Michael Cole quotes from Royal Rumble

[on CM Punk] They say he doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs; I call that boring, But that's okay, he's real talented.

But he's a hell of an athlete...

He's a great athlete. Obviously doesn't have much of a social life.

King Booker claiming he never got his one-on-one rematch with Batista...

"Claiming"?! He never got his one-on-one rematch! That guy right there got robbed of the World Championship. He should be the one fighting Batista, not having to come out here in the Royal Rumble, but what he has the opportunity to do—[as Booker eliminates Gregory Helms] Goodbye, Gregory Helms, see you later!—what he has the opportunity to do is add one more accolade to a Hall of Fame career!

And the Hardys, who have a long history with Edge, going to work on Rated-RKO.

Well, they stole all their girlfriends.

[King Booker eliminates Kane, even though Kane already eliminated him] It's legal to bring a Singapore cane in there, it's legal to bring a chair in there, it's legal to come back in and you can do it!

So...so, does that mean Kane's eliminated?

Kane is eliminated, he's over the top rope, Kane is out!

This is ridiculous!

It's not ridiculous, it's fact, Michael! It is what it is!

Uh-oh!

Here comes Visagra.

But I don't think he's bringing any love to the Royal Rumble.

Booker and Kane are still going at it here at ringside! Booker incensed that the Big Red Machine eliminated him...

How the hell could he not be incensed? He should have never had to been in the Royal Rumble anyway!

Oh, come on, John, call the damn match!

Takes a cheap shot at him and throws him out!

That's part of the match and you know it!

He should've had...he should not have had to been in the Royal Rumble, Michael! I'm begging you to be unbiased!

Is there anybody in there capable of lifting Viscera over the top rope?

Like I said before, seven men it took in Viscera's debut.

I don't know how many men Viscera's gonna eat.

JBL, did Michael Cole just compare Rob Van Dam to Gumby?

I said he was Gumby-like.

Disgusting. I deal with this every week.

Here comes Miz, at #29.

Miz?!

Don't worry, King, I hate him too.

And Miz... [The Great Khali picks Miz up and tosses him out of the ring, eliminating him] Well, he may have set a record.

The Warlord had the record at three seconds—did Miz just beat it?

[The Great Khali has eliminated seven men, and four lie in the ring] The power, the strength, who can stop the Great Khali?!

Absolutely nobody.

[as the buzzer sounds for entry #30] I'd have second thoughts about coming out...

Here we go!

Maybe there is someone! Maybe there is someone! The legendary Phenom, the Undertaker!

But nobody has come in at #30 and won the Royal Rumble ever.

It's never happened, but Undertaker has faced, he has battled, he has taken out Khali before.

The roof is about to blow off this place!

It doesn't get any better than this!

Throw some gasoline on the fire! My God, I love it!

Who would believe that the 20th Royal Rumble, the most star-studded, is quite frankly the best of them all?!

JBL, right now, who do you think? Who's got the most gas left in the tank?

[as Shawn prepares to superkick the Undertaker] This is how Shawn Michaels eliminated Diesel! Here we go!

Shawn Michaels eliminated Edge like that! [Undertaker catches him] Went for Sweet Chin Music! Got caught! [Undertaker picks him up, and throws him out, winning the Rumble] And Undertaker has eliminated Shawn Michaels! Undertaker is going to WrestleMania!

Oh my gosh!

Here is your winner of the 2007 Royal Rumble: The Undertaker!

For the first time in his illustrious career, the Undertaker has won the Royal Rumble match!

Going to WrestleMania, the main event. The Undertaker, 14-0 in WrestleMania!

What?!

Wait a minute! What the hell?!

What is this?!

IT'S JOHN CENA! JOHN CENA!

Oh my gosh!

#30!

This is unbelievable!

You gotta be kiddin' me!

Oh, my God!

Triple H's expression told the entire story!

The roof is exploding off of Madison Square Garden! John Cena, the 30th entrant in the Royal Rumble match! And, yes, indeed, business just picked up!

