[Hilda and Zelda are meditating and the phone rings]
I hear bells... Have I reached Nirvana?
It's the phone.
[disapointed] Oh...
S2Inna-Gadda-Sabrina
HDHippie Driver
Did that cat just talk? Or am I picking up his thoughts telepathically?
You're right. You can read my mind. And now you're sensing my great need to stop in Philadelphia for a cheese-steak.
HDHippie Driver
I’m communicating with animals! This is so radical.
Just drive, Woodstock boy.
S2Witch Trash
RRacine
Lord have mercy, look at the number of towels!
BBoyd
It’s like there’s one towel for each person!
GGreat Grandma
Oh Racine, I know you're unhappy, but it was fair. Now, Hilda and Zelda got the Magic Book, and you got what you chose: all my money.
They got all of great grandma’s money?
Yep, and they bought a mansion and a jet, and several butlers...
Don’t forget tiaras for Maw Maw.
...And then, all the money was gone.
RRacine
We didn’t just spend it, [proudly] we invested some of it!
BBoyd
Yeah, who knew chihuahua racing wouldn’t take off.
Uh, everyone?
S2To Tell a Mortal
[Salem gives several laughs and guffaws]
It's not funny, Salem.
[walks into the kitchen] Good morning. [screams at her first look at Salem, startling Zelda, while Salem keeps laughing] Why did Salem startle me?
It's Friday the 13th, the day that black witch cats have the power to scare the living daylights out of people.
You should've seen your face! [wheezing with laughter] I gotta stop laughing or milk's gonna come out of my nose! Oh, here comes Hilda, act normal. [Hilda walks in, reading the newspaper] Uh, good morning, Hilda. [Hilda gets scared just as Sabrina did; Salem laughs more]
Aww, Happy Friday the 13th, Salem.
Aunt Hilda, a bat just flew out of your mouth.
Oh, how embarrassing. I have "bat breath" again.
Have you been eating pomegrantes?
Well, I know they don't agree with me, but I had just such a craving for that juicy crimson pulp...
Why didn't you guys tell me that there's a rule that on Friday the 13th I can tell a mortal I'm a witch?
Oh, the one where you can tell anyone you want and they can know for a whole twenty-four hours?
Yes.
We didn't want you to know.
S2Oh What a Tangled Spell She Weaves
You really have to get it exactly right the first time; otherwise, there may be side effects. I remember one time I was making rum balls and I got tired, so I made a "Make Everything Round" spell... Well, let's just say you can thank me for Columbus Day.
S2Sabrina Claus
So I can’t decide whether to shoot for (a) The computer and the mountain bike, (b) The computer and the ski jacket or, (c) All of the above.
Boy, I’d hate to be there if you got a savings bond...
Hi Harvey.
Hey Libby, got any plans for the holidays?
Like it matters; I hate Christmas.
What’s your take on Kwanzaa?
I usually like all the presents, but this year I have to be around my bratty step-brother, Russell.
[surprised] Really? Your family has a brat in it?
Colours with my lipstick, drips chocolate on my stuff and he can cry on cue... [notices Sabrina] What’s your problem, Freak? Hoping Santa will give you a personality this year? [walks off]
And a crossbow!
We have a problem, our niece Sabrina has a case of Egotitis.
BBob
Yeah? That’s not your only problem...
It isn’t?
BBob
Nah - You’ve got one sorry looking Christmas tree.
It looked better with presents.
Do you realise what you’ve done?!
What, Bob’s going to sue?
No! He’s Santa Claus!
[horrified] What?!
That’s right - you’ve just maimed Father Christmas!
So, I guess I’m not the only one not getting presents this year...
S2Little Big Kraft
QMrs. Quick
Mr. Kraft, the students need lunch, and they need it now!
[digging into his pocket] Well, I have two rolls, a jaw breaker and... [pulls the gum from his mouth and holds it up] some ABC gum and I’m willing to share.
S2Five Easy Pieces of Libby
Well, I’ll be using me as shorthand for us. I’ve already got the floral design in my head.
Oh, well I’m glad your butt is working. Oh, I’ll be using butt as shorthand for your head.
S2Finger Lickin' Flu
I'm too weak to lie, I didn't wear my mittens.
[Zelda feels Sabrina's forehead]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sabrina, the Teenage Witch pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.