Michael Cole quotes from Royal Rumble

John Cena's been in the match the longest, over 25 minutes thus far. Batista, remember, entered at #30, Edge at #29.

Well, HBK entered at #18, so he has to be in at least a minute longer than... [As he says this, Batista charges Cena, who grabs the top rope and pulls it down, sending Batista over to elimination] ...CENA! OH!

Batista eliminated!

John Cena, a little payback from 2005. John Cena has eliminated Batista. We are now down to two.

[as Edge preps from the other side of the ring] Watch your back, John.

Here it is. [...but Cena catches him with a knee] Look at him take advantage. Cena...saw it coming... [Cena charges Edge, but Edge steps aside and tosses him out of the ring, winning the Rumble] OH NO! EDGE HAS DONE IT! EDGE HAS DONE IT! EDGE IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2010 Royal Rumble: The Rated-R Superstar, Edge!

Oh, my God! On this day, I see clearly. The Ultimate Opportunist, Edge, is going to WrestleMania!

I cannot believe it, ladies and gentlemen. Edge wasn't supposed to be here. Edge wasn't supposed to be back in action for months, and he came from out of nowhere, and he entered at #29, and he eliminated John Cena, and he's won the Royal Rumble match!

[as Edge is about to spear Dolph Ziggler while the referee and Vickie are out cold] He can't do this!

Oh, yes he can!

No, he can't! It's illegal!

Remember, if a tree falls in the woods and no one's there to hear it, it never happened.

Somebody had to see that! Ref, get up! Edge isn't hurt! Edge is acting, he deserves an Oscar nomination here! Come on, ref, you fool!

[as the ref slowly gets up] This is great.

How did the ref not see that?!

What do you mean, "how did the referee not see that"? The ref was knocked down, Vickie Guerrero's knocked down.

This is ridiculous! This is a travesty!

Somebody wake Vickie Guerrero up. She definitely needs to see this.

Look at this! A little shout-out to his buddy!

The cover. [The referee counts to three] You've gotta be kidding me!

It's too damn bad the Oscar nominations came out last week, because this man would be a frontrunner for Best Actor!

How many times had Vickie Guerrero slapped, punched, and done all those things to Edge? I don't think that Edge...I don't know how he kept his composure. But right here, he realized Vickie Guerrero was down; he looked over, he saw the referee down.

But this is illegal! The spear is illegal!

The cat's away, the mice will play. The teacher didn't see it, I didn't do it!

The Miz does not even realize that he's won.

It doesn't matter, he's still the WWE Champion. He's retained the WWE Championship.

The Miz, fat lip and all, is asking the referee what happened. You gonna tell me, Cole, the Miz is gonna be a proud WWE Champion after that?

He should be proud—he's still the WWE Champ.

What's interesting about Daniel Bryan is that he spent twelve years honing his craft, toiling in the minor leagues; imagine what it would mean for Daniel Bryan to go to WrestleMania.

Minor leagues???

Yeah, before he came to the WWE, everything's the minor leagues.

Well, for CM Punk, he's in the big time now. CM Punk, the three-time World Champion and about to go to school on this dork Daniel Bryan.

Yeah, if what you is right, then CM Punk was in the minor leagues.

Yeah, this is...a lot of the Internet loves this match-up right now.

The Internet loves this, the Internet loves that. Who cares about the stupid Internet?!

Say what you want, this is not what the Royal Rumble is about.

Why not?!

The Royal Rumble is supposed to be about every man for himself.

King, you would do this.

No I would not.

You would do this.

Yeah, if I could find four or five suckers that would play along with it, I might.

Just call up Mid-South.

Holy sh...!

You've gotta be kidding me! Big Daddy Cool Diesel!

WHAT?!

Diesel's back! Diesel's here! 6'11", 311 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan!

This is what it's all about! You never know who's gonna show up!

The former WWE Champion...

Look at the faces!

Look at your face.

King, who will ever forget in 1994 when Diesel entered the Rumble match and eliminated seven men! Nearly seven feet tall! Diesel's back!

You win the Royal Rumble, you headline WrestleMania. You have a choice—which championship do you go after? Which match do you want to be in?

You gotta win the Royal Rumble match first. One of these men looking to live their dreams...[Randy Orton eliminates Wade Barrett] Wade Barrett eliminated...

Yes, do it! Do it!

YEAH!

Del Rio! Del Rio! Del Rio! Del Rio does it!

Vaya con dios, Alberto Del Rio!

Cabas y caballeros, su ganador de Royal Rumble eras ALBERTOOO DEL RIIIOOO! (Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the Royal Rumble is Alberto Del Rio!)

Alberto Del Rio is going to WrestleMania!

I can't believe it. I can assure you I would've never made this...[Mike Chioda talks with Alberto in the ring after Santino re-enters] whoa, wait a minute.

