I am so glad. I hate flying during the holidays. The traffic getting back from the Universe is always vacuum to vacuum.
You mean Halloween might actually be fun this year? Not that Grandpa’s game of "Find My Teeth" isn’t without it’s charms...
S2A River of Candy Corn Runs Through It
My Mom and Dad say I’ve got to take my little brother and his friends trick or treating.
You're kidding! Did they just spring this on you?
Yeah! They just now reminded me that they told me about it two weeks ago.
How do we get to be friends with those guys?
I think we’d have to fill out a form. Do you know what I’d say to Asher if he talked to me?
What?
[weakly] Hello.
That would take guts.
A couch who's allergic to cats? Finally, someone whose life is more pathetic than mine!
S2Inna-Gadda-Sabrina
[Hilda and Zelda are meditating and the phone rings]
I hear bells... Have I reached Nirvana?
It's the phone.
[disapointed] Oh...
HDHippie Driver
Did that cat just talk? Or am I picking up his thoughts telepathically?
You're right. You can read my mind. And now you're sensing my great need to stop in Philadelphia for a cheese-steak.
HDHippie Driver
I’m communicating with animals! This is so radical.
Just drive, Woodstock boy.
S2Witch Trash
RRacine
Lord have mercy, look at the number of towels!
BBoyd
It’s like there’s one towel for each person!
GGreat Grandma
Oh Racine, I know you're unhappy, but it was fair. Now, Hilda and Zelda got the Magic Book, and you got what you chose: all my money.
They got all of great grandma’s money?
Yep, and they bought a mansion and a jet, and several butlers...
Don’t forget tiaras for Maw Maw.
...And then, all the money was gone.
RRacine
We didn’t just spend it, [proudly] we invested some of it!
BBoyd
Yeah, who knew chihuahua racing wouldn’t take off.
Uh, everyone?
S2To Tell a Mortal
[Salem gives several laughs and guffaws]
It's not funny, Salem.
[walks into the kitchen] Good morning. [screams at her first look at Salem, startling Zelda, while Salem keeps laughing] Why did Salem startle me?
It's Friday the 13th, the day that black witch cats have the power to scare the living daylights out of people.
You should've seen your face! [wheezing with laughter] I gotta stop laughing or milk's gonna come out of my nose! Oh, here comes Hilda, act normal. [Hilda walks in, reading the newspaper] Uh, good morning, Hilda. [Hilda gets scared just as Sabrina did; Salem laughs more]
Aww, Happy Friday the 13th, Salem.
Aunt Hilda, a bat just flew out of your mouth.
Oh, how embarrassing. I have "bat breath" again.
Have you been eating pomegrantes?
Well, I know they don't agree with me, but I had just such a craving for that juicy crimson pulp...
Why didn't you guys tell me that there's a rule that on Friday the 13th I can tell a mortal I'm a witch?
Oh, the one where you can tell anyone you want and they can know for a whole twenty-four hours?
Yes.
We didn't want you to know.
S2Oh What a Tangled Spell She Weaves
You really have to get it exactly right the first time; otherwise, there may be side effects. I remember one time I was making rum balls and I got tired, so I made a "Make Everything Round" spell... Well, let's just say you can thank me for Columbus Day.
S2Sabrina Claus
So I can’t decide whether to shoot for (a) The computer and the mountain bike, (b) The computer and the ski jacket or, (c) All of the above.
Boy, I’d hate to be there if you got a savings bond...
Hi Harvey.
Hey Libby, got any plans for the holidays?
Like it matters; I hate Christmas.
What’s your take on Kwanzaa?
I usually like all the presents, but this year I have to be around my bratty step-brother, Russell.
[surprised] Really? Your family has a brat in it?
Colours with my lipstick, drips chocolate on my stuff and he can cry on cue... [notices Sabrina] What’s your problem, Freak? Hoping Santa will give you a personality this year? [walks off]
And a crossbow!
We have a problem, our niece Sabrina has a case of Egotitis.
BBob
Yeah? That’s not your only problem...
It isn’t?
BBob
Nah - You’ve got one sorry looking Christmas tree.
It looked better with presents.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sabrina, the Teenage Witch pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.