Vince McMahon quotes from Royal Rumble

You know, McMahon, I'm getting tired of your barbs tonight, and I'm tired of you getting down on me, and if you don't knock it off, you're gonna hear from Barry Bloom.

Who?

You know who.

How does he get the Gang over the top? That is the question, McMahon. The Gang weighs somewhere between 450-500 pounds—how is Duggan gonna get him over the top rope?

Obviously, he'd have to do what I believe, in some sort of fashion, the Gang's momentum is heading into the rope, and with the Gang going into the rope, Duggan can get underneath, he'll go.

There might be another way too, if he can find the 2x4.

Why's that?

Well, he could hit the Gang with the 2x4. That would be the only equalizer I could see.

Then again, the Hacksaw himself, somewhere around the 285 pound mark...[One Man Gang charges Duggan, who pulls the top rope down. His action sends the Gang over the top rope and onto the floor, winning Duggan the Rumble] Oh yes! That's it!

He pulled the top rope down! I can't believe it. Out of all the people to win this thing, it's him?

What a smart thing to do. Hacksaw Jim Duggan drops the top rope on the One Man Gang!

I can't believe he actually did it.

The winner of the Royal Rumble: Hacksaw Jim Duggan!

You know, with the brain power that Duggan's got, I'll bet you he tripped and fell and the Gang toppled over.

Well it's... It's obvious to me that Owen Hart is blaming...

[Owen kicks Bret in the injured leg, knocking the elder Hart down] Oh no!

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! That's the smartest thing that Owen Hart has done all night, McMahon. As a matter of fact, that's the smartest thing that Owen Hart has ever done. I think you've just seen a major change in that man's career. He is finally waking up to the fact that he's not going to stand in the shadow of big brother anymore, because big brother wants to hog the limelight.

[A chorus of boos rain down on Owen as he leaves the ring] Can you imagine what the Hart family must be thinking back in Calgary right now? They thought we were going to see Owen and Bret, as brothers, win the Tag Team championships! Instead, they see that man right there!

All he had to do was tag me, but he was too selfish to worry about me! He just worries about himself! He's gotta be a hero and fight the whole match by himself! All he had to do was tag me. I know he had a bad leg! Why didn't he just tag me?! Just tag me, Bret, but you're too damn selfish.

I can't believe those remarks!

I can! He hit the nail right on the head. That's exactly what I said, McMahon. That's exactly what I said, and Owen Hart has just waken up. From now on, you're gonna see a whole new attitude from that young man, and I see him going to the top.

You gotta remember one thing, McMahon. When it's all over, [the buzzer sounds] done and said, when the smoke clears and the dust settles, they don't care how...

[#6 is Bart Gunn] Here comes Bart. Here comes Bart Gunn!

...they just wanna know who. When it's all over, who won. Not how they win, who won.

[#7 is Diesel] Look at this monster.

That's one big man, McMahon. Almost as big as me.

Yeah, right.

Hey, if I'm standing on my wallet.

[#10 is Virgil, an alternate entry, who attacks Diesel] What a story this would be if Virgil could dump the big man out.

Well, the key word there, McMahon, is "alternate." [As he says this, Diesel eliminates Virgil] Virgil made his mistake long ago when he left me. See what I mean?

Who is gonna stop this huge monster in the ring?

Next!

That must have been Bret. That must be Bret Hart. That's unfortunate.

[laughs] A matter of opinion.

Nine men currently in the Rumble, and unfortunately it would've been ten with Bret Hart, I suppose. Bret Hart wanted to be in the Rumble; it was a dream of his to be in the Royal Rumble, to win this one, and then go on to perhaps once again be the WWF Champion. It has been a bad night for Bret Hart, one that I'm sure he will never ever forget, and a bad night for the whole Hart family.

Not Owen! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

[as the buzzer sounds] The ring is really filling up with humanity now. Who is it? Who is it? [Entry #27 is, limping to the ring...] It's Bret Hart! It's Bret Hart!

I can't believe it! I just can't believe it! I'll tell you what. I'll tell you, McMahon, that's sure...he's sure showing a lot of guts!

Look at that determination! Look at that determination!

Yeah, look how stupid he is for risking this after he'd been hurt so bad! There's a lot of guts, but no brains at all!

I don't know what Bret can do in the ring, in the Royal Rumble, if he can do anything. But I'll tell you, if he doesn't do anything, I'll give that man credit for returning. What gumption, what guts on the part of Bret Hart.

I don't know what you're seeing, McMahon. I give him credit for being stupid. He's out there risking what could be his career with a severe injury, just to prove to all these people that he's got guts.

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please! Due to the inability of the official...

Put that chair down!

[cont'd]... to maintain control of this contest, he has declared this match a draw!

Can you believe this? The Heartbreak Kid drew #1! Well, you can bet Shawn Michaels won't be going to WrestleMania as the #1 contender. Michaels fooled everybody on the Action Zone earlier on—Michaels acted like he was proud of his number. It's the luck of the draw, and Shawn Michaels very unlucky here tonight at the Royal Rumble, and Michaels better get all the glory he can right now. [As Shawn dances off his gear in the ring] Oh, please, give me a break.

Let me just tell you this, McMahon. He loves being the #1 draw because of what he's doing right now. It means that it's just all that much longer he gets to strut his stuff in front of Pamela Anderson. But don't get your hopes up, Shawn. She might accompany him to WrestleMania, but she'll be accompanying me tonight.

[on entry #5, Jimmy Del Ray] I like this guy. I like him.

You like him?

Yes.

Well, is he gonna win the Rumble?

I don't like him that much.

Who do... you don't like him that much.

I told you I've already gone on record, I started... I did wanna change my prediction. I went on record as predicting Shawn Michaels, but when I saw he drew #1, I thought about changing it.

To whom? Who would you choose?

I'll tell you later.

Is Dink in there?

Of course not. You would see him, wouldn't you?

No, you can't see him. He gets lost in shag carpet.

Look at Luke the Bushwhacker—he's heading back already, but he stayed longer than he was in in 1991. He only lasted 4.9 seconds then.

What, have you got a stopwatch on?

Yeah, look at this. See Mickey's hand?

[#16 is Mo] Oh no. It's Mo.

It's Mo from Men on a Mission. [Mo enters the ring, charges King Kong Bundy, and gets backdropped over the top to the floor, getting eliminated]

WHOO HOO HOO! WHOO HOO HOO! Look at my watch! Mo was on a mission, wasn't he? He just broke Luke's record! Ha ha ha ha! What did he last? One second?

One of these men that you're looking at right now, one of them, and only one, will go to WrestleMania and face the WWF Champion, whomever he may be, and being escorted by Pamela Anderson.

Woo, yeah!

And she is impressed, unquestionably...

Look, she waved at me! Wink at me, baby!

She wasn't winking at you.

Yes, she was.

And you don't have a date with her either.

She loves me. I do! I'm telling you I do. I'll tell you all about it, maybe.