Folks, remember, King, remember what you said earlier. Remember what you said earlier. Santino was never eliminated, remember? He never went over the top rope! He went underneath the bottom rope!

Santino's still in this... [Alberto turns around and walks into Santino's Cobra]

The Cobra! The Cobra! Oh my God! Oh my God! The biggest upset in Rumble history! This is gonna be the biggest upset in Rumble history!

Throw him out, Santino! Throw him out!

Santino is gonna go to WrestleMania! Oh my God, you gotta be kidding me!

No, this is great!

You gotta be kidding me!

Del Rio!

One more time! Alberto Del Rio is on his way to the main event at WrestleMania!

Viva Del Rio! Viva Del Rio!

Can I press 1 for English?

The thing is, Kane says Cena and, in turn, the WWE Universe not embracing hate is a cowardly act. And that's the words of Kane. They live lives filled with delusions, they all wanna cheer for John Cena or at least be a part of his life, or they wanna boo him. They want to live vicariously through Cena. That is a cowardly way out, in Kane's estimation.

Well, if you're gonna try to make sense out of anything that Kane thinks, good luck.

[after John Laurinaitis ejects Vickie Guerrero from ringside] Remember, CM Punk defeated Jack Swagger a couple of weeks ago. With that victory, it ensured that Swagger and Guerrero would not be at ringside for this match-up. Great move by Laurinaitis.

I just think he's sucking up.

Here we go, Punk roll-up, shoulders down, and a kick-out. Sucking up? He followed the rules, Booker. I mean, give the man some credit for once in your life. What, did you have an issue back in the day of WCW with Johnny? That's why you're all upset with this man? Because he was a better worker than you? Because he was a better wrestler than you?

[clearly in disbelief] What? You gotta be kidding me.

I mean, come on now. John Laurinaitis is...he's awesome!

You're talking about a guy who has done nothing in this business, right?

Who, John? He was a world champion in Japan. That's what he was.

In Japan.da

Yes.

In the world of Japan.

Yeah, the world of Japan.

John Laurinaitis right now... I know you say he's got a lot of things on his plate, a lot of things to take care and be concerned with, but he's got his phone out, he's texting out here.

He just texted me to tell me what a wonderful job I'm doing tonight and how glad he is to have me calling the Rumble.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

What the hell?

Alberto Del Rio's back! Alberto Del Rio, last year's Royal Rumble match winner, is back! [Car horn honks] Oh, this is gonna be awesome!

What is that?!

What the hell? We got an old 280 Datsun? 280ZX?

Hey, that's not Alberto Del Rio! Look!

Worth about $600.

[as the driver reveals himself to be...] Is that... is that Ricardo?!

I don't know, but his back window is a Hefty bag.

It's Del Rio's personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez.

And that's his car?!

Well, yeah, you know, he's...never been champion.

Wow, a vintage 1985 Datsun 280Z.

Kofi in trouble from the top rope.

He needs a little bit of help right now. Kofi needs a little help.

Yes, he does, and you know what? What would a Royal Rumble be without a little royalty?!

What the hell?!

[as Jerry removes his headset and sweatshirt] You've gotta be kidding me! What are you doing?!

You didn't tell me you was in it, King!

Where are you going?! This is ridiculous!

[as Jerry delivers big right hands to the Miz and Cody Rhodes] I mean, come on, now! How did Lawler-- Why is he in this matchup? Can you imagine Jerry Lawler main-eventing WrestleMania?

Yeah, I can imagine it! I can imagine him being the Champion, as well.

[Jerry lifts up the Miz] I'm sure you can, and look at Lawler and Miz, who have had a long-standing rivalry. [Jerry bodyslams the Miz]

BIG slam by the King! King dropping on it, baby! Drop the strap, that's what I want to see. [Jerry climbs to the middle turnbuckle]

Lawler has no business being in this match.

I want to see King drop the strap! I want to see him drop-- [Jerry removes his shoulder strap] Ohhh, here we go!

Come on!

[Jerry jumps and drops a fist on the Miz] Vintage King right there, baby!

Oh, now you're stealing my lines!

As we get ready for #17.

Who's it gonna be?

WHAT?!

NOW YOU?!?!?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!! NOW YOU?!

Go get em, Booker! Go get em, sucka!

Kofi still alive. Hands on the floor. Remember, both feet have to hit the floor. [Miz pushes Kofi's legs away] Oh, my God. Dangerous situation.

Oh, look at this!

Oh, my God.

LOOK AT THIS!

[as Kofi lands his feet on the steps, crawls backwards onto them, and reenters the ring] ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

He saved himself!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Kofi Kingston, what a move!

That's gotta be the greatest thing I've ever seen!

[laughs] Even you admit it, huh?!