you.
Yeah but look how its signed.
'To my biggest fan: I'm sorry T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper' Aww. I'm touched! That's so sweet Chad! What did you get for Nico and Grady?
Oh that's easy. I let them take a ride on the forklift.
You did WHAT on the WHO NOW?
Nico
oh man, This ain't MacKenzie Falls.
[Introducing his puppet Walter to Grady and Nico] Guys, this is my partner, Officer Rothban. He doesn't like a lot of things.
[Sees Chad] Oh my gosh, it's Chad Dylan Cooper! I love your work!
What are you thanking him for? I'm the one who loves Mackenzie Falls!
How can you like that show? What is the matter with you?
Nico
What's the matter with him? What's the matter with you? Dude, he's not real!
At least he has real tastes! [To Rothban] Thank you. [Pats him on the head and leaves]
He touched me! I will never wash my head again!
Nico
These pants are so skinny!
Nico
Tawni's pants are squishing my gluttons maxmi moola!
(stands up)I signed up for a Walk-a-Thon. Not to have my internal organs crushed by Tawni's jeans!
(walks out of the photo booth and trying to button her jeans) I want my mommy jeans back!
We have to make this work! The only way we can get Tawni to walk with us is for us to wear her jeans because her fans will see on TV us wearing her jeans which will raise money for more books and less money for no books and everybody wins except Chad!!!!!! Hey now that I got that out I can button my pants.
Well good for you because I'm never getting these things on.
Nico
Me neither.
(walks in) Yes you will. Thanks to the Tawni Hart Butt Horn.
(singing) I've never, ever been to public school.
MMartha
What is she doing?
She's trying to tell us how miserable she is.
I never thought that it would be this cruel.
Nico
(singing) It's endless. We're friendless.
(walks in and sings) It's nothing but pain.
Apparently the only high school these guys know is the musical one.
(singing) And no one in this dump knows our name.
Alright Martha, give me a boost.
MMartha
(helps Sonny up on a lunch table)
(singing) I know you think that this is probably my fault.
The catty comments and the constant assault.
I was here once and I'm still alive. So listen if you wanna survive (gets down) inside this-
I never I thought I'd be invisible.
This High School Miserable.
We got to keep being indivisible.
In this High School Miserable. Don't understand what's happening to me. In this High School Miserable. (stands on lunch tables) Someone get me back on T.V.
Sonny With a Chance · 279 quotes
