[To support group] Thanks, thank you. Thank you. I just wanna say, before I go, this last month has been a great journey and one I couldn't have survived without all of you. Thank you. Thank you. [Support group murmurs] Um... I found myself alone in the woods on a snowy night, and there came a fork in the road... one, a path that led to addiction. The other...path also led to addiction, but I turned the sleigh around, and it has made all the difference. Wha-W-Walt Whitman has always been a personal favorite of mine. Anyway, I'm outta the woods, and I hope you all will join me there. I love you guys! Good-bye. [Laughs] Gimme five! Thank you, thank you! [Repeatedly] I love you... I'll see you all again!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Kevin and Veronica are walking past empty location with Kevin stopping to cup hands aside head and peer in]
What are you doing?
This place is for rent. We should call the number, check it out.
Why would we do that?
Because I need a thing.
You have a thing.
I need a thing. And it's right next door.
Why?
[Sighs] Oh, I'm finally comin' to terms with the fact that I'm never gonna play in the NBA.
You were never gonna play in the NBA.
Well, not now, V, because I'm retiring from basketball. I would think you'd be a little more compassionate.
We have so many other things to be thankful for.
Oh, like what?
You own a bar, you have a hot wife and two beautiful girls.
Okay, that is good. But where do I go from here, V? What is the next chapter of my life? Is there even a next chapter? Or is this just... it? Dry cleaner.
What?
We could open up a dry cleaner. No. Mattress store.
Uh-uh.
Think tank.
What the hell is a think tank?
It's where people sit around and think.
That's The Alibi.
Mickey's the bride?
Nope. Groom.
So you're the bride.
No. Also a groom.
Who's wearing the white tux?
Mickey.
Take your meds yet?
Yes.
Gonna be a stressful day.
Got it.
You picking those up?
Yeah.
Frank walking you down the aisle?
Grooms, remember?
Is he coming?
God, I hope not.
He's in Glencoe.
Great. I hope he stays there.
Hey. I gotta go out for a bit. You take your meds yet? It's gonna be a stressful day.
Yes. First thing.
All right. Hey, we gotta meet at the Bamboo Lotus at two for photos.
Okay. Got it.
Hey, how much did these tuxes cost?
Um, Mickey rented them at some fancy place downtown.
Where's Mickey getting all the money for this?
Savings, he says.
[Scoffs] "Savings"?
FMFlashback Mickey
[Bursts into a room full of underwear-clad women in a drug operation] On the floor, mοthеrfսckеr!
I don't really wanna know.
Father Pete marrying you?
Father Pete's Catholic. Pope won't let him marry gay people.
But Father Pete's gay. Lives in the rectory with the organist with the nipple ring.
Wait. The organist at Saint Sebastian's got a nipple ring?
Reverend Sally's doing the ceremony. She's Episcopalian. They'll marry anybody.
[Referring to shoes Liam is holding] Yeah, those are nice, right?
Mm-hmm. [Mickey and Ian kiss]
[At bathroom door with Carl brushing teeth] You get them anything for the wedding?
Yeah. Edible boxers.
Not very imaginative. I wanna get them something special, but no money.
You can go in on the boxers with me. They got a honeymoon car?
What's a honeymoon car?
A car you take to your honeymoon. Eh, they'll probably just stay at the Love Canal for the night, take a bus or something. [Sits on toilet] Hey, you might wanna... Mm-hmm. I'm gonna take a deuce.
Yep.
[Repeatedly] Dress.
No, sweetie. Hey, the wedding isn't till this afternoon, okay?
Please, Mommy. Now.
What is she on about?
She wants to wear her flower girl dress again.
Why the hell not? She's only gonna wear it once.
[Chuckles] Okay, sweetie. Go on.
Yay!
Uh, so... about last night.
Mm. [Sirens wailing distantly] Yeah. [Both chuckles] Cool. So... We gotta be at the Bamboo at nine for the flower delivery. And then the caterers are delivering the chairs and shit at ten.
So... You think your uncle's serious about shooting Mickey?
Serious as a heart attack. But he probably won't do it at the wedding. Too many witnesses. [Answers phone] He'll wait till Mickey's alone somewhere or walking to the L or... Holy sh- shit.
What?
It's on fire!
What's on fire?!
The Bamboo Lotus! It's on fire! Dude, it's on fսcking fire!
