It's a tragedy when a young man ends up behind prison bars.
Bad parenting.
Oh, don't blame yourself.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Yeah, man, shit got crazy. Have you ever done a shot off a coed who's using her ass crack as an ice luge?
No.
Oh, it's way hotter than it sounds. Anyway, this is Stacey, and this is Cassie. Or vice versa. They're wasted.
Dude, don't-- don't do something you're gonna regret, though.
Yeah? - I'm a gentleman, Lip. I'm just escorting them home.
GGirl
Our Rapewalker to the rescue.
No, please don't call me that.
A Rapewalker?
GGirl
Well, he brought us back to our room and made sure we didn't get raped.
I couldn't leave them alone with those lacrosse players.
...
Well, sucks to be you. College is so much better with no school.
What if he shows remorse?
What's that?
It means you say your sorry.
I'm not.
Lie.
Isn't lying in court illegal?
Just tell the judge what she wants to hear.
...
CSCarl's lawyer
You lost your dealer a lot of money. You don't think he's got friends in juvie who will make you pay? The police don't want you, they want your boss.
CSChuckie's lawyer
Happy to report Chuckie's IQ test came back. 71.
Is that good?
CSChuckie's lawyer
It's good for us. The judge might take pity on him, go easy on his sentence.
Did you hear that, Chuckie? You scored a 71. Better than you ever did in school. So he'll get off with probation?
CSChuckie's lawyer
I didn't say that.
My boy can't go to juvie.
CSChuckie's lawyer
I'm doing everything I can.
You better be. What the hell are we paying you for?
CSChuckie's lawyer
The state pays me.
Yeah, and who do you think's part of the state? Me.
CSChuckie's lawyer
Ms. Slott, your son was caught with 10 pounds of heroin on him. Literally, the evidence was strapped to his body. Even if he is functionally retarded, he's getting time. I'm sorry.
Chuckie. [He's too engrossed in his handheld game to heed her] Mommy needs to talk to you. Chuckie. Chuckie! Put down the fucking game. Chuckie, you've always been my little bunny. Cute, round, and so innocent. But in prison, little bunnies get raped. Do you know what that means? It's when big, scary men pretend you're a woman. I'm not gonna be there in juvie to protect you, so you need to listen very carefully. Make friends in there. Do things for them, so they'll protect you. Anything it takes. Like making them feel good. Do you understand? Like touching them. [The lawyer gasps] Jerk the guards off, Chuckie, in exchange for protection. Do you know how to jerk a guard off? I'll teach you.
[Over arguing with Veronica whether he's entitled to a drink on the house] When did your heart get as black as your skin?! [Veronica then stares at him in total disbelief then Bianca intervenes, offering to pay for his drink]
[To Bianca] Do the world a favor. Kevorkian his ass!
God, where were you with all that carpe diem crap when I was in my 20s?
Um, this seat mostly. Couple of crack houses. Woke up in Mexico once. Couple months after I got there. Living life to the fullest. Wouldn't trade a day.
In my mother's day, they'd say someone like you was being smart.
In my day, they just say I'm being an asshole.
But an asshole that knows how to make a hell of an impression.
And you look like a Schiele self-portrait.
A what?
It's a shame you're leaving school. You're a smart one.
Like smart-smart or asshole-smart?
Both. Close the door on the way out. What are you doing? Why call Financial Aid?
I mean, why take such an interest?
Well, it's my job to take an interest in my students. I'm not sure what you think you're doing, but there's a policy against fraternizing with your professors.
Oh, I don't want to fraternize. I-I wanna fuck you.
What the hell do you want?
Oh, Carl, always giving your big sis a hard time. Thank you for letting me visit my little bro. Heard you're planning on setting my boy on fire.
First chance I get. He dimed on me.
You will not touch one hair on his head. Do you understand?
You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch.
[Sammi leaps over table, knocking Carl to ground, gets on top of him and starts pounding his face]
Hey, you got any old clothes for Carl? Shirt with a collar. Nice shoes. Something that doesn't scream "I'm a gangster. Lock me up. Throw away the key"?
[Frank and Bianca meet Yaz the street drug dealer]
Yaz, my man!
YYaz
You're still alive? [Frank laughs]
Death, taxes, and Frank Gallagher. My lady friend and I would like to buy some of your finest herb.
YYaz
Only got one kind.
Well, then, that makes it your finest.
[Frank and Bianca are buying from Yaz]
Hands in the air! I'm a fucking cop! I'm-- I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. We'll take the drugs now.
[Kev answers a phone call while lying in bed in a dorm room]
DGDrunk girl
I'm at the cantina. You-- you can't miss me. I'm just-- I'm on the floor next to the pool table.
You're on the floor? It's the middle of the afternoon.
DGDrunk girl
Sure, I'll have another shot!
No, don't have another shot. [Sighs] I'm on my way.
DGDrunk girl
Thank you, Rapewalker.
Oh, please don't call me that.
SStudent
Where the hell have you been?
I know you assume that my sole purpose at this school is to cater to your sorry ass, but I have a life, all right? So unless you got 6 grand in cash, make it fast.
SStudent
Dude, you smell like pussy.
What do you want?
SStudent
That prick Joaquin stole my weed.
Joaquin, room 226? How do you know?
SStudent
Had my laptop camera on.
And what? He broke in?
SStudent
Well, the door was open while I was playing Call Of Duty with Marty Fizer.
Okay, so next time just lock your fucking door, genius.
SStudent
That's it? My parents don't shell out 60 grand for me to get robbed.
What do you want me to do-- you want me to call the cops and tell them somebody stole your pot?
SStudent
Do something.
You have not lived until you've heard the bones of your enemy being crushed under 3,000 pounds of Detroit steel.
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