Sue and Ian in “Unfinished Business”

You're quiet today.

Ian

Uh... stuff at home.

Your fireman?

Ian

I wanted to catch a movie tomorrow, and he's having dinner with a friend.

Oh?

Ian

A woman.

Oh, well... nothing to be worried about there.

Ian

Yeah. I don't know. He was acting kind of weird.

How so?

Ian

I don't know, it's just a feeling, like maybe he wasn't telling the truth. You gotta trust those instincts.

Met this guy online, started dating him for months. Turns out he was married and he had kids. I mean, can you believe that shit?

Ian

How'd you find out?

I stalked him on Valentine's Day when he bailed on me, gave me some sh*t about his mother having a stroke.

Ian

Uh-huh.

Turns out he was living this whole other life.

Ian

What'd you do?

Kicked his ass. I got him into bed, I tied him up, and I super glued his dick to his leg and I wrote "lying slut" on his chest with a Sharpie. [Ian laughs] And let me tell you something. That shit doesn't come off.

Ian

He must have been pretty pissed.

Oh, he called me a couple months later, told me he'd gotten a divorce.

Ian

Yeah? You ever see him again?

I married him.

Ian

That was Joe?

That was Joe. I guess he really liked my spirit.

Ian

Huh.