Fսck is going on?! Debs.
[Bursts out front door with Debbie, Ian, Mickey and Carl observing into smoke billowing in distance] Oh... fսck.
What the hell's going on?
What is that?
The Bamboo Lotus.
What?
The wedding place?
It's on fire.
Terry.
What do you think.
Motherf*****.
S***.
F***. Mickey.
[Following Mickey is walking out of house with shotgun] Mickey!
Terry Milkovich! You fսcking pig fսckеr!
Mickey!
Jesus, Mick!
I'm coming for you, you son of a bitch! What the fսck, Sandy?!
Give me the fսck¡ng gun, Mick! [Mickey fires off a shot that shatters van rear window]
Oh, shit. Ow! Shit!
Fucking...
Get the cuffs. You done? No! You gonna make me hit you again?
Fսck you, Gallagher!
Now are you done?
Yeah. Yeah. Shit.
Come on, Milo. Push that 60. There you go. Gotta work off that avocado "kumbacha" smoothie or whatever the fսck you drink. Jasper, are you kidding me? Can you go slower? Full rotations, man! Do you want your name under Pussy of the Day? Is that what you want, Jasper?
MMan
Is it safe if I [w:Tesla motors|park my Tesla out front]]?
Hell no, it ain't safe, Homer. This is the ghetto, man. Get in here and grab two kegs and give me 30 curls now.
AArlo
You Kevin?
The fսck do you think?
AArlo
Lorne sent me.
So? [Man retches in can] Way to go, Oscar. Puke is pride.
AArlo
I wanna join. Uh, you take Amex?
"Amex." Cash only! $50 per session up front, plus another $40 for the T-shirt. ATM is right there.
MMan
You're out of spring water.
I am? All right. Grab a sledge. Start working the wall. Willem! Get off the damn phone! If I see you on that thing one more time, it's going in the puke barrel. You hear me, fat boy?! Harder, Milo! Come on, man. Get it up.
What do you have them doing over there?
Bashin' a hole in the wall to connect the gym to The Alibi.
How long's that gonna take?
Ah, with my pasty propeller-heads swinging the hammers, twins'll be grandparents first, but I'm gonna finish the rest myself later.
What the hell are you doing?
Making natural spring water. My Keggers love to hydrate.
You don't sterilize the bottles first or anything?
No. Fսck those Facebook assholes. They need the germs, strengthen their oat milk-drinking immune systems.
What is oat milk?
The extra watery shit that sits on top when you make oatmeal.
Hey, V, can you get me some more of those $2 black T-shirts from Walmart and cut the sleeves off?
Sure. So this Keg Zone stuff is actually working?
I got 20 fully paid Keggers already. Plus, I'm starting an online thing where you can do it at home.
FVFrank voice over
[A montage of archival historical footage] Chicago, the city of broad shoulders, the Windy City, a city with a multitude of voices, languages, and a vibrant history. From the four corners of the Earth, people come to the city on the lake to work and help create a truly modern metropolis. Yep, from all four corners of the Earth, all right. Polacks and krauts and dagos and the lowest of the low, the Irish... starving spud famine refugees, like us Gallaghers. Every important moment in Chicago history, a Gallagher was there. The Chicago Fire, Mrs. O'Leary's cow, that was Great-Great-Grandma Gallagher's Holstein. The union stockyard workers, the poor bastards butchering 6,000 steers a day, covered in blood and shit, all Gallaghers. The Black Sox score-fixing scandal, a Gallagher. No, he wasn't a player. He was a gambler. Set the whole thing up. Made a bundle. Prohibition, Capone, you think it was all Italians? Hell no. It was Gallaghers that provided the homicidal muscle. The riots at the Democratic Convention in '68, yep, that was me. Part of the Chicago Eight.
AAlan
[Scene cuts to present with Alan holding boom mike] The Chicago Eight? I thought it was the Chicago Seven.
FVFrank voice over
It was eight. I was at a White Castle getting burgers for Abbie and the guys when the pigs broke in. So they only took seven and put 'em on trial. Where we're standing, right here, on Ashland Avenue, there were 20 bars on this block 100 years ago, each and every one of 'em owned by a Gallagher. Now we got three hipster coffee shops. It was seven before the COVID took down the weak. Chinamen did us a favor with that virus. Who the hell needs seven coffee shops? Hey, do you know why they call this part of the South Side back of the Yards?