All the action has stopped in the ring! You've got to be kidding me!

John Cena just told Triple H, "It's go time!"

[after Punk eliminates JTG] You know what the bad news there is, don't you? We're gonna have to listen to CM Punk again.

No, nothing wrong with that.

As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, not everybody can win the Royal Rumble match, just like not everyone can be saved. There are people here tonight that cannot, that will not ever have the reserve and dedication in their heart to follow in my footsteps. [The clock counts down again] Tonight I become the first ever straight edge Royal Rumble match winner.

Oh boy! The Punjabi Playboy.

Let's see if CM Punk can curry favor with the Great Khali.

7'3", 420 pounds, making his fourth Rumble appearance.

CM Punk looking at his Mary Magdalene, Serena. How is Punk going to deal with the Great Khali?

Great Khali, Great Khali, Great Khali, I can save you. Great Khali, I can make you...I can make you greater! I can see the pain in your eyes—you need to be saved! Please, Great Khali, raise your right hand! [Great Khali raises his right hand] Do you accept straight edge into your life?

The straight edge chop.

CM Punk was only trying to save the Great Khali, but...[Khali starts crushing Punk's head] All Khali has to do is pick Punk up and throw him over the top rope.

The skull enveloped in those hands of Khali

Who's gonna save CM right now?

[as the clock counts down] Who will enter at #6?

Could crush his head like a grape.

That's Beth Phoenix.

The Glamazon! Just the second woman in Rumble history.

Are you serious?

[as Phoenix stares into Khali's eyes] Every Superstar is eligible but...really? [Khali picks her up and places her over the top rope onto the apron, pointing her to go back] Khali's the Punjabi Playboy. Gentle.

Chivalry is not dead.

Why does Khali get all the good stuff?! [Phoenix pulls the Great Khali onto the floor, eliminating him, and gets back in the ring] Never trust a woman, look at that!

Beth Phoenix has eliminated the Great Khali!

Awaiting #20...

WOOOOOWWWWWW!!! [continues over]

Sweet Chin Music!

Oh my God!

Shawn Michaels has eliminated Triple H! It is indeed every man for himself!

#29 on his way.

Who's gonna join these guys? [buzzer sounds; Jericho gives a shocked look as Edge's music plays.]

HOLY–!!

WHAT?!

OH MY!! The Rated:-R Superstar! The former World Champion!

What?!

[referring to the immense cheers of Edge's return] Listen to the ovation!

It is thunderous in the Phillips Arena!

After what many thought to be a career-threatening injury, Edge has returned!

Look out, here comes Edge!

Both hang on, both hang on. For a moment. But look at...teetering precariously on the apron. Oh, this is dangerous. This is dangerous for both of these men.

Whoa! Back into the ring, though!

Sweet Chin Music... [Batista attacks Michaels from behind, who still hangs on by one hand] Batista ambushing Michaels! [Batista knocks Michaels's hand away and Michaels falls to the floor, getting eliminated] NO!!!

NO!!!

Shawn Michaels eliminated.

Hearts have been broken right now. Everyone wanted to see Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker, the rematch

[as Michaels reenters the ring, referee Charles Robinson following him] What's he doing? He can't...

Shawn Michaels has been eliminated.

Get out! Get out! It's over, Shawn. Get out! All right? It's over. Get out.

You don't understand!

I can't help you! You went over the rope! What do you want me to do about it?! Let's go!

Shawn, you gotta go. You gotta go.

This match meant everything to Shawn Michaels. [An inconsolable Michaels leaves the ring and makes his way up the aisle] It's the one thing in Shawn Michaels' career that he's never achieved.

That man, Batista.

Let's not lose sight of what this night is about, though—the road to WrestleMania.

Yeah, but I'm worried about Shawn here.

GOD!!! Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!

I can not help but feel for him. We are down to three, ladies and gentlemen; let's refocus on what's at hand.