Michael Cole quotes from Royal Rumble

No announcer should enter the Royal Rumble match.

[as Cody Rhodes points to Roman Reigns and the two of them yell at each other from far away] Hey Roman Reigns! What inning are we on anyway?

Now you tell the Rock, after the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today, you quit!

Go to Hell, Rock!

Well, The Rock may go to Hell, but your candy ass first!

Say you quit!

You'll have to kill me.

Now The Rock guaran-damn-teed to the millions...[smells at the crowd] and millions of The Rock's fans, that he was gonna make that son-of-a-bitch scream, "I Quit!" [walks over Mankind] Mankind, your monkey ass says "I quit!" [shoves the microphone to an unconscious Mankind; audio from Sunday Night Heat of Mankind yelling "I quit! I quit! I QUIT!" is heard]

[over the recording] What?

What?

[referee Earl Hebner calls for the bell] He-he... He... He said it!

[to Hebner] Now, you get your monkey ass in the ring, and award the WWF Champ!

The Rock is the champion! We have a new champion! The Rock makes me sick!

[over Cole speaking] The winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation champion: The Rock!

All right, I don't know if I agree with the way he did it, but he is once again the Corporate Champion!

Only one other man in the history of the Royal Rumble has gone from #1 to win it all—Stone Cold is gonna try to become #2. There is only one Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Well that's true, but let me just tell you this. You like to talk about history, I venture to say there is only one WWF Superstar that is gonna be in this very ring tonight that has never ever lost a match in his life.

And who is that?

That is Mr. McMahon.

Oh, please, he's never had one.

He's never lost a match in his life! Shut up!

[on entry #6: Gillberg] It's the man called Gillberg.

He could win this whole thing.

King, you're not serious.

Well, maybe not.

Gillberg is 0-2. Who will be #1? Who will be his first victim? He's spending more time posing in the walkway than he is getting in the ring.

He's got chants.

[as Gillberg screams out at the crowd] Well, Gillberg now in the Royal Rumble match. And Edge...

Ah, Gillberg!

Oh, please. Gillberg is in and out. So I guess we can say that Gillberg is 0-3 now.

Droz and Edge have been in the ring a long time. The longer you're in the ring, the easier it is to toss you out; and the object is to go over the top rope and both feet hit the floor, and Tiger's in danger of having a quick exit.

Wait a minute, the longer you're in the ring, the easier it is to toss you out.

Yeah, the more tired you get.

What about the man called Gillberg?

First off, you picked Steve Blackman to win the Rumble match, he's been eliminated; you also picked Gangrel to win the Rumble match, you still have a chance to make a little money.

Well, I know I picked Blackman. That damn Psychic Network lied to me.

Did they give you the tip on Gangrel as well? And here's Gangrel...

I'll never listen to Dionne Warwick again. She's an idiot.

...who almost won the European Championship match in a great match against X-Pac earlier tonight.

I'm calling LaToya Jackson.

Gangrel on the ropes now. Road Dogg... [Road Dogg launches Gangrel out of the ring, eliminating him] ...sends Gangrel for the ride. Road Dogg is cleaning house! Hey, King. Hey, King. You're 0-2.

Get him, Rock! Get him! [The Rock climbs up to the apron and the two fight] Here he goes. I knew it!

Here we go now! They're getting it on! [Seeing this, Mr. McMahon, with the help of the Rock...] Wait a minute!

Look at this!

[...throws Austin out, winning the Rumble] Wait a minute! NO! NO! Mr. McMahon has won the Royal Rumble!

[Over Cole speaking] The winner of the 1999 Royal Rumble: Mr. McMahon!

I KNEW IT! HAHAHAHAHA!

Mr. McMahon has eliminated the Rattlesnake thanks to the Rock! Mr. McMahon will face the Rock at WrestleMania, and Austin is livid!

[Austin and the Rock fight all the way to the backstage area] Look at this!

And Austin taking out his frustrations on the champion! Austin is beating the hell out of the champion!

But right now, Michael Cole, it doesn't matter! This is, without a doubt, the greatest night in the history of the World Wrestling Federation!

Mr. McMahon has won the Royal Rumble match! I never thought I'd ever hear myself say that! Somebody slap me in the face!

Here!

Is this a dream?

King, he didn't do it by himself; he had plenty of help. He sat here at ringside for most of the damn match!

I don't care how he did it. He won the Royal Rumble!

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe that Team Angle has been ejected from this contest!

Wait a minute, that ain't...if that's true, that ain't cool, that ain't right!

What do you mean, it's not right?

[stammering] Well, I...maybe it is right. I don't know, I thought Team Angle was out here to learn and...observe from Kurt Angle.

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit will be a classic match-up. There is no need for Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas to be involved. I believe Kurt Angle, Tazz, deep down inside realizes that he cannot beat Chris Benoit. He brought Benjamin and Haas in here as an insurance policy—that insurance policy has been sent to the back.

And this is a damn shame that Triple H had to end Rey Mysterio's hopes this way.

Well, this just shows you how...

Orton parading around with Mysterio. [Mysterio grasps the top rope] And Rey! Rey hanging on to the top rope!

Rey hanging on for dear life here. [Suddenly Rey turns around, puts his legs between Orton's head...] Whoa, whoa!

And Mysterio! [...and does a hurricanrana, throwing Orton out and winning the Rumble] HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!

No way!

REY MYSTERIO DID IT!

Here is your winner: Rey Mysterio!

REY MYSTERIO IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!

Latino Heat is alive and well! Look at this!

Rey Mysterio dedicated this match-up to Eddie Guerrero, he went for over an hour with the Eddie Guerrero logo on his wrestling tights, and Rey Mysterio has won the 2006 Royal Rumble match!

Well, without a doubt the biggest win in Rey Mysterio's career, but it could lead to an even bigger win at WrestleMania.

It's been well-documented, JBL, that when Mr. Kennedy can target a body part, he will be relentless and rabid on the assault throughout the match-up, and that's what he's doing here.

Just what I said. Just exactly what I said! I'm sitting out here with a damn parrot!

Somebody call the San Antonio sheriff because Kennedy was robbed tonight!

Kennedy wasn't robbed. He was beaten by a game champion, by the World Heavyweight Champion, the Animal Batista.

No, he was beaten 'cause Nick Patrick had his head up his ass and laid down...ignored a World Championship count!

I guess you didn't see the low blow.

I saw the low blow! So what? You get hit in the mouth, you get hit low, that's what happens in World Championships! Kennedy, after a year of beating six World Champions, had a shot with the lights on bright, he danced his ass off, and he deserves to be walking out with that gold right now, going to WrestleMania!

The hard thing about the Rumble—and you know this, King—is you're out there, you're tired, you're trying to eliminate people, and all of the sudden, someone fresh comes out there and comes after you.

You guys know all about, being well, in Rumbles for a long time. JBL, you lasted 40 minutes in one Rumble; King, you lasted over 36 minutes in another.

Yeah, but I hid for 30 minutes under the ring.

Well, you stole the punchline from JBL.