AAlan
Sure, it was right behind the...
FVFrank voice over
No, no, not because it was behind the stockyards, because it was the back of the Gallagher yards. Every single house owned by a Gallagher.
AAlan
Is any of this true?
"Is any of this true"?! The Gallaghers built Chicago single-handedly. Come on, I'll take you to Leavitt Street. I'll show you the tenement where Paddy Gallagher wrote The Jungle.
[Lip and Tami are woken up by Freddie]
Oh, no, no. Let him cry. He's teething. [Tami groans] The hell does he need teeth for anyway?
I don't know. [Groans]
We could drug him.
Break up a downer or something.
Frank used to rub whiskey on our gums. [Tami laughs] Then he'd dump us in the tub.
Without water, I hope.
Not always.
[Sighs] I think I'm gonna die. [Lip laughs] Can you die from lack of sleep? Oh, my God. Okay. [Gets up and pats Lip's leg] I'll get him. You start coffee.
Why are you shaving your head?
'Cause I'm goin' bald.
But you're bald now, Kev.
Exactly. Now no one will know I was going bald. Science.
Isn't this exciting? Legal weed in Chicago? Can you believe it? Remember Diego, my roommate from the group home, the one with the glass eye? He got 20 years. Now we can just sell it right out in the open.
Not out in the open. We're not licensed yet. And we're supposed to be closed anyway.
You see that house with the "For Sale" sign? The Sons of Columbus burned a cross in the yard the first night the Jacksons moved in. But the Jacksons were tough. Used to be sharecroppers in Alabama. A racist bonfire didn't scare them. Mr. Jackson died of the 'VID last spring. He was a janitor over at Mercy. [Holds up almost empty slurpee cup] Getting a little dry here, laddie. [Alan rummages in backpack and holds up a bottle of J&B whiskey] My memory elixir! Hey... thanks for caring for what I have to say, by the way.
AAlan
Well, you're the only person who responded to my flyer. [Frank laughs]
[Reads off bus stop bench] "Units start as low as $170,000". [To Alan] Time was, you could've bought a whole block down here for that much money. Everything's changing. The Prius crowd is moving in, taking advantage of the folks who lost their jobs in the Corona hoax. Let's go over by the park. I'll show you where the best crack house in Chicago used to be, see if any of the old gang's still around.
[At kitchen table cleaning gun before flashback scenes] Hey, back up. What do I look like, the information lady? Hell, no. I'm a law enforcement officer, emphasis on the enforcement. You need to know what happened last week on Shameless? [Aims gun at viewer] Better go find someone who actually gives a shit.
[Jogging down street says to three youths in doorway] Watch out, crackheads! Coming back for you later! [To attempting auto thief] Making a mental note of your face, shitbag! [To three women] Watch it, ladies! Might haul your asses down to the station! Yeah, that's right! You're looking at the po-po! First day on the job!
[Knocking on bedroom doors] My birthday! Wake up! Wake up! I'm five!
[Franny comes down stairs] Hey, hey. Look who it is. The birthday girl.
[Sniffles, sighs] Presents?
Oh, no, no. It's not like Christmas, Franny. You're gonna get your presents tonight at your party. Oh. Hey. [Picks up Franny and carries her to kitchen] Come on. Let's go make some breakfast, huh? Whoof! Go sit! Yo, what up?
Why'd you guys sleep here last night?
Oh, the fumes at our new place from resurfacing the bathtub.
Good morning, Franny. Happy birthday.
Thank you.
These up for grabs?
No, don't touch.
Why?
I'm gonna sell them for cheap to the lunch debt kids.
What's a lunch debt kid?
Kids who run out of money on their food account. Can't eat the hot lunch till they pay up.
Is that even legal? Don't public schools have to feed the kids?
Yeah, but the lunch lady serves them gross shit like stale bread, government cheese, chunky pudding.
So you're capitalizing on the misfortunes of others by selling them your peanut butter sandwiches?
The American way. See you.
Hey, there's my sweet birthday princess! Who is five today?!
Me!
You?! [Tickles her] Ah!
I don't know! She looks like a big girl. Did you grow overnight? Are you sure you're not 15?
I am! I am!
Yeah, I knew you were.
Are you excited for your princess party?
I hate princesses!
What?! No, you don't!
I'm with Frans on this one.
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