Tawni quotes from Sonny With a Chance

Chad

You trust me, don't you?

Sonny

No, I don't think I do.

Chad

Of course you can. Wait, who is talking while I am acting?

Sonny

(looks around and acts like she did nothing)

Zora

Watch out for the security guard! He's ten feet tall, with arms like tree trunks and legs that...won't be back for ten minutes?

What?

Grady

Oh man! What are we going do for ten minutes?

Nico

Zora, do your thing.

Zora

(shocks Grady)

Grady

Owwww!!

Tawni

Let's do this thing!

Zora

Sonny!

Nico

We're now called "Loser Force Four"!

Sonny

Oww, you gave us a name!

Grady

You gave us a reason to give us a name.

Grady

We're at the "Falls". I'm felling dramatic.

Sonny

You missed me.

Tawni

I, experienced caring. It was awful.

Grady

We're here to apologize to you and ask you to come back.

Maybe she doesn't want to come back to you losers.

Nico

Loser? "Loser Force Four".

Chad

Whoa. Never saw a group of losers so proud to call themselves losers

Sonny

Well, you know what. I'm proud to call myself a loser too. Well, so I guess that makes us "Loser Force Five"!

Sonny

C'mon guys. (She whispers "Loser Force Five")

"Loser Force Five"!

Marshall

All right. Rehearsal for So You Think You Can Pee Pee Dance. In 5, 4, 3.

Sonny

(wearing a blond wig) This is So You Think You Can Pee Pee Dance! Flo!

Tawni

(comes out of a bathroom stall and dances awkwardly)

Sonny

Pia!

Zora

(comes out of another stall wearing a ballerina costume and dances)

Sonny

Agua!

Nico

(comes out of a stall and dances)

Sonny

And Wee Diddy!

Grady

(wearing gangster clothes and dances)

Sonny

What's up peeps? I know you're all flushed with excitement. Because we are streaming live across the world! The final votes have trickled in. We're about to find who will become number one at holding number one. Right after this (makes a hissing sound). So You Think You Can Pee Pee Dance is brought to you by water! (pours water in a cup)

Marshall

(claps) Great rehearsal guys. Now I need a pee pee break.

Sonny

Hi, this is Sonny, and you've reached me at 555-0125, you know what to do.

Sonny

Hey, my first phone call. Hello?

Tawni

Yeah it's me. Could you keep it down? I have twenty pounds of fan mail to go through.

Sonny

Fan Mail? Did I get any?

Sonny

Hello?

Tawni

Aw, I was hoping to get your machine. Anyway, no fan mail for you. Sorry

Sonny

That's okay!

Tawni

Um, I said you had NO fan mail.

Sonny

I heard you.

Tawni

Doesn't that bother you? I mean when I joined the show, my fan mail started right away.

Sonny

Doesn't bother me.

Sonny

Hello?

Tawni

Does it bother you now?

Sonny

I'm off to rehearsal. Besides, I'm not going to let this bother me. I'm way too mature.[Sonny takes baby bottle prop and hat to the rehearsal]

Sonny

Wah, Wah, Wah! That's no good. [higher pitched] Wah, Wah, Wah.

Tawni

Still crying about no fan mail?

Sonny

: No. I told you. I'm totally fine with that.

Tawni

Maybe someday, you'll get a fan letter like everyone else. Me, Zora, Grady, Niko, Marshall,...Me.

Sonny

Well for your information. I did get a fan letter. From Royalty. A king no less.

Tawni

Oh, really? Could it be the Hunan King? Does he live in a noodle palace?

Sonny

Actually, he's got seven locations. Okay, fine it's just a menu. I didn't get any stupid fan mail.

Tawni

Sweetie, I know it must hurt to be so unpopular. Well, I don't know. I can only imagine. Just like you can only imagine what it's like to actually BE popular. You see, every fan letter is like a hug from a friend.

Sonny

Is this pep talk almost over?

Tawni

Let's see. I got more pep. So yeah, all done!

Sonny

I have fans. They just haven't had time to write yet.

Tawni

Keep dreaming!

Sonny

It's time. [gets pen and paper and begins to write herself a fan letter from "Eric"]

Dear Sonny...

Sonny

Those are all for me!

Tawni

No! They're all for-Sonny?

Sonny

You've been hiding my fan mail.

Tawni

You're pretending to be your own fan?

Sonny

You committed mail fraud!

Tawni

You committed fan fraud!

Sonny

Fan fraud's not illegal!

Tawni

Mail fraud's not embarrassing!

Sonny

Let's just get this over with. Marshall, I have to say something. Eric is...

Chad

(as Eric) Your biggest fan!

Tawni

That's impossible. Eric is not real!

Chad

But I'm standing right here. Let's give it up for Sonny!

Sonny

Why are you helping me?

Chad

I'm not helping you. I just wanted to try on the beard.

Sonny

Sounds like somebody cares.

Chad

Somebody... wanted to try on a weird beard.

Sonny

Cares.

Chad

Beards.

Sonny

Cares.

Chad

Beards.

Sonny

Cares.

Chad

Beards.

Sonny

Beards.

Chad

Cares.

Sonny

Gotcha!

