Hermione quotes from Robot Chicken

What are we going to do?

Hermione

Let’s ask Hagrid for help.

Don't be ridiculous, Hermione. We need to confront the terrible horror ourselves and potentially end up hospitalized, like always.

Hermione

Professor Snape, Harry and Ron were cursed by the monster Pubertus.

Pubertus eh? Let's discuss this further in my magical jacuzzi. Barry Whitus, Candle Lightus. Girl Excitus! So...shall we play "Put the Sorting Hat on the Slytherin?"

Hermione

Pedophilius Repellus!

Look Potter, I taught the Sorting Hat a new trick. [places it onto Harry Potter's head]

Virgin.

Looks like Potter is "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Laid." Heheh. Guess the monster Pubertus hasn't quite caught up with you yet, huh?

Hermione

Ugh, Pubertus is just a myth, Malfoy!

Second base!

Alright, students, spells ready? Begin. Miss Granger.

Hermione

Orchideous!

Mr. Potter.

Orchideous!

Mr. Longbottom.

Orc-uh...Orc-uh...Orc-hoo-dious. [his arm suddenly turns into a evil monkey who starts to eat his face]

What happened?

Hermione

His spell! He was only off by one syllable!

Ah, yes. The spells "orchideous" and "orchoodious" are very similar. Do be careful.

Finally, add two drops of Wolfsbane extract to your potion. I hope everyone understands. [the students just look at him and not doing anything] Well? What are you waiting for?

Ron

We usually don't start until you insult Harry.

Am I really that predictable? Very well. Potter, you fool!

Ron

[after mixing his potion] Well, bottoms up. [drinks it]

Hermione

How much drops of wolfsbane extract did you use?

Ron

Uh, three? [his jaw suddenly contracts and his teeth fire off the gums before his head explodes, killing him]

Hermione

Professor Snape, what happened?

He used too much wolfsbane extract, it looks like.

He used one extra drop! That margin for error is pretty bloody slim!

Hermione

This spell's supposed to change our eye color. Why would we risk exploding skulls just to change our eye color?

Uh...Potter, you fool?

Well, it's understandable, we're teaching children a deadly art, after all. It's like trying to teach cats how to disarm landmines.

Uh...Where are all the students?

Hey...Where's Hermione?

Ha ha! We all called her a slut on Facebook!

Children, I have some sad news. Her-my-one Granger hung herself.