Tawni quotes from Sonny With a Chance

Hey Sonny what's the dilly?

The 'dilly' is Nico and Grady are stuck in a net. Everyone says they're in cahoots. You win; I'm tired with this paranoia. Just prank me and get it over with.

Sorry, Sonny I'm already doing a prank. It's called Tawni's fake audition. It was actually inspired by your audition. I guess that makes you Chad's little helper.

Tawni

I'm Fashonita! That was perfect.

(laughing) Thanks for the idea Sonny.

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Maple syrup? Really? Maple syrup?

Chad, I'm sorry after you did something nice just to be nice..

I know! Syruped and feathered my friend, but don't worry. I'm planning on returning the favor.

With some flowers?

With a prank? And whatever I'm doing now is gonna be a hundred times worse than I planned to do before.

What did you plan to do before?

Well whatever it was, it was hundred times less worse than what I'm gonna do to you now!

Tawni

Stop scaring us with math!

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Tawni

Chad.

Chad.

Chad.

Randoms.

Tawni

Chad?!

Chad?!

Chad?!

(confused) Randoms.

Tawni

CHAD!

CHAD.

Cha-

OK please, not again.

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E-e-e-easy G.

You know what would make this easier? If you would stop saying "E-e-e-e-e-e-easy G."

Hey. You guys made a house of cards.

Tawni

No you're saying it wrong. It's (says it dully) "Wow you guys made a house of cards."

It's not a house, it's a fortress.

Fortress.

Earthquake! Take cover!

Everybody! Into the fortress! (jumps on the fortress of cards)

(falls on Grady's back)

(hides under a table) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

It's my first Los Angeles earthquake! Which is exciting and TERRIFYING! This is me screaming in terror! (screams) And this is me getting under the table which is what you're suppose to do! EARTHQUAKE!!!!!

(whimpers) Help

Calm down. Calm down everyone. It wasn't a quake. The studio is just doing some construction.

AHHH! CONSTRUCTION!!! just kidding just kidding

Tawni

Finally! They're making some improvements around here. I guess somebody read the note I put in the demand box.

You mean the suggestion box?

Tawni

No.

Yes! They're building a weight room!

Even better! They're building a bait and tackle shop! Now I don't have to go downtown for my worms!

Not even close. Anybody else wanna guess?

A guillotine!

Ahhh. Even warmer!

Okay if a guillotine is closer then I don't want to guess anymore.

Okay okay! I'll tell ya! They're kicking you out of the prophouse!

SRSo Random Cast

WHAT?!?!

You see, I took a horrible situation and turned it into a fun little game!

No! You didn't! You took something horrible and took forever to tell it!

You're right. Look I'll make this next part quick and I won't sing it to you like I planed,You have 24 hours to pack up your things and leave

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(pointing to a magazine with Sonny and Hayden kissing on the cover) Who is this guy?!

Tawni

The love of my life!

(voice high)THEN WHY IS SHE KISSING HIM?!

Tawni

I DON'T KNOW!

I told you it was the kiss cam!

Sonny...

IT WAS THE KISS CAM!

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(Sonny and Tawni when Hayden walks over.)

Well, you know what, that's okay coz he's on his way over.

Tawni

What do you think he wants?!

(laughs) I don't know, but, just pretend he's a regular guy on the street!

Tawni

Guy on the street, guy on the street, guy on the-

HHayden

Hey Tawni!

Tawni

Don't touch my purse!

HHayden

Okay...Hey Sonny! (Sonny smiles awkwardly)

Maybe I should handle this! I'll figure out a way to get you guys together, okay?

Tawni

Okay. (Sonny walks out of the room) Watch your purse!

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Freeze!

Tawni

Don't touch my purse!

HHayden

Chad Dylan Cooper! This is awesome. What are you doing here?

I got a weird call from Sonny's cell. I heard screaming and crushing metal, so I cut my massage to an hour and rushed right over!

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Tawni, you know I'm doing the sketch with Chad.

Tawni

I know! thats what makes it so hilarious!

I don't wanna be doing any sketches with Chad, let alone one where I faint in his arms!

(Tawni snorts)

Tawni

That's even more hilarious! Stop! You're killing me! (continues laughing) Have fun rehearsing!

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That's your mom. OH MY GOSH your mom is your manager!

Tawni

Was.

TTammi

My own daughter is firing me!

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I once had a friend who was a little bloomer. She was only one merit badge shy of becoming a full grown blossom scout. [Starts having flash back]

MMrs. Mongergoure

Sonny Monroe, you will NEVER be a Blossom Scout!!! [Rips of Sonny's stouch. Sonny starts crying. Flashback ends and Sonny is still crying.]

My friend never got to realize her dream.

Tawni

I'm not really paying attention. And I can already tell this friend of yours is you.

Well would you or your friend like to buy a box of cookies?

You know what put me down for a box

ONE STINKING BOX I'M TRYING TO BREAK THE COOKIE SELLING RECORD!

It's the only record I don't currently hold!

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GGilroy

Please give it up for Chad Dylan Cooper!

Hey! (whispering) What are you doing here?

(coughs) I'm here promoting my book.

You wrote a book?

(scoffs) No, I read a book.

GGilroy

Hey, what are you two whispering about [pointing to Chad and Sonny] one of your "secret dates"?

I'm just here to talk about my book.

GGilroy

Actually you're not; I wanted you both here so I could get your reaction to this. Let's roll the clip!

[After clip]

Tawni

Whoa.

Where did you get that?

GGilroy

Didn't know you were being filmed, huh? Apparently someone in Mackenzie Falls doesn't like Sonny very much. So as we say on the show...GOTCHA!

What? You 'gotched' nothing, alright? That was totally taken out of context.

GGilroy

That's what I do! If I were to wait for things to be in context I would not have a show. Still, seems the two of you have little something, something going on... care to comment?

Yup! Right after this commercial break!

GGilroy

We're not taking a break.

Well, we are! Let's go. (drags Chad off stage)

Tawni

You're leaving me here by myself?

Yes.

Tawni

YES!

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Tawni

[After she steals Gilroy's remote and Gilroy tries to take it back]No no no! It's time for Tawni Talk! Have a seat!

[Gilroy sits down.]:

GGilroy

The camera's over there.

Tawni

Oh. Hey America!

[Gilroy takes back remote and turns on monitor.]:

Tawni

Hey!

That was so much easier to say than I thought it would be.

GGilroy

[Screams] What was easy? What did they say? I almost had them!

Tawni

Gotcha!

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These pants are so skinny!

Tawni's pants are squishing my gluttons maxmi moola!

(stands up)I signed up for a Walk-a-Thon. Not to have my internal organs crushed by Tawni's jeans!

(walks out of the photo booth and trying to button her jeans) I want my mommy jeans back!

This is impossible.

We have to make this work! The only way we can get Tawni to walk with us is for us to wear her jeans because her fans will see on TV us wearing her jeans which will raise money for more books and less money for no books and everybody wins except Chad!!!!!! Hey now that I got that out I can button my pants.

Well good for you because I'm never getting these things on.

Me neither.

Tawni

(walks in) Yes you will. Thanks to the Tawni Hart Butt Horn.

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Tawni

I don't know why you're packing, you're not going anywhere until you apologize!