JBL quotes from Royal Rumble

You wanna go to the top of the mountain? Get this tape and watch it over and over and over again because that is the best in the business and how they fight!

(after Undertaker wins the Royal Rumble) Get ready, WrestleMania! The Deadman's coming!

[on entry #17: The Godfather, accompanied by two lovely ladies] From Vegas! He brought his Rat Pack!

[after Fandango nails El Torito in the head] PETA's gonna be upset about that. You can't abuse a bull. I hear Mantaur's his grandfather.

What's gonna happen at No Way Out, you will face the man that you did not pin tonight—The Big Show.

What's he gonna do, eat me? What's he gonna do? I don't care if he's from the Jurassic Age, the Triassic Age or the Chevy Classic Age; I'm gonna beat the Big Show like he's gonna eat a pizza!

Somebody call the San Antonio sheriff because Kennedy was robbed tonight!

Kennedy wasn't robbed. He was beaten by a game champion, by the World Heavyweight Champion, the Animal Batista.

No, he was beaten 'cause Nick Patrick had his head up his ass and laid down...ignored a World Championship count!

I guess you didn't see the low blow.

I saw the low blow! So what? You get hit in the mouth, you get hit low, that's what happens in World Championships! Kennedy, after a year of beating six World Champions, had a shot with the lights on bright, he danced his ass off, and he deserves to be walking out with that gold right now, going to WrestleMania!

The hard thing about the Rumble—and you know this, King—is you're out there, you're tired, you're trying to eliminate people, and all of the sudden, someone fresh comes out there and comes after you.

You guys know all about, being well, in Rumbles for a long time. JBL, you lasted 40 minutes in one Rumble; King, you lasted over 36 minutes in another.

Yeah, but I hid for 30 minutes under the ring.

Well, you stole the punchline from JBL.

[on CM Punk] They say he doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs; I call that boring, But that's okay, he's real talented.

But he's a hell of an athlete...

He's a great athlete. Obviously doesn't have much of a social life.

King Booker claiming he never got his one-on-one rematch with Batista...

"Claiming"?! He never got his one-on-one rematch! That guy right there got robbed of the World Championship. He should be the one fighting Batista, not having to come out here in the Royal Rumble, but what he has the opportunity to do—[as Booker eliminates Gregory Helms] Goodbye, Gregory Helms, see you later!—what he has the opportunity to do is add one more accolade to a Hall of Fame career!

And the Hardys, who have a long history with Edge, going to work on Rated-RKO.

Well, they stole all their girlfriends.

[King Booker eliminates Kane, even though Kane already eliminated him] It's legal to bring a Singapore cane in there, it's legal to bring a chair in there, it's legal to come back in and you can do it!

So...so, does that mean Kane's eliminated?

Kane is eliminated, he's over the top rope, Kane is out!

This is ridiculous!

It's not ridiculous, it's fact, Michael! It is what it is!

Uh-oh!

Here comes Visagra.

But I don't think he's bringing any love to the Royal Rumble.

Booker and Kane are still going at it here at ringside! Booker incensed that the Big Red Machine eliminated him...

How the hell could he not be incensed? He should have never had to been in the Royal Rumble anyway!

Oh, come on, John, call the damn match!

Takes a cheap shot at him and throws him out!

That's part of the match and you know it!

He should've had...he should not have had to been in the Royal Rumble, Michael! I'm begging you to be unbiased!

Is there anybody in there capable of lifting Viscera over the top rope?

Like I said before, seven men it took in Viscera's debut.

I don't know how many men Viscera's gonna eat.

JBL, did Michael Cole just compare Rob Van Dam to Gumby?

I said he was Gumby-like.

Disgusting. I deal with this every week.

CM Punk is a popular young star. He's got a huge future ahead of him, whether he wins this Royal Rumble or not.

Needs to start drinking though.

Here comes Miz, at #29.

Miz?!

Don't worry, King, I hate him too.

And Miz... [The Great Khali picks Miz up and tosses him out of the ring, eliminating him] Well, he may have set a record.

The Warlord had the record at three seconds—did Miz just beat it?