Tawni quotes from Sonny With a Chance

Well what does it say? Look she-she wrote things on the meat. [reads the meat] "Meat. Dead. You're." [realizes something] You're dead meat! She's threatening us!

Tawni

Oh no! She wrote on the sausages too! [reads the sausages] "If any of you show your faces at the Oh No You Didn'ts, I will tear you all to pieces! Sharona."

Come on, we're not really afraid of her. Are we Tawni?

Tawni

I'm a little afraid.

Yeah me too.

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Tawni

[Puts a scarf on the neck] Beyoncé. [Puts a scarf on the forhead] Tyra. And a pirate! Arrr!

Tawni

What are you all sighe about?

Oh, was I sighing? Sorry.

Tawni

Ah! Now you're humming!

Was I humming? Sorry again.

Tawni

Ok, that's not just sighing and humming. That's boy sighing and humming! Who asked you out?

Well I'm not gonna brag but... JAMES CONROY!

Tawni

James Conroy?

Yes!

Tawni

No!

No?

Tawni

No!

Why?

Because why?

Tawni

Because, my best friend dated him and he dumped her. It wasn't pretty. Her face broke out and she started using poly extra pants.

Look, I doubt anything is gonna happen between James and me.

Tawni

Let me guess. He asked you out and you said no?

Yes.

Tawni

That's how it starts. You say no and he turns on the charm!

MMan

Sonny Munroe, bouquet of flowers for you at the front desk.

Tawni

And here comes the charm!

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Wow! (Sonny reads a card) "Hi teapot." Ow. "It was nice meeting you. Any chances we can go out tonight? Your bad boy, James." You know, maybe he's not such a jerk after all.

Tawni

Oh right. Maybe I'm ugly. Use your brain!

Look, I appreciate the warning, but maybe your friend and James didn't have chemistry.

Chad? What do you want Chad?

It's James.

[To Tawni] It's James.

Tawni

Hang up.

Hey James. How's it going? I loved the flowers! They're so beautiful.

It was my pleasure.

Dude, is that my phone?

Oh, yeah it is. Thanks. (To Sonny) I gotta make this fast. Do you wanna go out tonight?

Tonight?

Tawni

No no no.

I'd love to.

Cool.

Cool.

Bye.

Bye.

You hang up first.

No you hang up.

Tawni

I'll hang up!

Tawni

Fine, don't listen to me. But when you're heart is broken into a milion pieces and spread all over the floor, just remember. Tawni Hart doesn't vacuem.

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Tawni

Where's your idiot friend?

Bart! [Bart comes out]

Tawni

Not that idiot. James. Yeah, the one who's going out with Sonny tonight.

I'm sorry, what?

Tawni

James, Sonny, date, tonight.

Date? Sonny? Tonight? James?

Tawni

So where is he?

Right now he's breaking into the first bank of MacKenzie Falls. [sirens go]

[Off camera] Give me all your money!

Tawni

What is your show even about?

Oh, this week's our Christmas episode. Yeah, in the end he realizes he had a wonderful life.

Tawni

Look, just tell James to back off of Sonny.

Why do you want him to back off Sonny?

Tawni

Why are you wearing a bib?

Jealous?

Tawni

I have my own bib!

Not of the bib, of Sonny! What...?

Tawni

No. I'm trying to protect her. Why do you want him to back off Sonny?

I... never said I did.

Tawni

Oh, your lips say I don't care, but your eyes say I do care! So, you just tell your friend to back off from Tawni Hart! ...Well not back off from me, back off from me, Tawni Hart!

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So, what looks good?

You.

Tawni

Sorry I'm late!

Tawni?

Tawni?

Tawni

James. So, what did I missed?

An invitation. What are you doing here?

Tawni

I like chicken fingers and skiball.

Uh, sorry I'm late. What did I missed?

Tawni likes chicken fingers and skiball! What are you doing here?

Came to hang out with my bro? (looks at Tawnie) So what are you doing here?

Tawni

What are YOU doing here?

(to Sonny) What are they doing here?

What are we still doing here?

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And 3 mini muffins for the little girl from "Children having a Dream" foundation.

Tawni

(holding up a magazine with the "Mackenzie Falls" cast) Three pictures of "Mackenzie Falls" and no Tawni. (flipping the pages) No Tawni, no Tawni. NO TAWNI! (closes the magazine)

Bananas. If the girl is needed, I'm sure she'll "needed" some potassium. Hahaha.

Hey. They're not for you! They're for Dakota. The underprivileged girl is gonna spend a dream day at "So Random".

Tawni

I'm underprivileged.

