Jesse Ventura quotes from Royal Rumble

[on #13,Hacksaw Jim Duggan] What's he gonna come in and beat everybody with a 2x4?

You know, McMahon, I'm getting tired of your barbs tonight, and I'm tired of you getting down on me, and if you don't knock it off, you're gonna hear from Barry Bloom.

Who?

You know who.

How does he get the Gang over the top? That is the question, McMahon. The Gang weighs somewhere between 450-500 pounds—how is Duggan gonna get him over the top rope?

Obviously, he'd have to do what I believe, in some sort of fashion, the Gang's momentum is heading into the rope, and with the Gang going into the rope, Duggan can get underneath, he'll go.

There might be another way too, if he can find the 2x4.

Why's that?

Well, he could hit the Gang with the 2x4. That would be the only equalizer I could see.

Then again, the Hacksaw himself, somewhere around the 285 pound mark...[One Man Gang charges Duggan, who pulls the top rope down. His action sends the Gang over the top rope and onto the floor, winning Duggan the Rumble] Oh yes! That's it!

He pulled the top rope down! I can't believe it. Out of all the people to win this thing, it's him?

What a smart thing to do. Hacksaw Jim Duggan drops the top rope on the One Man Gang!

I can't believe he actually did it.

The winner of the Royal Rumble: Hacksaw Jim Duggan!

You know, with the brain power that Duggan's got, I'll bet you he tripped and fell and the Gang toppled over.

Look at how the Boss Man is manhandling Hogan.

Yeah but he just got in the ring. The Hulkster's been in the ring for a half hour.

No he wasn't! He was in there five minutes ago!

Hulk still creating mayhem for the Big Boss Man.

Now, that's illegal! Hogan was eliminated!

Yes, he is, Jesse. So what?

"So what"? If they'd have done that to Hogan, Monsoon, you'd have been totally irate!

And this is what Hulkamania is all about. Going out there and flagarantly cheating. Not leaving the ring when you're eliminated. Causing someone else to be eliminated when you have no business out there.

Are you condoning what the Big Boss Man did; what he and the Slickster did to the Hulkster?

That was weeks ago. I'm talking here and now, Monsoon.

Sorry, you could only go back to the last couple of minutes then, or what happened yesterday.

Hey, yesterday's gone. It's today that counts.

[seeing Virgil outside the ring after DiBiase has entered] Hey, he's not supposed to be out there!

Well who knows, Virgil could be number 31.

I'll tell you something though, Gorilla. As bad as it looks for the Million Dollar Man right now, don't count him out yet.

Why, because Virgil's still out there?

No, because he's a darn good wrestler.

Oh, there he goes! [Virgil jumps in and attacks Studd] Look out, Virgil from behind. [Studd turns around and fights him throughout] Big John just turned around and faced him, didn't even acknowledge those shots he got. Virgil is indeed in trouble. Just like a rag doll. You're talking about 280 pounds of man there.

This is definitely a little bit of an added attraction, isn't it?

The Royal Rumble is over, John Studd is the winner; he's just having...this is some creme on the cake, Jess.

Well, I got to admit, Virgil kind of brought it on himself. But you got to respect Virgil, he's a paid bodyguard and he came in and tried to do his job.

There goes the 31st man.

Here is your winner of the Royal Rumble: Big John Studd!

Not even Mickey and Goofy could get in here and I made sure of that. They didn't have tickets. Do you have a ticket, Schiavone?

No I don't. I... what are you insinuating?

Then what are you doing here?

I just wanted to sit beside you if that's okay.

I remember not too long ago on Saturday Night's Main Event, the Genius upset the Champion Hulk Hogan!

He did?

Yeah. Schiavone, who won the match?

Yeah but Perfect was on the outside with the belt. We all know what happened.

No yeah buts! Who won the match?

The Genius.

Here's the countdown...who will be next in the Royal Rumble?

Uh-oh! It's André the Giant! The first member of Heenan family makes his appearance, André the Giant, The 8th Wonder Of The World.

Watch out! With a... [Demolition hit a double ax-handle on Andre the Giant. The momentum carries Andre over the top rope and eliminates him] He's out!

They got him! Demolition have accomplished a major obstacle. They've eliminated Andre the Giant!

Andre the Giant...certainly one of the favorites for the Royal Rumble...will be no more in this event.

[as Smash, Haku and Jim Neidhart try to lift Earthquake out of the ring] They've got the feet up. They got the Earthquake's feet up, they're calling for more help.

Here comes Snuka. [Jimmy Snuka pushes from under Earthquake] Underneath.

There's four of them. Four guys can't get the Earthquake...[DiBiase joins in] Here comes DiBiase–that's five.

And Bravo... [Just as Dino Bravo tries to stop them, Earthquake finally gets pushed over the top to the floor, getting eliminated] Oh!

Eliminated the Earthquake! That is a major accomplishment of major teamwork of major proportions!

It took five of them! FIVE OF THEM!

It took...many of them.

Shawn Michaels eliminated by the Warrior. And Rick Martel eliminated by the Warrior and look at this. Look at this!!

My God.

Hulk Hogan and the Warrior!!

There is not a person sitting down. Everyone on their feet. Look at the eyes of the Hulkster...the eyes of the Warrior.

Whoa!!! What a match up this will be! The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan one-on-one.

[Hogan and Warrior stare at each other] Hold on to your seats. This place is gonna explode.

[Hogan and Warrior collide into each other] Whoa! Nobody moved. Again, nobody moved.

Look at this.

[Hogan runs vertically across the ring, Warrior runs horizontally.] Criss-cross.

[Hogan drops face first on the mat] The Hulkster down...he missed a clothesline.

OH!! And they clotheslined each other. They're both down, unbelievable.

Absolutely incredible. These two athletes...the Hulkster, the Warrior...every man for himself going at it...and they both are down. Listen to the fans.

Here's the Perfect Plex! [Mr. Perfect plants him] Look at this! He could've pinned him.

[But Hulk Hogan escapes and rises to his knees] NO!

I don't believe this.

Absolutely not. [Perfect tries to attack Hogan, but Hogan begins Hulking up] You're right in saying that Perfect is the freshest of the two, but the other is Hulk Hogan. [On his feet, Hogan now attacks Perfect] And here he comes! [Hogan slingshots Perfect into the turnbuckle]

WHOA! He put him into the post! See what Perfect did to the post!

[Hogan continues to attack Perfect] Actually, he was saved by the post that time, I think.

Saved? How do you get saved hitting the post?

Well, if he hadn't hit the post, he would've gone over the top. [Hogan signals to another corner] There he goes! [Hogan throws Perfect out, winning the Rumble] YES!

I don't believe it!

The winner of the Royal Rumble: World Wrestling Federation Champion Hulk Hogan!

[Hogan takes a sign from the front row and presents it to the crowd. It reads "HULKAMANIA WILL LIVE FOREVER"] YEAH! Hulkamania will live forever!