A character in Royal Rumble
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Royal Rumble: in 37 of its 309 quotes
Most scenes with: Gorilla Monsoon (32), Howard Finkel (3)
[Roddy Piper saves Flair from a Jake Roberts DDT]
I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy. It's a kilt. It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.
[Not long after, Piper attacks Flair]
You no-good creep! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!
I'm soaking wet, I need something to drink. Hey, you, stupid, get me something to drink!
Last time I saw Tugboat... Typhoon... Buffoon, whatever he is, run that fast is when they opened up a lunch line at the free buffet.
Now remember that, when a man sticks his hand out to shake hands with you, you shake it...and then kick him really hard when he's not looking.
Look at the New Foundation, they must've just got up.
What do you mean they just got up?
They still got their pajamas on.
I'm going to tell them you said that.
I don't care.
Since Ric Flair is the real world's champion, he shouldn't even be in the rumble. He should face the winner. That would be fair. If you want to be fair to Flair,
Don't start with that fair to Flair to me!
And at this time, to make a brief statement prior to the Rumble’s beginning, it gives me great a great deal of pleasure to introduce to you the esteemed president of the World Wrestling Federation, Mr. Jack Tunney! [Tunney enters and the crowd boos]
Ol’ Jack "On the Take" Tunney.
Quiet!
Thank you very much Howard. I would like to take this opportunity to officially welcome everyone who is watching this spectacular event with us. This is a very big undertaking for the WWF. The winner of the R—uh, this event will not only have the prestige of beating 29 other men but also be declared the undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion.
[impatient] Come on let’s go!
Keep your pants on.
I would like to say, in closing, may the best man win! Thank you.
Yeah, yeah yeah.
Thank you Mr. President.
He’s been the best president since Noriega.
Will you be serious?
There goes the buzzer
[Entry #3 is Ric Flair]
NO!
Oh, yes!
DAMN IT!
That's okay. I know Perfect's got him ready. [Flair gives one last high-five to Mr. Perfect and enters the ring] He's confident.
Did you hear what I just said?
What? You talking to me?
Yes.
What'd you say?
No one ever, in the history of the Royal Rumble, has drawn numbers 1-5, and been there at the end.
OH, SHUT UP! Take your time, Champ. Pace yourself! I'm gonna have to apologize to the people; I don't think I can be really be objective.
When have you ever been objective?!
Flair, let Sags do all the work. Go over to the corner and rest, you only have two minutes...
You're supposed to be a broadcast journalist — be objective here.
I told you to shut up! Leave me alone.
Back off, Ric. Let Haku do the dir... the kicking. [Haku attacks Flair] See!
Oh, there it is!
What the heck are you doing, Haku? Have you gone nuts?
Just to show you it's every man for himself.
Oh no, no, no!
...every guy that comes out here.
This isn't fair to Flair! There are no friends, Monsoon! Only enemies—thirty enemies!
Where's Perfect?
They're not allowed at ringside, Brain. You know that.
He's not a manager, he's an executive consultant.
Same thing — a pest.
Shawn Michaels is making guacamole out of El Matador.
He is not.
Look at the tights; they're green.
[Ric delivers a low blow to British Bulldog]
Did you see that? Talk about desperation.
You know what's at stake? A man'll do anything!
Pulling out all the stops, Ric Flair doing whatever necessary to hang in there.
I'd do that to my own grandmother if I had to.
I'm sure you would.
Flair in excess of twenty-something minutes now. Coming up on thirty minutes, I do believe.
Oh, my goodness.
[The Big Boss Man makes a running dive at Flair, but Flair ducks, sending Boss Man onto the ropes]
Oh, nice move. [The momentum carries the Boss Man over the top to the floor, getting eliminated and leaving Flair alone in the ring] Boss Man, did his feet hit the ground? Yes.
Yes! Flair's the champion of the world! Flair wins it!
What?! Are you kidding?! There's a lot more guys! A lot more still to come.
Take a breather!
Here's his chance to get a little breather.
Listen to me, listen to me. Take your time. You've got seven seconds.
Boy, is he hurting. Sucking, trying to get that oxygen in that body. And here comes... [Buzzer sounds for entry #15] Roddy!
[as #15, Rowdy Roddy Piper, runs to the ring] Oh no! Of all the people, anyone but Piper!
It's Piper!
Piper could become World Wrestling... this isn't fair to Flair! Of all the people...
It's the Intercontinental Champion going bananas!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Royal Rumble pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.