Tawni

Any fan of Sonny's is a fan of mine! Right?

Not necessarily.

Marshall

All right. Places everyone! Places everyone! This is the final rehearsal for the Check It Out Girls sketch. And action!

Sonny

So check it out. Yesterday I got a manicure. Check it out. (shows her fingers to Tawni)

Tawni

Ooh! Check those out! Check you out!

Sonny

Yeah right?

Nico

Uh excuse me uh, could you check me out?

Sure!

Sonny

Check out his vest.

Tawni

His vest? Check out his boots.

Sonny

His boots? Check out his hair.

Nico

Uh, yeah I'm right here. I want you to check out my items alright?

Sonny

(scoffs) Check out your items? Check out his attitude!

Tawni

His attitude? Check out his breath.

Nico

You know what? Forget it! (leaves)

Grady

Excuse me? How about checking out my groceries?

Sure!

Sonny

Check out his cereal!

Tawni

Check out his tuna panini!

Grady

Alright drop the panini and give me all of your money! (points his finger in his jacket pocket)

Sonny

Check out greedy panini guy.

Tawni

Check out his finger in his jacket.

Sonny

Check out his jacket.

Tawni

Check out my jacket! (takes out her jacket)

Sonny

Oh my gosh! Check it out, I have the same jacket! (takes out her jacket)

Grady

I'm trying to rob ya here!

Tawni

Check out Mr. Pushy!

Sonny

Check out Mr. Pushy's pants.

Tawni

His pants? Check out Mr. Pushy's-

Grady

Ugh! Forget it! (leaves)

Sonny

Check it out, he was kinda cute.

Tawni

Check you out! He was a robber!

Sonny

Not a good one!

Tawni

Right? Maybe he'll come back tomorrow.

Sonny

Ooh! And then we could recheck him out!

Sonny

Check out dance?

Tawni

Check out dance.

Tawni

The name of the sketch is 'The Check it out Girls'. I can't do it alone.

Sonny

Are you saying you need me?

Tawni

No, I'm saying I already asked Marshal and he said I can't do it alone.

Tawni

Insult me again.

Sonny

You're a rhombus!

Tawni

I'm a what?

Sonny

A parallelogram with four equals sides!

Sonny

Check it out, we still have time!

Tawni

Check it out! We're going to make it on the show!

Sonny

No! Check it out, it's closed!

Are you ready to get So Random?!

Tawni

(whines)

Sonny

I've got an idea. Hurry.

Tawni

(follows Sonny but stops when she sees her picture on the door) Wait, where did that come from? (tries to wipe a smudge off her picture)

Sonny

(climbing a ladder) Come on!

Tawni

Sorry. (climbs the ladder) Move it! Move it! Move it!

Sonny

Hurrying!

Sonny

(pushing ropes aside) Careful. Careful.

Tawni

What's with all these ropes?

Sonny

That's our theme music! (shaking her head to the music with Tawni) Hurry!

Tawni

(follows Sonny)

Grady

So check this out. Yesterday I got a manicure. Check it out!

Tawni

Check out our break being over!

Sonny

Check out the snake.

Tawni

No you check out the snake.

Sonny

You check out the snake.

Tawni

No you check out the snake.

Sonny

Check out neither of us checking out the snake!

Tawni

You know what hurts the most? That you would actually have the same dress as me.

Sonny

Okay. We'll go through everything in my closet and make sure Sharona never catches us in the same outfit again. [picks up a outfit] So do you have anything like this?

Tawni

[makes a gagging face]

Sonny

Okay, this one's safe. [picks up a skort] What about these?

Tawni

Kuwats?

Sonny

It's a skort. You know, shorts in the back, skirt in the front. It's like a mullet for your butt. [smiles]

Tawni

[makes a gagging expression again]

Sonny

Okay, so what are you wearing to the Oh No You Didn't awards? [smiles]

Tawni

Shame and a strapless party dress. But mostly shame.

Sonny

Tawni, come on. Sharona's had her fun. She'll never pit us against each other again. It's over.

Zora

[opens the vent] This just in. Sharona says: "Sonny's hair is fab and Tawni's hair is drab."

Tawni

[opens her mouth in shock and turns to Sonny]

Sonny

[flips her hair] Okay now it's over.

Tawni

[looks at her cellphone with Sonny] How could Sharona compare these two photos?

Tawni

She used my picture from the Bad Hair Day sketch and yours is touched up and pretty.

Sonny

Actually that's my picture from my student ID. Didn't it turn out good?

Tawni

[crying] My clothes are ugly, my hair is ugly. My entire life is ugly! I need a tissue.

Sonny

Here, just use my skort.

Tawni

Even the things I blow my nose into are ugly!

Sonny

[enters her dressing room with sad violin music playing] Hey Tawni, are you ready to go back to rehers-AHHH! [covers her mouth in shock]

Tawni

[sitting by her mirror with no hair]

Sonny

You shaved your head.

Tawni

Actually it's a bald cap. But symbolically yes, I did shave my head.

Sonny

Sharona has driven you into wearing a bald cap?

Tawni

If I don't have the best hair, I might as well have no hair at all! [sits down]