You're underphotographed not underprivileged.

Tawni

Underphotographed is much worse. Do I get a muffin basket? No!

Let's focus on what's important here. As the embassador of fun, I promised her the best day ever.

Tawni

Who nominated you as the embassador of fun?

Well, I did. I even have a hat. (Sonny puts on a hat) Embassador of fun. (pointing to the hat)

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Tawni

Oww, is this the little darling from the children's foundation?

Zora

Ow. EVIL.

Zora, she is not evil. She might have anger issues, but mostly she's...

Dakota

Disappointed!

Tawni

Because you got stuck with Sonny? Friend, I know how you feel.

Dakota

No! I'm disappointed that none of you is Chad Dylan Cooper!

C"So Random" cast

Ahhh!

Well, ahaha, according to the world wibe web, we are much cooler that Chad Dylan!

Dakota

Hahaha. This isn't it about cool! It's about HOT! Chad Dylan Cooper is HOT!!! Get out of my way, old ladie! (pushes Tawni away)

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Tawni

[holding up magazine showing MacKenzie Falls cast in cool places] And who do you see there? And there, and there, and there! [flipping through magazine]

Chad Dylan Cooper, and the cast of MacKenzie Falls.

Yeah, she's right we need to be seen in cool places.

Tawni

Yes, that's why we're going to a place so cool, so exclusive, so underground, it doesn't even exist.

We're going to Narnia?

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(Chad on the phone) Good!

Good!

Good!

Good!

Good and goodbye!

(to the cast) Chad says "hi".

Tawni

What did he really say?

Well, he said that all proms stink! They don't stink. You guys know that. (The cast looks confused) Oh my gosh, you don't know that! You've never been to a prom?

Tawni

I've been working since my first diaper commercial.

Zora

I'm eleven.

I was on the road doing my one man show.

"NICO".

Well, we're gonna change all that. Because I'm thinking we can have our own prom!

You mean a prom sketch?

No. Like a real prom. Dancing and twinkling lights and a really cool theme!

Girls.

That's not a theme, Nico.

I know. I was just thinking about girls.

And I'm thinking we have a really cool theme! Something fantastice, something magical, something we've all dreamed about.

Tawni

"Tawni Town"!

(Chad on the phone) Hello.

Good.

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Well, Chad, you were right. All proms end in disaster.

Do they Sonny? Do they really? 'Cause sometimes I heard, you get to have that perfect dance, with that one special person. [takes out headphones] You're just going to have to settle for me.

[Chad and Sonny start dancing]

[giggles] This is sweet!

I have my moments.

You gonna press play?

Oh right, sorry!

You had to ask Marshall.

Zora

Always gotta do everything by the book.

Oh yeah? Is that what you think? (the cast waves "yes") Is that what you all think? (The cast says "yes") Well, I, just checked out a new book. And it's called "We're having a secret prom= by Sonny Munroe!

Are you suggesting...

That's right. A secret prom.

Tawni

A secret prom?

A secret prom?

A secret prom?

A secr...

Ok, I think we've said it enough times.

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Tawni

Hey Sonny. You're not suddenly interested on being prom queen. Right?

No.

Tawni

Ok, then. You look really pretty.

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If anyone gets caught eat the instructions! Got any questions? (Grady raises his hand) Yes Grady?

What happens if I've already eaten lunch? I'm kinda full. Do I still have to eat the instructions?

Yes.

Well can you put the instructions on cake?

No!

Cookies?

No! NOW GO! GO! GO!

(to Tawni) You wanna go get some cake?

Tawni

Ooh...and cookies.

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I can't just come between love.

Tawni

I don't want you to come between it, I want you to crush it!

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Guys I have a confession to make. I asked for a cup of water but I filled it up with soda. (sees that it's not Nico, Grady and Tawni) And you're not Nico, Grady or Tawni. (laughs nervously) I was-I was kidding about the soda. (goes to another table when she thinks she sees the real Grady) Guys the weirdest thing just happened to me and it's happening again! (sees more Nico, Grady and Tawni lookalikes) Oh no. It's that dream where I end up on t.v. wearing nothing but a hat. (checks if she's in a dream)

(walks in the cafeteria with Nico) (referring to someone that looks like Nico) What is up Nico? My man, my man! You were great in that Gassie sketch. Just funny.

I'm standing right next you.

No you're not. You're right there standing next to me. (sees two people that look like them then gasps) Dude, this means our time machine has worked!

That wasn't a time machine! It was a clock! And that ain't you! And those aren't Sonnies! And those aren't-

Tawni

(gasps) Then who the heck are you people?

Now that's definitely Tawni.