[During Transfiguration lessons at Hogwarts]
Alright, students, spells ready? Begin. Miss Granger.
Orchideous!
Mr. Potter.
Orchideous!
Mr. Longbottom.
Orc-uh...Orc-uh...Orc-hoo-dious. [his arm suddenly turns into a evil monkey who starts to eat his face]
What happened?
His spell! He was only off by one syllable!
Ah, yes. The spells "orchideous" and "orchoodious" are very similar. Do be careful.
[School bell rings, cut to Snape's lesson in potions class downstairs in the dungeons]
Finally, add two drops of Wolfsbane extract to your potion. I hope everyone understands. [the students just look at him and not doing anything] Well? What are you waiting for?
We usually don't start until you insult Harry.
Am I really that predictable? Very well. Potter, you fool!
[The students start to mix potions]
[after mixing his potion] Well, bottoms up. [drinks it]
How much drops of wolfsbane extract did you use?
Uh, three? [his jaw suddenly contracts and his teeth fire off the gums before his head explodes, killing him]
Professor Snape, what happened?
He used too much wolfsbane extract, it looks like.
He used one extra drop! That margin for error is pretty bloody slim!
This spell's supposed to change our eye color. Why would we risk exploding skulls just to change our eye color?
Uh...Potter, you fool?
[Cut to McGonagall, Snape and Dumbledore talking in a classroom]
Well, it's understandable, we're teaching children a deadly art, after all. It's like trying to teach cats how to disarm landmines.
[No students are in the classroom]
Uh...Where are all the students?
[Cut to the American school]
Hey...Where's Hermione?
Ha ha! We all called her a slut on Facebook!
Children, I have some sad news. Her-my-one Granger hung herself.
[All the kids starts to dance, while Harry hides his face in his arms]
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