I wanted to catch a movie tomorrow, and he's having dinner with a friend.
SSue
Oh, well... nothing to be worried about there.
Yeah. I don't know. He was acting kind of weird.
I don't know, it's just a feeling, like maybe he wasn't telling the truth. You gotta trust those instincts.
SSue
Met this guy online, started dating him for months. Turns out he was married and he had kids. I mean, can you believe that shit?
SSue
I stalked him on Valentine's Day when he bailed on me, gave me some sh*t about his mother having a stroke.
SSue
Turns out he was living this whole other life.
SSue
Kicked his ass. I got him into bed, I tied him up, and I super glued his dick to his leg and I wrote "lying slut" on his chest with a Sharpie. [Ian laughs] And let me tell you something. That shit doesn't come off.
He must have been pretty pissed.
SSue
Oh, he called me a couple months later, told me he'd gotten a divorce.
Yeah? You ever see him again?
SSue
That was Joe. I guess he really liked my spirit.
SSue
Well, lookee here, Mr. Popularity. Mr. Mr. Viral Sensation.
SSue
Mr. King of the Queens.
Kind of hoping they'll lose interest.
SSue
Yeah, well, there's more and more of them every day. They're blocking the garage door. I'm gonna have to park the ambulance outside by the curb so I don't accidentally run somebody over. What do they even want?
Guess they just want to be seen by... someone who sees 'em back.
SSue
Please. Looks to me like they want to douse you in syrup and slurp you up with a spoon.
[Liam walks to house and opens front door]
AAddie
Get that Cuban outta my house!
SSue
Addie! Don't be rude. You have a guest. She's harmless. Just Alzheimer's mixed with full-blown racism.
Hi, I'm Liam. I come in peace, ma'am.
AAddie
Liam? What kind of name is that? Guatemalan? Get his Guat ass outta here!
SSue
Sorry, maybe this isn't a good time for her.
MMaVar
It's me! MaVar! Your favorite great-nephew! [Laughs] What's up, little lady? Yeah! Hey, got you some doughnu- [Jerks doughnut box away as Addie reaches for it and hands it to Sue] Ah. There you go. Who's this little tyke?
She was the half-sister to Omar's cousin.
MMaVar
[Chuckles] You're Frank Gallagher's boy. Yeah, uh, listen. You're not welcome here, Liam. You gotta understand that Frank and Monica wronged this family 20 ways since Tuesday. I mean, sued Addie for a loose handrail on the porch; opened credit cards in all our names; stole our Chevy Malibu; made meth in the bathroom upstairs.
No, I get it. But I'm just the only black person in a house full of crackers. But that's not on you. Thank you for your time. [Laughs]
MMaVar
Hold up. A black man in need is a black man in need. [Sighs] I see you. And you need guidance. A Sherpa... someone like me.
MMaVar
Nope. That's- no holla. Never holla. Now, just sit your ass down.
Shameless · 903 quotes
